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Would you expect an apology for this?

24 replies

MannyMoeAndJack · 01/09/2010 14:43

My ds was taken out this morning for 3hrs' play with a worker from a special school - the school has a contract with SS and we are allocated so many hours per year.

Around about the time my ds was due back, I had a phone call to say that the play worker had somehow locked him in her car, together with her car-keys and mobile phone. She had asked a passerby for the use of their phone and had called the special school to ask for help. I was told two colleagues were en route to help (the Director of Services, no less, and the maintenance man).

Now the maintenance man seemed to think that he could ask my ds to unlock the car door himself and hence, let himself out. Er, no, my ds hs SLD.

Unhapppy with the situation, I independently called out the AA.

I waited 20mins, then called the two colleagues for an update. They had arrived at the park and were about to start looking for my ds. I was reassured that they would call me back when they found the car. I waited nearly 10mins (during which time I was imagining my ds hot and upset, etc), then called them back to be told that they were still looking for the car....this went on for another 5-10mins with me calling them for further information.

I called again and call was answered without the Director pf Services being aware IYSWIM (i.e. she pressed 'answer' inadvertently so I could hear what was going on but she wasn't aware of it). I heard her say, 'he's very hot' (twice) and then, 'I've had mum on the phone about 8 times' (in a really exasperated tone). The line then went dead so I called again and she answered properly this time. Oh she said the fire brigade is here and your ds's OK, a bit hot but he's lying on the back seat and seems OK'. She wanted me off the phone but I refused to ring off and asked her about smashing a window - given that my ds had been trapped for nearly an hour. I think they were about to contemplate doing this when the firemen got my ds out.

The Director of Services later called me back to say breezily that my ds had cooled down, had had a drink and a sit on the fire engine and that he'd be home soon.

Of course, I'm relieved that my ds is OK and apparently none the worse for his ordeal but at no point has one single person apologised to me for this cock-up. In addition, I was made to feel as though I was a complete inconvenience who was pestering for too much information!

Do you think I should write a letter/email about what has happened? Am I wrong to expect an apology?

Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:
genieinabottle · 01/09/2010 15:06

OMG!! your poor ds. I'm glad he is now ok.

You have absolutely reacted as expected from a concerned mum. And they should apologise for what has happened!
Go ahead with the letter, the way they handled things with you is out of order.

ShadeofViolet · 01/09/2010 15:08

You have every right to be upset, I would be livid. I would write a letter and ask for an apology - even if it only for the 'lessons learnt' effect.

silverfrog · 01/09/2010 15:09

you are in no way wrong to expect an apology.

yes, write a letter, stating what you have put here.

not only did this incident happen, but you were a) not kept fully informed, and b) it appears you were lied to (when they kept telling you they were trying to find the car, etc)

I would be livid.

did they take your ds for a check up at all? dehydration can be very serious (sorry, not to worry you, but it's not as though he can tell you if he isn't feeling well, is it?) I would have expected that at the least, after being locked in a shut car for an hour, rather than just giving him a drink.

and I would want an exact breakdown of how this happened in the first place, and why they spent so long dithering before actually doing something about it.

StarlightMcKenzie · 01/09/2010 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AdoraBelleDearhart · 01/09/2010 15:12

WTF!!!! How the hell should you react?
I would complain to who ever you need to.

Glad that your ds is ok tho.

MannyMoeAndJack · 01/09/2010 15:26

Thanks for all your replies and for making me feel justified for being so angry!

The play worker brought my ds back about 20mins ago and she had the maintenance man with her (not sure why - back up perhaps?!). I went outside to meet them and as she approached, she said she was 'really really sorry' which has somewhat mollified me but tbh I just looked at her and took my ds's bag and hand and brought him inside and shut the door without saying a word to her. I guess it was a silly mistake but even so.

I will write an email to the play worker's manager outlining my concerns. I will mention that I was totally responsible for obtaining all the updates, that nobody called me once to let me know what was happening, that I was made to feel as though I was phoning for updates too frequently and overall that I was made to be feel a bit of a nuisance. The maintenance man was so casual whenever I called for an update, like the whole thing was being blown out of proportion. And the Director of Services seemed to imply that the tour of the fire engine that the firemen gave my ds after his rescue somehow made up for his ordeal and that I should be thanking her for all her help, etc. I didn't.

Bloody incompetence, does my head in.

GRRRRRR

ds seems OK though, just ate a late lunch and has plenty to drink. Poor chap.

OP posts:
saintlydamemrsturnip · 01/09/2010 16:39

Omg - these things do happen but the response sounds shambolic. The aa or fire brigade should have been called immediately.

Al1son · 01/09/2010 16:55

After an hour in a hot car on a day like today I would have expected an ambulance to be called ready to check him over when he got out and the police to have been called to manage the situation and smash a window after the first few minutes. An hour is a ludicrous length of time to leave him in there. I would be livid and asking for an apology and an explanation as to why no medical attention was sought.

rebl · 01/09/2010 17:06

OMG Shock. I would be livid. An hour on a hot day is not good. I would have expected the window to be smashed.

SparkleRainbow · 01/09/2010 17:09

This is horrendous, I am glad he is ok, I think an apology is the minimum that you should be getting. How about spare car keys kept at the facility so this can never happened again! Shocking.

bullet234 · 01/09/2010 17:17

Don't let them fob you off. You had every right to be kept up to date with what was happening and for your ds to be given help quickly.

MannyMoeAndJack · 01/09/2010 17:31

Many thanks again for all your replies, it does help.

