it breaks my heart

[jenk1]

DS has always been bullied at school and we couldnt understand why as teachers said he was very popular, since finding out he has AS we understand now but it still hurts, all this summer holidays ive had to either sit outside or watch from my window as DS continually gets bullied and picked on. He doesnt understand and says they are only playing a game-yeah the one that always ends up with him being hurt, what are our options not let him out or let him be continually picked on..dont know what to do for the best, he is in mainstream school and loves it but we had to take him out for 6 weeks earlier this year as he started self-harming due to being bullied, i just dont know what to do for the best.

jenk1 I know how heart breaking this can be. My 5 year old has ASD, and he's becoming the child that no-one wants to play with because of his strange behaviour. I've watched children at school and outside the home scream and shout at him because they enjoy watching his reaction, he covers his ears, and stamps his feet.
I've often wondered maybe if I explained to their parents that he has ASD whether they might ask their children to stop doing this, I'm not sure though if that will just make matters worse. Have you ever considered doing this?

Poor ds.

What was/is the school's attitude towards the bullying that happens/happened there?

More sympathy here. Ds1(5) school is pretty good at telling the difference between normal boisterous playground behaviour and the more vindictive sort. It didn't stop me feeling though when a child deliberately punched ds1 in the hand last term. His hands are about the only place he feels pain and I suspect that this particular child knew it. The one consolation was that the school realised what the child was up to.

i have mentioned this to a couple of mums on the street and they have been really good about it-but their children arent the ones who bully him. the main one is a boy 3 years older than him and when ever i knock on his mothers door she wont answer it and avoids me when she sees me, shes not the sort of woman who is very "motherly" anyway if u know what i mean, she leaves her son out all day and only gos looking for him when it gets dark at night. As regards school i too have stood and watched children pick on DS cos they love it when he gets angry and srats screaming, the teachers are aware of whats going on but their argument is theres so many children to keep watch over all the time. I tried home schooling him earlier this year but he wanted to go back to school and be with the kids i am just dreading the start of school next week.

That's such a cop-out on the part of the teachers! Is ds statemented or on School Action +? It sounds as though he really needs extra playground supervision. Grrrr!

coppertop, DS,s school is not that good, the head teacher doesnt seem to be able to control unruly pupils and when i took ds out of school for 6 weeks she didnt even bother to phone and see what the problem was, we dealt with the deputy head who was wonderful but she has retired now{sad}
On the plus side the psychologist phoned last week with ds test results and said he was writing to tell the school where DS difficulties are, on another note he said that ds is a very bright boy and scored 135out of a possible 140 on his IQ tests, dont really understand how all that works but psych said DS is frustratated and isnt being stimulated enough in class,but i could have told him that, ds school doesnt score high in the league tables and cant move him to another one as they are all full, think he will probably have to go to a school that has an autistic unit but still waiting for DS to finish being assesed before that can happen, they dont rush this assesment thing do they?

Speak to school again about it and mention the names of any children frequently invovled. Can they give him a playground buddy from an older year group?
My ds is in a unit attached to mainstream and the teachers often talk with the mainstream children about bullying and understanding the differnce between friendly messing around and when it oversteps the mark and becomes teasing and upsetting.
Good luck with the statement.

Jenk1-More sympathy from here. (My DS is 6 and has AS too-I think we have "spoken" before.)
It is just not good enough for the teachers to say they have so many children to look after-sounds like a terrible attitude on their part. He obviously needs extra support at break times.
My DSs school is not great as far as the AS is concerned, but they do seem to keep an eye on the bullying aspect, thank goodness. Hope you manage to sort things out for him soon.

My older son was bullied alot when he was younger he had dyslexia/dyspraxia & socially was a bit timid. He always lurked on the edge of a group and they would take the mickey out of him and fleece him out of his possessions. He would laugh it off which really annoyed me. I actively removed him by taking him off to the park, events,cubs and holiday schemes. Where he could be watched and the other kids supervised by an adult. This helped build his esteem and helped him find some good friends. You could also try picking out the ones you do like and invite them round to play.