Would Social Story-ing help?

[3Trees]

Hi everyone...

Well, ds and I had a HUGELY challenging day yesterday. I am not sure what I could have done to make it better. (Maybe I couldn't. but it was one of our worst days in a while)

I took Ds to the BBC Children's Prom. he likes music, I thought he would enjoy it. He had seen the adverts on TV and knew he was going to see a concert, with music adn an orchestra, and SEEMED to be looking forward to it.

When we got there, he seemed OK. But then, it filled up with people, someone he didn't know sat next to him, the lights went up and down and changed colour, there was lots of joining in, so LOTS of loud clapping / stamping etc. The live orchestra too was a lot different from on tv, as I am sure you can imagine.

maybe it was just too much for him, sensory overload? he already asked me at the beginning if he could cover his ears if it was too loud, but as it went on, he just got more and more agitated. It began with endless questions about "what is next? Is this the last song? etc" it eventually degenerated into outright YELLING and SHOUTING and hitting out we had to leave.

I have seen other children his age get bored or fed up with being at something, but never seen or experienced anything quite like how this actually was. I am wondering if what I percieve as his "hypersensitiviy to sound" combined with the lighting effects and his uncertainty about what comes next (if we havea CD on, he cna only really listen to it if he knows how many tracks there are and what number the current one is) just mean that such a thing is unsuitable for him? or perhaps there is something I could have done?

The rest of teh day did not get much beter, as he was already struggling. I do, however, reccomend Harrods as a place for a child to meltdown. The staff could not have been nicer, and made us feel grateful, but NOT like bad people. THEY did a better job of getting us at least to the point where we could buy what we had gone in for and leave, without MORE screaming. OK they bribed him with chocolate strawberries, but they were so NICE, considering that he was screaming hysterically and lying on the floor of the food hall!

Well, who'd a thunk Harrods is the place for a meltdown?

I'm sorry it was so difficult for you both. It sounds like sensory overload to me. Just imagine all the sights and sounds to take in. Once my ds goes into panic mode it really is flight or fight and accumulates in a meltdown - this can last for hours until he's worked it out of his system.

Well, at least you tried and know that it is one of his difficulties. A social story might help. He may be able to deal with lower key events - open air concerts with an escape route might help. It may be something he'll never master.

If it's any consolation I went to see Avatar in 3D the other day and I got a visual overload and I had to 'shut down' to cope with it (no meltdown though)- and I'm NT (as far as I'm aware!) Gave me a bit of an insoght into ds' probs.

Thanks! it's so hard to try and see / hear / feel etc what he does.

The whole day just went completely after that.

It felt like EVERYTHING was too much / too difficult for him after leaving the concert. he wouldn't eat out (usually he is a fan of going to a "food shop" as he calls a restaurant) things he usually likes just made him cry even more.

I feel I may REALLY have to adjust my ideas about what children might enjoy.

(oh and i just wanted to add, we don't spend much time in Harrods usually, just christmas to see santa, but we needed a gift for our wedding planner in the USA - the staff there were totally awesome)

Ds is similar he has to have a start, a middle and an end. So for a day out, he likes to know beforehand, the order of what is going to happen. So a story story might help.

Sounds like sensory over-load, ds reacts in a different way to these kinds of experiences he 'freezes', bit like being in a trance. He cant deal with any extra input while he is in a trance, you cant touch him or talk to him otherwise he gets hysterical.

Cinema is ok, he sits totally still and in total silence. But when we leave he cannot remember anything about what he has just watched, so a bit like a light and sound show!

But pantomimes with all the shouting etc we have to leave. The one we went to squirted water into the audience and that was the final straw, he was hysterical and we had to leave.

Ive been doing a sensory diet with ds since December, so we may well try a panto this year again.

Harrods at least he has meltdowns in style

social story not story story!

Thoughts and tips...

Yesterday I was at Legoland with an old friend and her young lad on the autism spectrum. As I'm on the autism spectrum as well, we were a pretty good 'test team'! He could stand water being sprayed about during shows and lots of special effects, but I absolutely couldn't, and had to sit right at the back in a place where I could escape if needs be. They're very good at warning everyone, though, so at least we knew what was going to happen and could make a sensible choice.

What's it like? Imagine being in the front row of the loudest rock concert imaginable, right in front of the strobe lights, whilst standing in a vat of perfume in a room filled with bonfire smoke...and eyes and ears and senses that can't filter any of it out, ever. That's about it.

We can handle it for a while, then it just gets more and more and more exhausting and painful to sit through, until the exhaustion and pain is so great that we can't handle it.

When I'm overloaded, I need to sit somewhere quiet and dark in dead silence, with something wrapped round me so that I can feel the pressure from it and calm down. It works - much like unplugging everything from an overloaded electrical socket and re-setting the fuse on it.

The reason I need to know what's next all the time is so I can prepare myself for the sensory avalanche that's about to happen. No way would I have been able to go into Harrods after a panto/major show - I have to go home or to a quiet park for a while.

Hooray for the Harrods staff . I really fancy a choccy strawberry...

Amberlight, thank you so much for this, it's a really good insight.

I have shown it to DH too, and we are going to really try adn keep it in mind when we next plan things for ds.

We have used a social story for DS's first trip to the (children's) theatre, which went amazingly well (BUT it was only 45 minutes, and he knew the story already). The social story was basically pictures with: we go to this building, this building is a theatre, we go inside, we sit down, they switch the lights off, we go all quiet, they show us Goldilocks and the 3 bears, we clap, the lights go back on, we go out. All the steps laid out.

We got tickets for DS's first concert in February - seats near the aisle for escape if necessary...

Can I suggest writing to customer services at Harrods congratulating them on their amazing and totally unexpected compliance with the DDA? [then we can have a MN joint trip...

I emailed Harrods and told them how great we thought they were, what had happened how wonderful they were etc. The actually rang me back to thank me for letting them know, and to assure me that they would pass on the thanks to the right dept! I swear if I ever win / make MILLIONS, I will do ALL my shopping there!

LUCKILY I did have aisle tickets and we COULD and DID make an escape from the concert