seclusion at playtime

[keepyourmouthshutox]

If a child is secluded at playtime, does the school have to tell the parents? When do they have to inform the parents? How much information do the parents have a right to have?

Similarly, any incidents eg. child hitting another, etc. does the parents have a right to know?

Generally if it general run-of-the-mill kids stuff then I wouldn't inform parents. Kids fall out constantly. Kids play rough and someone gets hurt - well, I wouldn't bother.

If it was serious then yes, undoubtedly. To me that would be deliberate and planned painful injuries to another child.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'secluded' though - put in a classroom on their own due to poor behaviour? If the kid was 'secluded' like that all the time then I imagine the parents would be informed.

does that help?

Hi,

I spoke to Luuk's 1-1 this morning just about that. He told e last night that another wee boy had hit hi in the face and knocked his glasses off for no reason. He has a home/school diary but there was nothing in there so I explained why it was important I knew.

Was told this wee boy has issues and has hit almost every child in the class - not good enough, sorry. I have every sympathy with him and his parents but I will not accept my child being assaulted for any reason whatsoever.

Hopefully that will be the end of it, but if it's not then goodness knows what I will need to do. If Luuk is going to be in class with a child who is known to be violent I will need to take him out. A kick to his abdomen has a very high risk of killing him and I'm not prepared to take that risk.!!Scary when other coplete strangers ae responsible for the well being and safety of your child ad don't think to inform you of things which have happened.
I have kept Luuk safe and alive for 5 years and if he is not protected at school I will be really angry
Hope things are ok now for your little one in school.

Sharon x

dont blame you sharon! (didnt know you were on here too!)

its always a akward one , one side of you understands but the other bit wants to protect .

Im same with ds he has been tagetted by boys with problems while i do understand im aware he is so passive he is a target .So i then point out to school if anything ahppens there responsiable and that they be failing both ds and the other child as he obviously needs more support

Sharon, I agree with you and therefore cannot understand why the parents in my ds's class never complain when he hits them. I think the school is not coping when that happens. I have complained when my dd got hit with a display weapon by someone with behavioural problem because the boy had a TA who should have been taking better care. My ds has been hitting other children and I think he should be moved to a special school but school thinks they are coping.

Sprinkle, my ds has been secluded at all playtimes for 6 weeks before end of last term. We were not told when it was decided, just in a letter, headmistress stated that it was happening and ds seems happier. They were applying for funding for 5 extra hours to cover breaks. He is alone in a playground near the staff room so he can talk to the teachers if he wants to. We worked out the time it started from when we had a emergency review meeting to ask for increased funding. We don't know when the seclusion will end. Do they need to tell ys?

hun i cant answer any of these things but hopefully 2m afternoon i can, my son got so upset at being given lunch money and i couldnt understand why, well i found out today, no-one will sit with him from the cafetria but if he goes pack lunch there is a girl that will sit with him, so he is getting packed lunch from now on, as for the hitting, we think he is being bullied scott says he is, but the school have the "not in my school" attitude but we find out if he has hit someone as there is a chart that goes from school to home which has a physical violence section, but we have never been told someone has hit scott yet scott has told us someone has hit him iykwim, sorry i cant help much xx nikita xx

Hi, just read this and it's actually made me really sad to think of your boy being all alone for playtime . Probably because my DS has just had probable diagnosis for ADHD and has a long history of impulsive "attacks" on other children so I'm very worried for him and the future at the moment.
Because I've always been highly embarrassed that he's hurt other children, I've not wanted school/ nursery to tell other parents who hit their child but now DS is at an age where his peers are able to tell their parent who hurt them!! So I guess I have to accept it now (at least I now know it is the impulsiveness and DS probably doesn't intend to do it....) But yes, that doesn't help someone who's in a situation like Sharon's.

I strongly feel that you should have been told that your boy was being excluded straight away though - and I have to say I find it uneccessarily harsh and very mean. The school need to manage it better IMO.

By the way, MummyO3 I have noticed your recent newbie posts as your DS may have ADHD (same here) and one thing I do know is that my DS gets the blame all the time - always has - and though there is no excuse for his bad behaviour, I am absloutely sure that he doesn't always "start it" and is provoked a lot of the time. Yet because he retaliates harder and tougher, he's the one who gets in trouble, not the "innocent looking" provoker. This is also a classic ADHD problem from what I gather - other children know they will get a good reaction from the ADHD child..... So Scott probably has been hit first I'm afraid........

sunnymum44 your post made me cry but yeah you hit the nail on the head there, its like you have said what i try to iykwim, i tried to send you a personal message but it says i cant, dont know how to use this site properlly yet tho xx

Oh sorry, didn't mean to make you cry ..... Your words just hit a chord with me as I'm finding out about all this stuff at the moment and feeling very sad about my boy.... Don't think I'm properly registered actually so sorry you couldn't send me a message. Good luck with everything you're going thru with diagnosis etc. x

aww no not in a bad way kinda like what you said about it hit a cord and im just finding out too dont have that much personal information iykwim, and in real life i dont know anyone else in the same situ iykwim hence joining here :) and good luck to you too :) xxxx

Actually (sorry about this hijack OP), MummyO3 - I just re-read my post and realised it might have sounded a bit harsh - when I said "Scott probably has been hit first" I didn't mean, yes he's being bullied - it's probably just that another child may poke/prod him and he will hit back harder (like my DS) so you get told he's the "hitter". Hope that makes sense.....

Whoops, overlap!!

(ditto sorry op for the hijack) sunnymum44 yeah i knew what you meant :) but its so true, and scott says he does get bullied, also when he finished up for school his nightmares stopped and back at school within 2days and they all started again there is loads thats happened and always seems to be the same 2 boys names that come up, i have spoke to the school with no luck so think i may speak to the parents myself and maybe try setting up some play dates possibly and get them friends than fighting iykwim x

Oh dear, it's really difficult when your child is hit or is the hitter isn't it. Brave you MummyO3, not sure I'd want to get my boy together on purpose with some of the other boys in his class!!

i think its more a case of im not sure what else will help and i thought if i got them on a nice level with each other maybe it would help as i have seen the way scott reacts when he sees the two boys but obv would need to speak to him first about it, and i know one of the wee boys have a very big fasincation with dps motorbike lol so could be a good starting point for them iykwim xx

Best of luck with it!

Hi Glittery,

Only just joined this site

tis very similar but with a lot more swearing!

Yeah you should hear her let rip on here *goes of to polish halo

When my ds was hitting in the playground I got nowhere with the school. Requests to seclude him, give more supervision or divert himinto other activities were fruitless. I ended up paying him for optional dance club which took care of one lunchtime doing an ABC chart and reward programme myself. Luckily the asd traits meant he tended to tell the truth about incidents.

I approached most of the parents to explain about the minor pokes causing meltdowns and asked them to tell me asap if their dc were hit so I could address it. I tailed him around the playground before & after school, intervening at the first sign of trouble and teaching him how to play without hitting. We banned most tv except super gentle stuff like peppa pig. We have ludicrously clear rules about how to respond to being taunted. It took about a year altogether.

I think you should speak very strongly to the head and consider raising this with the LA and governors. My programme would've worked much better and faster if the school had done it though. Delayed interventions are not nearly as good. And if there had been a vulnerable child exposed to his outbursts I would have been absolutely terrified that my ds was at risk of becoming a child-killer due to inadequate supervision and help for both children.