Does anyone have or know the develpomental milestones for older dc's?

[TheArsenicCupCake]

Trying to decide whether or not to apy for dla.. I know these stages won't tell me if we will get it.. But before I even look at the form of doom .. I want to work out what 'average' is.

So used to being in our own environment I can't see the wood for the trees.

I think that we might stand a chance because we still get up during the night, have to supervise road crossing and outing etc and support personal hygene..
But ds1 was very independant very early.. Dd is only 7 and independant .. And I just feel as if I don't have any bench mark.

TIA .. ( heading off to sort out more paperwork for ds vs school gahhhhh ... But will be back later)

some vague stuff here and here not sure it'll be much use though, how old is he?

Thanks folks

Ds2 is 11 very nearly 12

dla has been mention to me by a couple of professionals working with ds..
At the moment we do what is 'normal' in our house but what is 'normal' I don't know? :o

the only things I can find online are height weight and puberty!
I'll check the links :)

I think when you get to that age, 'normal' is a much wider band which makes it harder. If it's any use I have a ds1 10 and dd2 11.

You could ask (clearly flagged as SN!) In behaviour/development, or another parenting section.

List out what behaviours you are querying, and see wht parents of other 12 year olds think?

Just on what you have listed, I think you'd have a good case.

My 2 are still little, but I have 2 step.children too. My dss is NT, and yes, I had to check he'd used soap in the shower occasionally (remember a particular incident where he swore blind he had washed, all over, using soap, etc, then was very when I pointed out the dried mud mark the length of his shin from rugby the previous day.... But he admitted (cheerfully) it was sheer laziness, and went straight off to wash as he didn't want to be seen as many and smelly!), bit he was never up in the night unless ill or trying to watch something unsuitable on tv, and had perfected a very good eye roll fro when we tried to supervise crossing thw road!

Seriously, he used to wander round his neighborhood alone at 11 (not leafy rural, but London), could go to the shops unaccompanied, take a train journey to the other end of thr country alone, sort out his own washing (clothes - though he didnt want to!), etc.

Bigcar thanks.. ( ds1 is 15 and dd Is 7 which doesn't really help..i don't really have friend with dc's ds2 age and he doesn't really have friends I can spy on lol).

If I list some of what ds2 needs help with.. Can you see if it's the same for yours please :) ( begging smile).

Crossing roads ( minor ones)
being able to attend and go round something like a school fair ( when he should be familiar with the environment) unsupervised and be able to meet me at a certain place or time.

He needs total supervision in unfamiliar places.. ( basically he just goes into panic mode)
supervision around town shops and supermarkets

Teeth brushing
hair brushing
going to bed ( he needs tucking in and frequent visits
to settle)

if I leave it at that.. Can your dc's do these things on their own?

Sorry to sound stupid.
staying asleep.
Understanding and communicating his emotions

Arsenic, my NT 10 yr old can do all of the things listed without supervision.

Brill .. Thanks again

you know what it's like.. I'm so used to all of this I forget what he should or shouldn't be doing...

Yeh I know, ds2 is 7 & I've forgotten what ds1 was doing at that age already.

Except for the roads and she does know how to cross and the shop my nt dd age 7 could do the rest including the school fair as long as I was in building normally been pressganged into doing a stall

oh and she still needs help hairbrushing but she has super curly hair so I need to -drag- brush her hair

Hey Arsenic

From what I know of your child, I would say apply.

When professionals are telling you to go ahead, that is a direct admission that in their opinion you should qualify. And certainly it's only an applciation: the DLA peeps are morte than able to screen out applciations that don't cut it (and a majority of those that do, too!).

But from wehat you have said before, I would get the forms sent (becuase they start to calculate from that date).

Thank you again :) ( now gonna have the chat with DH)

sancti.. Was it your lad who hurt his head at school?

yep, my lot would be fine with all that. They do need reminding to wash/brush teeth, but as has already been said, it's down to a large dollop of can't be bothered. They would need a little reassurance if somewhere strange but wouldn't be panicky, just a little nervous. They take themselves off to bed after a kiss and cuddle and don't appear again until after I shout lots the alarm goes off. They are pretty good with explaining how they are feeling too.

I'm loving the big dollop of lazy.. I tend to find this improves with ds1 ... When there is a female on the scene :)

Arsenic my boy did yes (didn't post on here though so someone elses might have too- posted on TTR).

He seems OK; school had a completely different take on it naturally and ds1 was over the coals on Friday as his TA was off agin (in her defence far from her fault) and ds1 went for some o0ther kids and blakced someones eye badly.

the kid who ripped his shirt.

Who at the time had a skipping rope around ds2's neck.

And ds1 was the one punished. Even though he thought ds2 was on his way to being strangled.

Thank goodness it's year 6! I can't battle harder than constant 1-1 after all, can I?

Just wanted to send you a very knowing hug over it all .. Have been there !
( well ds has Been there ..)

x

If you go for the form let m,e know, am in your town in a few weeks (might be on float performing- eeek- ds1 / ds2 are, but probably watching- am cover and emergency lady LOL)

Very very cool .. Would I be right in thinking 16th oct?

I have
this book out the library at the moment,
which goes up to age 10 development - physical, emotional etc.

ds2 sound just like yours he needs help with all the same things, he has adhd with some asd traits, he is 11 and gets hrc-lrm dla so yes I would say you should go for it.