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SN children

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Original poster

DS2 has got homework for the first time.Advice please.

23 replies

5inthebed · 11/09/2010 14:40

DS2 has got an A4 sheet of homework to be completed by Monday. It is maths based, count the items and put the number down and 2 number lines.

DS2 can't write or hold a pencil because of dyspraxia and I'm not entirely sure h would understand the homework either.

Now I am happy to do the homework with him, but should I write his answers in for him?

I'm going to speak to his teacher on Monday regarding this homework, as I don't think DS2 should be given any just yet, as his learning level is so below the other children and I don't want him preassured into doing things he has no understanding about.

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Spinkle · 11/09/2010 14:49

Hmmmm.... it should be differentiated for him. Teacher should know that, tsk tsk....

You could try talking about it with him and you do the writing (scribing) - and then write what you did on the homework.

whispers I don't actually think KS1 or lower KS2 should have homework. But I shouldn't say that as a teacher.

Ineed2 · 11/09/2010 14:52

This is a tricky one if your Ds can do the maths but not the writing then I guess it would be ok for you to scribe for him after all it is maths homework not writing. IYSWIM, however if he has no idea what to do then I think you should send it back and ask for something which is at his level. Even homework should be diferentiated.I have always felt that there is no point me doing the homework for my Dd's and have often sent it back with a note attached if they don't understand.

Al1son · 11/09/2010 14:52

I would give the homework a try and if he can get the answer I'd scribe for him and then write a note explaining what you did. Then I'd make an appt to see the teacher and ask her to set tasks which are achievable for him.

If he clearly can't grasp the concept I'd stop straight away and tell her what happened. You're right not to want him to try things he can't do. A basic principle of teaching is that you build on what the child is already capable of. Anything else just destroys their self esteem and any desire they have to learn.

Original poster

5inthebed · 11/09/2010 14:55

Oh I totally agree, there is no need for homework hen they're doing work at school.

The homework is pretty basic, but I know that he wil struggle with it. Going to give it a bash and I'll be having words with his new teacher on Monday. She is going to love me! I'm not sure whether or not they expect him to do it or if they've just given it to him so not to leave him out. He never got anything the other children got in reception.

I know for a fact I'm going to get upset when we do it :(

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Original poster

5inthebed · 11/09/2010 17:53

Well that was both physically and mentally draining.

I'm definitely having words on Monday.

I hate Autism today :(

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IndigoBell · 11/09/2010 18:07

Definately don't let them give him homework which is too hard for him. Keep talking to them and telling them this and insisting that the homework they give to him is properly differentiated.

It's OK to scribe for him - but if the actual task is too hard just refuse to do it with him and tell his teacher why.

I wish I'd taken this approach from the begining with my DD.

TheArsenicCupCake · 11/09/2010 18:11

5itb ... I am taking the BT into school next week to make sure ds2 does not get homework! ... And he is in secondary.

It's one of the reccommondations for him by the EP and the BT.. If he has to have a little.. Then he needs to do it at school... Part of the reason is home is home and school is school and the two don't mix in ds2s head.
Go in to school and get it put on his IEP :)

Original poster

5inthebed · 11/09/2010 18:15

I think I should get it for his IEP.

He did get some sheets last year to help with his pencil control, but refused to do them, saying "No, I do them with Miss Smith* (his 1:1)" so I knew it wou be hard anyway. He just sat there making non words. He couldn't count things, kept going one over and don't even get me started on him writtin down the numbers.

*name changed for anonymity

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coppertop · 11/09/2010 18:20

With ds1 the teacher's advice was:

If he didn't understand it then just let her know.

If he did understand it, I could write his answers for him.

She estimated that children would need no more than 10 minutes to do the work, so said that ds1 should spend no more than that on it. If that meant he only did one or two questions then so be it.

She said that if any aspect of it was causing stress then to just leave it and let her know.

Good luck with speaking to your ds2's teacher. :)

auntevil · 11/09/2010 18:46

Same as you Coppertop. DS1 dyspraxic. I must admit to making him do his homework right from day 1. All his teachers have agreed to the following: He writes in answers (if totally illegible I can write next to it) It is his own work - both literacy and numeracy. I will only exceed the time given for the homework to take if he is interested and wants to carry on. if he does this I write down the time he takes. From doing this, the teacher in year 2 worked out how much extra time he needed to complete tasks and gave him this amount of time in class too - approx 3 times longer. His confidence in his work has improved as he is in MS and his stories and work are just as likely to be read out and displayed as any other classmate.
Must point out that he does love learning and has always had a query dx of Aspergers

IndigoBell · 11/09/2010 18:54

Also - this is something really weird. My DD has really bad dyslexia and can't read or write at all (she is currenlty in Year 3).

But no body has ever told her she can't write - and she doesn't know :) She thinks she writes perfectly fine (she can't read anything, so she's not expecting to be able to read her own work :)

Now my point is not for your kid - his dyspraxia will be different to her dyslexia. Just that we've not made her do stuff which is too hard for her. We've never corrected her work. And while she hasn't learnt anything - at least she is still confident and happy. Which is at least a good place to start.

