Aspergers and Girl/Boy friends

[Tiggles]

DS1 is 8 (almost certainly Aspergers) for a long time he has been 'friends' with a girl, ie I am friends with said girl's mum and we try and encourage them to be friends. So they have always been boy and girl friend. Anyhow, apparently the girl has dumped him as people have been telling her "he is using you". So he has asked 3 more girls to be his girl friend. He was telling me this on the way to school this morning. He told me that girl A, B and C were all his girlfriend. Girl A often walks to school the same way as us (I am friendly with her mum) and I know Girl A finds him very irritating - he jumps around and flaps his hands in her face, when she sees him coming she runs off as fast as she can. So I said to him, are you sure she is your girlfriend, "Yes she is my girlfriend but I am not her boyfriend".
Any good tips on how I try and explain to him that he can a) just be friends with people they don't need to be boy/girl friend
b) he can't go harassing this poor girl who really doesn't like him at all .
As he was not taking any info off me at all this morning.
Or do I leave him to it??

We have (generally) so little understanding of different friendships and relationships that it's like explaining sounds to someone who's been deaf from birth. He's having to guess wildly what the word might mean, with no real understanding of it.

It might help to have a list of rules of what is a friend and what is a girlfriend and the differences, with pictures. And social stories that talk about what to do and not do around friends. It certainly helps me.

Is he doing this stuff to the girl in school, or outside of school? It can help to let other children know how to help stop unwanted behaviour from him, e.g. hold up a hand at arm's length and say "STOP" very clearly.

TBH I don't think at this age a lot of NT kids would understand either.

See thread on the main board - but when small all the kids think they have boy / girl friends.

So I know that soon he will be too old for this to apply - but maybe give him a tiny bit more time to work it out for himself?

Thanks both of you. Indigo, which main board? I had a bit of a look around but probably wan't looking in the right place.

Hi Little,

I meant this thread

But they are talking about 5 / 6 year olds - not 8 year olds. And actually thinking about it it was in Year 1 when my DD was all into boyfriends.

So I want to apologise for my answer . 8 is a bit old to be doing what you said.

However, I think Aspergers is often a developmental delay, so at 8 she is doing what 5 years are doing. By 10 she might have figured out what 6 year olds have figured out and stop doing it without any input from you...

My little Aspie is almost 10 - and his social skills have improved considerably over the years.

Thanks Indigo :) DS is in year 4, so guess he 'should' be growing out of it.