Yes, I got impression that there was no urgency attached to the situation and it was a piss-poor response, I realise now:

  1. play worker calls in for help to flag up what has happened just before 1pm

  2. maintenance man and DoS get into a car to drive over to the park (a good 20-25mins drive in traffic) to assist the play worker, with the maintenance man thinking he can ask ds to simply open the door from inside the car

  3. I ask the maintenance man (at 1.05pm) how sure he is of being able to open the car - a very casual reply, along the lines of 'I intend to do this, that, the other'. I'm not satisified so I tell him I'm calling the AA (call logged and in the system by 1.15pm)

  4. the maintenance man and DoS reach the park (approx. 1.25pm) but it takes them about 15mins to locate my ds (due to not knowing which car park to go to) but still no real concern is given

  5. I call for several updates as the maintenace man and DoS tour the carparks - treated like a pesky fly

  6. I finally learn (about 1.50pm) that my ds has been found and that at some point the fire brigade has been called and are trying to free my ds - they were getting to the point of smashing a window when they got the door open

I don't know at what point the fire brigade were called out but I know from my calling the AA it took almost 45mins for their patrol car to reach the scene (the call was given priority status too).

I do feel as though more urgency should've been given to the situation - it all felt a bit casual - but I think nobody really wanted to damage the worker's car until it was absolutely necessary.

Make of that what you will but the DoS called me an hour ago (having learnt, no doubt, of my silent treatment when my ds was dropped off), I missed the call so she left a voice message and - shock - she has come over all concerned and wanted to check that, 'both of you are OK'. First time she has shown any mind to how I am feeling!

What a fiasco but I think the saving grace comes from the fact that the play worker had the good sense/foresight/luck of the car parking spaces to park in the shade. It undoubtedly helped.

OP posts:
MannyMoeAndJack · 01/09/2010 17:34

sparkle - I like that idea about spare carkeys being kept at the special school; I will mention it when I write because it makes total sense to me.

OP posts:
5inthebed · 01/09/2010 17:37

Gad your DS is ok. Luckily she parked in the shade!

I would write a letter stating what you've said above. This needs to be looked at further, the AA or something similar shoud have been called straight away nver mind a maintainance man.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 01/09/2010 18:36

Reading one of your posts, it seems as if you think you might have made a mistake by not speaking to the playworker when she dropped your ds off - if that's the case, I would say that you probably did exactly the right thing - far better to say nothing than to get into a conversation when you were upset. Now you can write a calm letter, giving the details which you've (very calmly) given on here, and this will probably have a much better outcome for you.

I'm glad that your ds is OK, and I hope you are feeling OK too.

MannyMoeAndJack · 01/09/2010 18:52

SDTG, thanks for your post but no, I don't feel as though I made a mistake by not speaking to the worker - sorry if this is how my post reads.

You know, I've just chatted briefly to dh about what happened and I now feel really Sad for my ds because you see, this park where he was trapped is a good 20mins drive from our house so his worker must've loaded ds into the car about 12.40pm (at the latest) in order to allow enough time to get him back for 1pm. She obviously tried to unlock the car, failed, spent time finding a passerby with a mobile and then alerted the school - who called me just after 1pm. Thinking about that call, the first comment that was made was, 'oh I thought I'd call now because ds was due back at this time'.

God, that means my ds was stuck in a hot car for over well over an hour. I'm fuming all over again.

silverfrog - you mentioned about asking for a detailed breakdown of what exactly happened. Thank you for that, it is what I intend to do - let them explain in their own words.

OP posts:
Lougle · 01/09/2010 19:43

MannyMoeAndJack, that is very disturbing. Get it documented. Ask that it be recorded as a Serious Incident, too. I would also ask for their policy on incidents like this, and ask for them to give a detailed outline as to how the policy was followed in this situation.

MannyMoeAndJack · 01/09/2010 19:53

lougle, thanks for your post. My dh is already planning to ask for an incident report but I will tell him to request a Serious Incident report instead. Good idea about the policy too, will make sure we ask about it.

OP posts:
BialystockandBloom · 01/09/2010 20:29

God your poor ds, I really hope he wasn't too distressed by it. (How old is he?)

Appalling treatment of you during the whole debacle too.

Second the suggestion about ensuring it is written up as Serious Incident report - and yes, I would write too to make sure it is on record, and to ensure there is future policy.

I also think the very first thing they should have done is call the AA or fire brigade. You should actually never smash a window with someone in it because of glass dust (that's according to AA man who rescued my niece when my mum accidently locked her in her car once Hmm).

MannyMoeAndJack · 01/09/2010 20:48

Thanks Bia, ds is just over 7.5yrs but is non-verbal and cannot communicate much or understand much speech.

We are unsure who phoned the fire brigade or when but we're going to ask for full details and take it from there - but yes, I agree, they should've been called immediately rather than having the ruddy maintenance man come out!

Interesting about the glass dust because I'm pretty certain the firemen were just about to break a window when they somehow managed to open the car. Perhaps the fire brigade has some kind of special tool which breaks glass in a 'failsafe' (not shattering) way??

OP posts:
BialystockandBloom · 01/09/2010 21:29

Hmm, I don't know.

The AA man had some sort of suction cup thing which he stuck to the window, pulled it down a couple of inches so he could get his arm in and unlock the door.

I have to admit it "glass dust" did sound a bit improbable but I guess he knew what he was talking about!

starfishmummy · 01/09/2010 23:11

This could have been really nasty - I'd be expecting an apology as a minimum. If they dont seem to be taking it seriously (which they don't) then maybe you should contact your local councillor or MP and make sure it is thoroughly invesigated.

londongirl4 · 01/09/2010 23:13

This beggars belief- an apology is the least they can do :)

imahappycamper · 02/09/2010 09:43

Would make an interesting story for your local paper.

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