Original poster

5inthebed · 11/09/2010 19:18

Ok, he did write the answers in but they were more of a squiggle, the sort you'd see a toddler do, and I wrote underneath each squiggle once he got the answer. I had to hod his finger and point and count with him to get the answer to the first bit. The number line one, he got most of it wrong and didn't understand what he had to do, but did squiggle for each number, I've not wrote in this one as he didn't understand it.

So will I tell the teacher what he did and didn't understand?

Also, he doesn't hold his pencil to write, he holds it like he is about to stab someone IYKWIM. We have tried to get him to hod it the right way and he gets so frustrated almost as if it is causing him pain.

We are waiting to get a laptop from school for him to use there. Do you think his homework coul be on there if he needed to do it, or would the laptop have to stay at school?

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Marne · 11/09/2010 20:13

Well done for giving it a go, i often find homework hard work with dd1, she is capable of doing it but feels that work is for school and not at home. Dd2 was sent home with a book on thursday and a note saying 'to reed with mummy', i have tried reeding a book with dd2 before but she wont sit and listen but she is capable of reeding it herself (school doesnt seem to realise this). I will try and reed it with her but will end up reeding it to myself. .

5inthebed, hopefully they will let him bring the laptop home.

Original poster

5inthebed · 11/09/2010 20:20

What year is DD1 in again Marne? She sounds as bright as a button

I sometimes feel that his 1:1, as lovely as she is, thinks I'm a bit lazy an make excuses so not to do work with Ds2 at home. He just won't do it! I'm surprised he sat with me this afternoon and did it tbh. But I did get him at a good time, he'd just finished watching Monsters vs Aliens

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woolytree · 11/09/2010 21:37

Great you gave it a go but I agree its a bit much. DD only just started MS School a week and a half ago, shes had 3 'sharing' books, one of which had 3 stories in, and a sheet of letters/sounds to be learnt and used for 'making' a game to play at home. We managed to read two books but before Id even put the 2nd back in her book bag ...another appeared! No notice on timescales, just a cheery printed note about getting DD to recognise words and will be given a reading book when shes ready!!! We are doing reading at home.....bedtime stories every night, magnetic word games but THIS much in her first week...poor DD is exhausted. We havent tried the last book or the sheet. :( Bad Mummy!!!

Marne · 11/09/2010 21:40

Dd1 is 6.5 (going on 15) , she's doing well at school but does complain that writting makes her wrists hurt. I find it hard trying to get her to do any homework, luckily she hasn't had any for a while apart from reading which she has lost intrest in.

I think 'if they dont want to do homework then dont force it', they do plenty of work at school.

UniS · 11/09/2010 22:55

Scribe his answer- what ever it is. wrong number/ right number/ "I don't want to do this" / "what"... what ever.

roundthebend4 · 12/09/2010 07:02

5 in the bed ds is sane struggling to hold pencil I. Anything other than palmer grip and ge is year 1 but is now in speech unit

One things they suggested for maths is the dc that struggle with writing stick the numbers in with glue from a box of pre written numbers

luckily the unit does not believe in homework as the days to long with transport so know he be ok .Does have book to look at/share but only because he wanted one (he can't read or make constant sounds )

BriocheDoree · 12/09/2010 14:57

DD started having homework here and it went really badly. She was happy enough to do it but didn't really grasp what she was supposed to do. However, seeing where she went wrong helped the teachers to modify the next lot so that it was more appropriate to her level. It IS only the start of term and often the teachers don't know our kids yet and don't know what's appropriate!

Original poster

5inthebed · 12/09/2010 21:55

We yes, but his 1:1 who has been with him for the past two years is there with him, so should have known.

I agree it will help show me and them what he is struggling with, which to me is everything written.

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Original poster

5inthebed · 13/09/2010 16:09

Right, well that could have gone better. I started explaining it to his 1:1 and teacher then burst into tears . Left hurridly and tod them I'd speak later. It was one of those moments when I realised how different DS2 is. Don't you just hate those!

Anyway, 1:1 came out after school and apologised, told me that she should have given him homework that he could have done and has given me some stuff she uses to help. Apparently he can do it with her doin the written part of it (as I was doing) so we will try again at the weekend.

I hate crying at school, I feel like such an idiot.

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Al1son · 13/09/2010 19:46

Been there, done that and I felt just as stupid afterwards every time. I nearly broke down today telling DD2's new teacher about DD1's mental health issues. Thankfully I was able to move on swiftly.

It is horrible and it makes us feel very vulnerable but I also think it can be very powerful. it really doesn't do professionals any harm to see how deeply affect parents can be by their child's needs, especially when they've done something which makes it harder.

They won't think any less of you for it and nor will anyone else. You are not an idiot you are a loving mother who cares deeply for her child's welfare.

Find chocolate, wine, etc and give yourself a break.

I'm really glad to hear that the TA has thought things through a bit more as a result.

Original poster

5inthebed · 13/09/2010 20:36

Thanks Al1son. I'm glad I'm not the only one to make a complete show of myself.

Luckily the 1:1 has seen me like this a few times so is used to my mum meltdowns

His 1:1 is fab, so tuned into him. I think this will be her last year with him though as his EP isn't keen on her doing it for the full time DS2 is at their school.

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