HT wants to tell classmates about Aspergers

[mumhadenough]

Hi All,

Just after some advice. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers in May and is about to be diagnosed with ADHD any week now.

His HT has mentioned a couple of times that she would like to explain to the class about DS's Aspergers,what it is, how it effects him that kind of thing.

We haven't yet told DS about his dx yet, we're holding off until the ADHD diagnosis as we can then deal with two birds with one stone if you like. Also I'm thinking we'll medicate him and and there's a chance that he might be a bit calmer and less extreme after that.

I'm just not so sure about telling his class mates. Yes, at the moment they def know he's different as he's quite mad and crazy and a bit "out there". However, I don't see any point in labelling him if he doesn't need to be. She might not even use the term "aspergers" as it would be fruitless.

They're all around 8 years old. I don't want him to be standing out any more than he already is, but of course if its beneficial to him that his peers know, then of course I'll let her tell them. In the same breath though he's getting quite annoyed with me at the moment for telling anyone anything about him. I.e. he had a few spots last week that looked like chicken pox and I was discussing it with friends and he was really angry lol.

Not quite sure what to do. Does anyone have experience of telling their dc's classmates?

Many thanks in advance. x

DS was dxd at age 9 with AS and he had a terrible time at ms primary. I think it would have really helped if his classmates had been told more about it - as long as it was done in the right way.

I think it's very positive that the HT wants to make other children aware of your son's issues. What kind of experience do they have in doing this? I've seen some booklets online which are aimed at this sort of class activity and I would insist on it being done in a structured way like that - not just a quick chat in front of the class. I'm sure the NAS can direct you to something similar.

The book 'Can I tell you about Aspergers' is also very good at describing AS traits to children of that age group (look it up on Amazon).

I think it's important that it's done in a way that benefits your child - i.e. that he's not going to be used as a 'show and tell AS/ADHD boy' for the class but so that the other children can learn how best to support him as a classmate.

Having said all of that - the decision to disclose must be down to you as a parent. I'm fairly sure that DPA rules would prevent the HT from telling anyone except necessary staff unless you give permission. So if you're sure that it wouldn't be right for your son, make it clear as you are within your rights to refuse.

This is the resource pack I was thinking of: Resource pack for school staff. There are guidelines for introducing the subject and activity sheets for all the class.

Would have been oh so useful for DS and his class if only the school had bothered to try to deal with his AS instead of focusing on containing his behaviour

Hi,

Thank you so much for your response, I'm just going to have a wee look at that now.

HT has made it really clear that she won't tell anyone anything without my permission. We've been so lucky that the school have been really really supportive, he gets so much leeway and extra help with things.

Thanks again!

Hi Pixie,

Thanks for your input.

My DS doesn't know himself yet!!!! He's knows he's different, just doesn't know why/how. We haven't told him as we're waiting till the dx of adhd so we can tell him both at the same time.

I'm not quite sure how