It's always the way !

[TheArsenicCupCake]

Got the behavioural therapist over later on .. And ds2 has been a lot lot easier going.. And he's been trying really hard. ( although is still struggling and exploding a bit).

it's like getting the emergency gp appointment and when sat in the waiting room you suddenly feel a bit better :) :(

ahh well.

With a stranger in the house your Ds may show sings of his more challenging behaviour, but agree with just..write some stuff dow so you don't go blank.
Good luck how did you get one of those ? we could do with one at the moment!

:) all written down and have already seen dh and I.

We got her through camhs.. Lot of weiting things down.. Video clips.. Stratagies we had already tried and weren't working so well.. Oh and he blew at school a couple of times.. So itwasnt just me saying about it.

I know we are very very lucky..i just don't want her to think all is good now and disapear!
Took a long long time to get her!( and nowshe is all mine mwahhh):)

Everything takes a long, long time doesn't it, someone I know told me to get Dd3 refered in year one because it takes sooo long, she left her lad till year 3 and then only just got sorted in time for secondary. We are 18 months into the process, still no dx and now don't even have a paed because she left and am waiting for another one.
Maybe will ask for behaviour therapy as soon as we get another paed then we might get it before she's a teen..

:)

the whole thing is basically a nightmare.. You know I just don't get the whole way they do things tbh.. But hey ho!

I will keep everyone updated with the tips we get for the behaviours we have.. Because It may just help out.

Brilliant, thankyou, you are very kind.
I have reached a difficult point with Dd3 which I remember from Dd1, when they say "No" they are not going to do what you ask, and you can't bargain with them or appeal to them because impaired theory of mind means that they simply are not able to see things from another point of view.
When they are liitle you can just scoop them up and off you go but now too big!!
Hope you get on OK later.

Oh I know that feeling with the "no" and no perception of ToM.. And all that jazz.. Tis a nightmare.

Ds2 is nearly 12.. As big as I am and there is just no scooping up happening!
It took us two hours regularly over the holidays even just to get out to the park for dd ( I can't leave ds2 at home even with ds1 yet.. So he had to come!).. It's a strain.
Have found the warning time before something happens helps.
We are going out in 30 mins.. Then the timer goes off every ten mins.. On the last we count the minutes down! X is happening in x amout of time.. Put your shoes on!
Etc
and a big thankyou or star for achieving said thing!
Doesn't work all the time.. But we count down everything.
BT reminded us to do this because it will take ds2 3/4 mins to process the new instruction... If he is calm... If not times it by x amount of time ( according to mood)... And one simple ask at a time.. So no " put socks and shoes on please..." more like " put socks on your feet"
then when that is done " put shoes on "

it's bloody hard work.. But things are improving!

Yep I do counting down too, SALT, talked to me about giving much clearer instructions like "put your clothes on" instead of get dressed, and only giving one instuction at a time. Things have generally been easier with Dd3 than Dd1 because I have learnt never to give instructions which can be answered with "no" such as would you like to pop up stairs and brush your teeth LOL..
You are right it is hard work, damned hard work, but you can't give up can you, yesterday I felt like giving up but I can't. I didn't give up on Dd1 and she is quite lovely most of the time, still definatley on the spectrum but better, mind you she doesn't live at home anymore. She made me laff in the hols, Dd2 and 3 had been fighting all day [verbally] and she came round, she got fed up with them pretty quick and me complaining, suddenly she said " I was no trouble was I Mum". Well what could I say, Tom has a lot to answer for..

:) @" no trouble "

And nope you can't give up :)

Well.. We are doing really really well.. BT is coming again in a few weeks.. Is very impressed with how hard ds2 is trying.. But is going to be about to help with school, attend a school meeting with me ( bless her she doesn't have to).. And to give it time to go belly up ( fingers crossed it doesn't).
And keep doing what we are doing.

Well the evening is here and I've had time to mull things over ( gonna get a glass of wine in a minute!).

You know.. I am happy with today.. But I'm left feeling like I'm treading water... Gahhhh

should be used to it now .. Lol

Glad it went ok and great that BT is coming to school with you.
The trouble is things change so quickly don't they. Some behaviour stategies I have used seem to be working and then they are not. My Dd's are very good at goalpost moving.
Great that you are happy with today though.