What to say to the school DS left in filthy nappy all day :(

[emmyloulou]

Hi noob here just a quickie I will catch up later, when I know everyone is asleep etc, but 2 DS I have are Asd, with other learning difficulties.

DS1 is in special school fluke due to where we live before as places are hard. DS2 mainstream with full time funding for TA.

He has come home stinking of poo, in the nappy I sent him to school in and has had at least 2 different poos in it, tmi, but you can just tell it's not one accident and he hasn't been changed all day.

What do I say to the school as I am bloody furious he is supposed to have a TA for this and when I asked him where she was today he said another class. Are they using my sons TA for other gaps in the school do you think?

What should I do?

Your poor son, I don't need to tell you how appalling it is.

My DS1's preschool specialist teacher showed me a document which said that if a child is left in soiled nappy (or underwear) it constitutes neglect. I don't have a copy of it though - I could ring her tomorrow and ask what the document is so you can quote it if necessary.

I think you have a few options depending on how you want to do it.

a) ring the school first thing tomorrow and ask to speak to the Head and relay what has happened. Ask for a care plan to be drawn up but in the interim you want your DS checked x often. Put what was agreed in writing to them.

b)contact your LEA and tell them what has happened. Demand immediate emergency meeting with school and LEA.

c) speak to IPSEA/SOS!SEN/ACE for specialist advice
IPSEA www.ipsea.org.uk/
SOS!SEN www.sossen.org.uk/
Ace: www.ace-ed.org.uk/

Does your DS's statement include any mention of toileting/personal care?

Does his statement specify that he will have 1:1?

Yes the funding for the TA was granted as he specifically needed help with toileting, he is back in full time nappies, until they got that funding I was at the school 4 times a day to change him and on call for interim accidents.

They are there also to help him catch up due the fact he misses so much time due to toileting and he injures himself and can't say why etc, he feels no pain.

I will send in a letter with him in the morning as I can't ring until the afternoon, as I have a meeting with the pead funnily enough to discuss what's happening with him, he will be at school.

Going to go through it all after dinner in a sec thanks Well I say dinner but I am knackered so whatever I dig out of the fridge for me, sure you know the drill!

LOL Starlight I can't even pretend on the internet I would have been rational

Does he have a statement or was the funding arranged purely to have a TA? Regardless though it is still unacceptable. If prior to the funding they were aware he needed changing as they called you in, it makes even less sense how they failed to notice.

See if the paediatrician can get you the relevant legal stuff - always handy to have a copy should you ever need to remind the school again. (which I really hope is not ever needed).

Yes he does have a statement and it's in there does this make a difference. He also has a care plan highlighting the ta by name how many times they are to check him etc. It's an outreach thing from the local sn school where my other son goes , so this woman is being trained by the lea specifically for my son.

Starlight knows more about statement legalities than me, but from my understanding, yes, you have them nailed to the wall for not providing what is in his statement so they can't blag their way out of it. If it was just extra funding they can weasel their way out of things easier. Plus the care plan means you have pretty damning evidence they are not upholding their duties.

What are your feelings about the situation? Are you happy with his placement there in general? If you are then try and work with them but if you're not happy, I think you're in a strong position to get an emergency review of placement etc. Worth speaking to IPSEA if you wish to take things further.

So got the school bang to rights now, as if I didn't anyway picked him up today, still the same nappy he was sent in, full of wee . His willy is now really sore as well.

I told the pead this morn and she was quite cross, I don't think this school has his interests at heart nor can they cope, he is quite severe.

What can I do, I want him moved really this will be the 2nd time we have had a show down about his care, last time we did have a meeting and take notes etc.

We have all the action plans, what can I do to get him moved.

