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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

need to off load and was recommended here

16 replies

MummyO3 · 31/08/2010 22:18

hiya girls, im nikita

i have scott who is 5 1/2 years old, we have been through quite a hard time with him for the last few years, he is currently being tested for adhd being seen by physcologist(sp) and a behavioural school, but the reason im here is i dont know where else to go tbh
when ds was about 3 he got ahold of knifes as he escaped over his baby gate, i woke up to find 1 at my head, 1 at my stomach(pregs with caoimhe) and 1 in rachaels cot(rach was at mil n fils that night) ... but scott wouldnt say anything about it, well the other day i woke up with scott on my bed and a cut on my arm, he was determined it wasnt him but there was nothing for me to hurt myself on iykwim, so ...dp found a steak knife hid in our room and found 2 hid in his room, so i confronted him tonight, told him i didnt want to give him in to trouble i just wanted the truth so he was honest and said
i lent over to cuddle him while he was on the bed(must have thot it was dp who was early shift) and that annoyed him so he went and got the knife and cut me he could have killed me Sad said he has thought loads about hurting me, he is 5 ffs, said he has never wanted to hurt dp or the girls like that...just me Sad i dont get what i have done so bad to him

so basically i dont know what to do anymore think i just need someone that understands me and how i am feeling, i kinda feel a little better just being here and off loading
thanks for reading
nikita x

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 31/08/2010 22:22

someone willbe along soon kita xx

Original poster
MummyO3 · 31/08/2010 22:23

thanks maisy moo xx

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 31/08/2010 22:23

Oooh, Nikita that is awful!

It's not your fault. Never think that. All you've done is love him and do your best that you could by him.

Your poor darling son needs help, and hope, hope, hopefully he will get it soon.

Lots of us here are really struggling with our childs behaviour. With a variety of different diagnosis.

You can always vent on here.

I guess the first thing to do is to make sure that all the knives are kept in a locked cupboard, and he just has absolutely no way to get one.

Original poster
MummyO3 · 31/08/2010 22:31

yeah they are all going into the filling cabinet as we have locks on our livingroom door and kitchen door as they dont affect in case of a fire iykwim, but he seems to be able to get in, everytime he finds a solution we stop it and he finds a new one, his biggest down fall can be he is too smart lol, i think i just feel bleugh if that makes sense, just exhausted, his behaviour has gotten so extreme recently, but i thought the kicking and puching and slapping and pinching was the worst it would get, and again that is all at me Sad i just dont understand anymore, he is my first born and my only son, we have 2 girls, rachael 2 and caoimhe 1. but i have never done anything except love him Sad and spoil him, maybe a little too much, but i just feel like im at the end of a blocked road iykwim and i dont have the strength to move the blockage out of the road, sorry if that sounds stupid. and thank you for your message,
hugs nikita aged 22.

OP posts:
Ineed2 · 31/08/2010 22:41

Feel for you but it sounds like you are already doing what I would have suggested. You will find the strength to get through this but you really need professional help. There are loads of people on here who wil give you great support, it's pretty quiet at the moment, I think a lot of people are on holiday. Or knackered because the kids are still off.

Original poster
MummyO3 · 31/08/2010 22:44

lol, i live in scotland so scott is now back at school, which is a welcomed break as it gives me some time with the girls again, im sure ill be back on here though even just with the few messages already i can see how supportive this place is incomparison to other mum sites i have used, so thank you maisy moo for the link hunni Smile
and thank you for your kind words x

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 31/08/2010 22:50

Kita, you are welcome and you know where I am if you need me. Told you before I am always here for you

Ineed2 · 31/08/2010 23:07

Stick around in special needs it can get a bit rough and tumble on some of the other forums.
Mind you if you are used to handling your lad they could be a walk in the park for you.

keepyourmouthshutox · 01/09/2010 01:51

I feel for you.

