Do you ever fell close to complete burnout?

[londongirl4]

7yo DD1 has ASD/ADHD/challenging behaviour...every day there's some sort of extended tantrumming....people always comment how well I cope, but I don't really, inside I don't know who I am anymore (if that doesn't sound too dramatic!)

I sometimes dream about having a nervous breakdown, because then somebody would HAVE TO help me. But then, I couldn't because who'd look after the kids?

I'm aware that this sounds slightly nuts, but does anyone else feel that they're teetering precariously on the edge of complete meltdown, just managing to scrape through the day?

Sounds like your completely worn out and ground down.

I don't think this is uncommon at all.. sadly.. I've been to that point a few times.. It was shear exhaustion.

is there anyone that could give you a break for a bit to re group?

Been there, a couple of years ago I nearly walked out told DH I wanted to get a one bedroom flat, I was crying everyday, not going out and the bare minimum was done in the house.
But to everyone else everything was ok even now I get days like this but DD1 is now 19 and is providing respite for us by letting us get away together occasionally.

Sounds like you need a break.

I do feel that way sometimes, I have also witnessed a good friend not cope, (with NT DCs), shes ok now though. Just be thankfull your a strong Mummy and try to take a little 'me time'......if possible!

Thanks Arseniccupcake, you're right, I'm exhausted, but OH's abroad, don't really get any help......and borderslass, I did say to OH before he left that I wanted to leave and live on my own :(.......just wondered how you turned the corner....

...got my outlaws making their way down the M1 as we speak to 'help' me for the weekend (mainly by telling me that DD is just 'naughty') Oh f*!!....may try and stay in bed and feign illness!

thanks woolytree- yup, could definitely do with a glass- bought a bottle for tonight, have been resisting all week!

You need it if the Outlaws are coming!

Let them take DD out and see for themselves...Or get the NAS tshirt??? :)

...

Right firstly use the outlaws .. They may be a pain.. But.. If they are in any way able.. Got out for at least an hour or two.. Get a book.. And sit and have a cuppa on your own in town and breathe.

If you can buy something nice for yourself ( Epsom salts and vitamins isn't thrilling but it will make a big difference).

Then make a plan... I find a plan always comes in handy :) .. Who you could ask for support.. When you can fit of quite time in for you..etc

do you have support at all from any service?

I have found camhs have been bloody brilliant with regard to help not only for ds2 but for us as a family.. And I could totally throw my ATMs around fs2 behavioural therapist.. In two weeks that woman has made a HUGE difference to all of our lives.. And I haven't felt so worn down and alone.

Ask everyone for support!

Yep, and i curl up once kids are in bed with tea chocolate and tv and have an early night if i can. Everything seems better after good sleep and a good moan to friends.
hope your ok and good that ILs are around to help.

Arms not ATMs ( stupid phone)

LOL Arsenic- I thought it was some new acronym I hadn't heard off, was racking my brains!!...yeah, gonna make good use of OL's, decided I'm not getting up tomorrow (until I feel like it)....did have a caseworker at CAF, but she's just left, waiting for CAMHS referral, school do bits and bobs (let her come to a SN breakfast club & some after school clubs to give me some respite, so can't complain)....did ask my dad for help and he told me to call social services (but in fairness, think he's a bit on the spectrum himself!)...

..lisa, I've been cutting out my old friends as I don't feel I have that much in common with them now as I'm preoccupied by all this and I don't think they could really understand- chocolate sounds good though!

londongirl4 I dont know how close you are to Herts but there is a wonderful groups for girls with ASD that do alot togther. Made some wonderful friends who really understand what im going though.
Let me know if you want me details

Yep - DS1 is almost 7 and has that very same wonderful condition and is prone to the same almost daily screaming tantrums and it is wearing. Very wearing.

DH bought 2 bottles of Shiraz when I sent him to ASDA, this evening. I've got plenty to share.

Never mind feigning illness... actually go to the dr. Even a walk in centre if dr shut. You probably are just knackered but it wouldn't hurt to get a check for depression & physical illnesses. Also it will reinforce your neediness to the OL and mean they are forced to respect your hour out of the house & not summon you back for no reason.

we should have a live chat page, then we can moan in real time

For us it was starting to talk about everything I'd bottle everything up and then have a huge outburst a bit like a child's also having time to ourselves when possible.
Mum had the girls for a few days when DS went to camp 2 years ago and dd2 had ds and dd2 in February and she's also having them in November and we're going away for my 40th.
We'd not any time on our own before that for 10 years.As Arsenic says use your inlaws to take some pressure off you.

Thanks for all your replies- it is SOOOO nice to know I'm not the only one who feels trapped & exhausted more than occasionally and I really like the idea of taking time to think and then more time to think and more time!

In the meantime there's always wine...

I'm going to ask OL's if I they can babysit for a few nights as it'll be my 40th in November too! I would love to go away....

And thanks Lisa, I think I'm a bit too far away- I'm in the south:)

Can we start a wino wine appreciation club?

If it's within your budget ( or get everyone to chip on for your birthday).. And the OLs will give you a night away... Can I reccommend bath spa ( they do a couples thing).. It is perfect!

( that's what I have asked my family for.. For my birthday in October.. )

just Reading about it on the site makes me feel all looked after :)

off to check out spa site!

ooh, that came out all bold, I did it in asterisks, all Twittery like!

:)

I had a spa day for my birthday from/with my bf....it was bliss! :)