Do your friends ever comment on your parenting??

[lisad123isgoingcrazy]

Before I start I know i was being unreasonable.
DD1 was playing on climbing frame at school, DD2 following her as always and doing her normal high risk behaviour. DD1 was on a tall part of the climbing ship that DD2 couldnt get down from (she could get up). After having to get DD2 3 times I had enough of it and asked DD1 to stay off that bit and to play on the lower ones that they both could climb on and off from.

Friend went mad at me telling me i was horrible, i was restricting DD1 and she'll resent her little sister.
I was so shocked and embrassed by this. I know I should post on other part of MN but wanted to moan without being told Im a horrible mother.

I'll give your friend the benefit of the doubt.. Maybe she was having a bad day... But to me I wouldn't want a friend like this.

You did nothing wrong.. And you parent the way that works for you!

Personally I haven't come across this but friends are either very very long standing and the newer ones have mostly got children with some kind of SN.. Which is a bit weird as we all just met randomly.

weeeeelll, it's just one of those things that happen with siblings, surely?

and yes, maybe dd1 will remember this forever - there mus be somethign that you rememeber not being allowed to do becasue of your sisters/being told off for because of your sisters/having to take responibility for when your sisters didn't?

it happens quite lot with us the other way around. dd1 is the one likely to need help (usually she doesn't actually need it, but insists she does) and so, if I am getting fed up with it, I ask dd2 to do something else, as dd1 can't manage it as well, or something.

perfect parenting? probably not. but normal parenting? definitely, imo.

feel better knowing im not the only one. friend has older children and is one of those very bunt ones who says things like "Im used to you letting me down" if I have to cancel arrangements or cant make something

:( SLM, he'll maybe want to meet our puppy one day, his being trained as a therapy dog too

well just let me know. Thornton is very sweet and soft and used to kids. He isnt small but is very lovely.

my ds is petrified of dogs too and so many people say the same thing to us starlight. and the same as your ds it is cats too now, ha been for a while, ive tried letting him meet family dogs gently but he wont enter the house if they are in the garden most of the time though occassionally will if hes wearing his ear defenders, he screams if he sees them when were in the car too, if you have any ideas please share them with me

lisad - i only have one child so no idea what i would do but it sounds perfectly normal thing to do to me, what a nutty friend!!

we took him to meet a friend while we were on holiday and she said her DD was afraid of dogs and would run off screaming and freak out normally. We met outside with all of us and she was very worried at first but he sat tied to a tree while we ate lunch and then walked with us (he walks very nicely) and slowly after about 3 hours she came to say hi, then within the hour she was walking him on his lead
He is a very gentle dog and especially good with kids.

How rude!!!
Is it any of your "friends" business what you let your kids do in the park, fgs.

I think you are teaching your DD1 to think of others as well as herself.

My Sister is of the belief that I exagerate DD1's 'supposed disability', and that I should 'accept DD1 for who she is instead of going on about her difficulties' - I respond by pointing out that I accept DD1 for the wonderful girl she is, but pretending she isn't disabled isn't going to stop her being disabled

I frequently have to gently tell DD2 (3.0) that DD1 can't do that. DD2 jumps and then tells DD1 to do it. DD1 CAN'T JUMP! So I let it go a few times, but then say "DD1 can't do that yet, DD2" - I thinkn it is important that DD2 just knows that DD1's brain is slightly different, and some things she takes for granted just don't happen in DD1's brain. No big secret, just 'that's the way it is', it is normal for DD1.

And who made her God!

I agree Lougie - learning that sometimes you have to moderate behaviour to make everyone enjoy an activity is surely good parenting. There are many activities children can do that can let them push themselves - today the climbing ship wasn't one of them - he-ho.

Yes, just had an afternoon of it but mil has finally gone home; i feel like i have run a marathon - but that's a whole separate thread! Anyway, yes friends can stick their noses in too at times but mostly have learned to ignore it/absorb it.