Ds has started to damage things

[Claw3]

Ds3 6, ASD has started to damage things. For example ds 2 refused to go on the trampoline with ds3, so he smash the screen of his laptop.

Ds1 committed a similar misdemeanor and ds3 threw his ps3 controller out of the window.

He has also done things, such as flush some money i left on the side down the toilet, hidden mobile phones, ipods etc, etc.

He doesnt do these things in front of us, but once our backs are turned, he then denies doing it.

For the smashed PC screen, ds3 also has a laptop (to learn keyboard skills) so he had to give this to ds2.

For the ps3 controller (luckily it still worked) but he had to give some of his 'treasure' (he has a box where he keeps things from 2p to pencils etc) to ds1 to pay for the 'repair'.

Anyone else have this problem and how do you deal with it?

We,ve had curtain rails pulled down, bed slats broken, other peoples possesions broken etc etc over the years.

I don't know if it will work for you but what we did was firstly have rules written down ( they are in our kitchen).. With deffinate no nos on one side, on the other cosequences for them.

We also have an emotions ( how to recognise how your feeling) sheet, an anger volcano and a traffic light sheet ( where ds2 marks how he is feeling and can use the stratagies on the side of each colour to calm things down).

we use the scales of justice to visually show ds2 and talk about what has gone on ( well worth looking up).

These have all helped, but tbh if your back is turned and he denies it.. It's not going to help that much immediately.

The dc's also have toy boxes of their own and the rule is that only that person can go in these boxes.. Toys are shared but it is by invitation of the owner.

we use all of the above in conjunction with stop think act. ( when I feel mad and I have something in my hand.. I stop ( I put what is in my hand down).. Think ( go to the stratagies and pick one).. Act .. Use the
stratagy instead.

social stories may help..but it is a long long road ( but ds2 is learning .. He at 11 is much much better than be was).

Where we have made him ' pay' for damages as such.. we put that on a star chart.. X amount of stars shows how much he has paid off... On that sheet we work out together how much each thing given up is worth, or what nice things are worth... So it is written down for him to really get it and he remembers why he can't have somethings.

I can only say that we have completely similar behaviour with DD1.....I've tried everything...emotions stuff has worked a bit, as have star chart temporarily, but as THeARsenicCUpcake says it is a long road, esp with Social Stories...Good Luck