Ds psychologist said it is usually the mother that the aggression is directed towards, at least initially. Just saying that so you don't feel that you have done anything 'wrong'.

Spinkle · 01/09/2010 07:02

It's not unusual for mums to get the brunt of it - awful for you though.

How is he at school?

I think it may be the time to get a referral to a pyschologist - for your sake too - you must be worried.

StarlightMcKenzie · 01/09/2010 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
MummyO3 · 01/09/2010 12:44

i have southbank which is a child physcology unit they will do all assesments needed for him in there, from speech to behavioural, in his school we work with greenview, we meet with them every week to go over his behaviour, in school he will hit for no reason, and it was that he was worse at school but now its at home, and its me, thank you girls for the comments about its expected kinda thing for it to be me, kinda does make me feel a bit better Smile was just really worried that he hated me iykwim Sad but as for professional help we have everything thats on offer to us, we fought for a year before he got seen by southbank, he has his first play session on friday at southbank so hopefully that will reveal something lol maybe i am being too hopeful, just how he becomes an angel there then it looks like im stark raving mad lol, and sorry im rambling again, think my head is just trying to clear its self as the other forum i used i could never talk about scotts behaviour through fear of being judged iykwim, and girls, thank you again Grin

OP posts:
mariagoretti · 01/09/2010 13:19

NEVER let anyone judge you. Or ignore your concerns cos the behaviour is now worse at home than outside. Surely that shows that you made the right choice in transferrig him to specialist schooling. Blaming the parents is the easiest option for a lot of judgy-pants types... I think it just shows their own insecurity that they need to pick on SN families. Sadly young mums seem to get this multiplied. It sounds like you're doing an amazing job and you should be so proud of yourself for getting the help you have and for keeping all of your family safe and well for 5 1/2 years.

Original poster
MummyO3 · 01/09/2010 21:42

maria, hey hunni scott isnt in specialist schooling sorry thats my mistake for not making that clear, he is in mainstream but 2 workers from a specialist school to help us once a week. and can i just say your comment made me cry, thank you hunni means alot to hear im doing something right lol, and yeah i get such snotty looks from scotts school like stupid young mum Sad i hate it so much and when dp talks he gets a respectful response, he is only 26 so why so different its horrible, if they knew what i had been through with that little guy they should be kissing the ground i walk on lol, but seriously i havent had it easy with him but im still here im still his mummy and i still love him 100% i may not like his actions but i still love him iykwim, and thank you chick xxx

OP posts:
mariagoretti · 01/09/2010 23:36

Hey if the behavioural school can train his MS teachers enough to transform his education, well that is really fab. Your little guy must be smart and be putting in so much effort at school if he copes all day in mainstream. No wonder he falls apart afterwards.

Original poster
MummyO3 · 01/09/2010 23:44

very true hunni i suppose i never thought of that, the one thing everyone says about him is he is very smart and very capable, when he puts his mind to it, although he does spend most days outside the heads office doing his work Sad things this year seem to be easier as he is now in p2, and his p1 teacher was a total nightmare, she didnt work with us at all, but this year the school have 5 new teachers in, and scotts teacher is just out of uni Smile therefore more likely to do things by the book iykwim, simple things like she doesnt talk down to us as much as his old teacher and sees we are trying to do all we can to help and help them too iykiwm, also she fills out his behaviour sheet which his last teacher very rarely done for us which frustrated more as he earns quality time at home and pocket money, but his sheet ties in with the one at home because all his smileys for the day get added together, i do sometimes wonder though if a specialist school would be better suited for him Confused as even when he was in p1 he would attack p7's and not think about it, jump from very high things and not think about it, and they dont watch him carefully enough, also he has hurt alot of people in his school as a little girl he sits beside every day he stabs her with his pencil and pinches her etc Sad which i feel horrid for cause i know i wouldnt like it if scott was being hit/hurt by someone everyday Sad also he punches someone in the face at least 1/2 times a week Sad and again im rambling Blush
nikita xx

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