Hi Emmyloulou, I don't normally post on this board and it sounds like you've been given some good advice already. But I just wanted to say that I feel quite shocked and angry by the way your son has been treated by the school. I work in SEN and I would suggest that you write to the school but that you copy your letter to the Director of Children's Services (I don't understand why more people don't do this- in my experience it's the best way to get things moving with schools). I would then also try to make contact with a senior officer (I mean not an SEN caseworker but a senior school improvement or inclusion advisor) from the local authority who can work with you and the school to resolve this issue. In my experience, LA officers take issues like this very, very seriously (not least because of the disability legislation and child protection implications, and often the more senior ones, ironically, have more time available to help). Moving schools can take a long time, but you may strike it lucky if there is a place somewhere and there is someone quite senior in the LA who knows about the case and knows where to take your request for a change of school. Of course, If you have a school in mind, you could just write to the LEA saying that you do not feel the present placement is suitable any more and requesting they consider your request for another school to be named in the statement. In our LA this would go to SEN panel, they would consult with the school and if the school had a place and could meet the child's needs, a place would be offered. If there was not a place, but it was felt that a specialist placement was appropriate, other provisions would then be considered.

Sorry if that's a bit garbled, it's nearly bedtime!

Best of luck and I hope that your son's situation improves soon :)

Ahh no it all makes sense and it's all helpful as I am not sure what to do, I never had to struggle with DS1 but he was in SN school from the off, whole different county.

I need to start formulating my points to the right people over this weekend I think

I removed my dd from school last year as her needs were so obviously not being met. I then fought the lea for an independant specialist school and won!!! This is neglect and if they are not doing this I would wonder what else they were not doing for your son that they should be.It's an absolute disgrace Good luck!

Jesus fucking Christ it is a basic need, if the TA wasn't available and really nobody could do it, they should have RUNG you!

I'd eviscerate them for this. Seriously.

They have neglected him. Children get put on the child protection register for less than this.

I am staggered that the school left him in the same nappy all day again. I would ring the LEA today and do as bowbluebell suggested. IPSEA have a model letter you may find useful when you follow it up in writing www.ipsea.org.uk/What-you-need-to-know/Common-problems.aspx#NonImplementation

The school is definitely still guilty of neglect and I think I would seriously look at alternative placements. If it was a one-off I would be more cautious, but the fact they used to call you to change him, now have specific resources for the purpose, with a care plan etc and are still choosing to leave is very worrying imo.

Push comes to shove, the LEA does have the power to create an additional space for him somewhere else. Ultimately, the failure of the school providing the contents of the statement bounces back to the LEA, so they (LEA) may be more motivated to help find another placement when it is their neck on the line. My DS1 has bouts of soiling and wetting due to chronic constipation and we found out the school usually ring the parent to deal with it. DS1's Specialist Teacher and the SEN case officer both specifically contacted the school to tell them they were not to do this with DS1. My LEA is notoriously crap btw so the fact they are switched on to it is quite telling. None of this absolves the school of the neglect and they should be severely bollocked appropriately reprimanded for that as well.

I agree with alot of the comments already posted, such a basic need where extra help has already been noted, addressed and allocated should NOT fall flat on it's face. Can I ask if you have a Social Worker (a decent one??) that would be willing to go into school and shadow your child for the day, complete with clipboard and noting all what has been done for him that day? It may be enough to jog them into the spotlight for all that they "should" be doing. My son is doubly incontinent and the occasional accident may occur but not to the degree you have said. Also is it worth taking your son straight down to the Dr's for his "neglect" to be recorded straight away, if you say he's just come from school and present him with a sore bottom, soiled pad they will have to get involved, if the school don't want to look bad and start doing all they "should" be doing then you have many angles to force their hand.

Alternatively find out if the head of the school has a pet dog, borrow the dog for a day, lock it in a cage she can see, and let her see how distressed it would get, my guess is he/she would be changing their tune pretty damn quick!!

Hope you get it all resolved soon, the main person they are hurting with their neglect is your Son, he is the most important person in all of this and needs to be treated with the respect and care that is due.

Will be thinking of you....best of luck xx