problems at school

[sexybrunettemotherof5]

Ds (6) is due to start back at school tomorrow, and his behaviour the last couple of days has been absolutely horrendous. I asked him if anything was worrying him and he said that everything about school worries him. One of his main concerns is that he'd rather play/work on his own rather than with another child, but there's a couple of lads in his class who seem to want to play with ds all the time, so much so that they'll tell the teacher that ds won't play with them. Here lies the problem. Ds tells the teacher that he doesn't want to play with the others (or work with them) but the teacher is quite dismissive and tells him not to be silly and to play with the others. His teacher last year was the senco and aware of his problems, but still seemed to push for him to socialise with others even though it stresses him out. He has a different teacher this year, so not sure how that will go, and they have various different staff on playground duties. ds came up with this analogy tonight: "mum, say there was this guy who was a fascist, and then a police officer came over and agreed with the fascist, well you'd feel really annoyed wouldn't you?", and I DO totally get where he's coming from.

hing is, do I go into school and ask them that they allow ds to be on his own, or are the school right (and I'm thinking this is his senco's thinkiing)in that he needs to be pushed into socialising?

He was so upset tonight, it reminded me of every time he's at school - an angry, sad little boy. I've even considered just not sending him back, but that's not really possible as I have work tomorrow.

Any advice or opinions please?

ps. Sorry this is so rambly, my head is all over the place lately.

I raised this at a Tony Attwood conference (sorry to name-drop) and his advice was that my dd is socialising a great deal in the everyday classroom situation and for her (suspected AS) it is very hard work. If she is choosing not to socialise it is because she needs a rest and should be allowed to spend some time alone at break times. He pointed out that pushing her to socialise constantly could make her more likely to end up with additional mental health problems as she gets older. He urged me to tell the school very clearly that she should be allowed time out alone at lunchtime and playtime if that is what she would like.

HTH

I think I definitely need to go into school and have a chat with them. Thanks for your replies btw, much appreciated.

I will see how tomorrow goes first (I can't go in tomorrow anyway as I'm working), and if things are just the same as last year then I will go speak with the senco.

I like your suggestions starlight of the turntaking favourite activities, I shall mention that.

Thanks again.

great advice by starlight and alison. it's just the easy option for school, isn't it, sending him out at playtime on the basis that it's going to magically teach him social skills, but it needs more thought to it, so that it doesn't stress him out.