Feeling horrible...

[3Trees]

Just based on the GPs throwaway comment, meant to be reassuring I'm sure...

"he looks just fine to me"

(admittedly this was immediately AFTER he dictated the letter referring him to community paediatrics for assessment for possible ASD issues)

BUT, I keep thinking, what if I am just making all this up? I KNOW his preschool triggered my concerns, and it is only that I have read a lot that I have spotted other things and realised he MIGHT NOT seem to act like other kids his age, but what if I just have read too much and he's just an oddball?

I don't know...

Don't worry about the what if's for now, just bear in mind that you have concerns right now and seeing the Community Paediatrician is not going to do anything to make those concerns worse. You have got to follow your instincts sometimes.
As for the GPs comment, I think he was meant to say "please don't worry your head about this" or something similarly reassuring!
There are so many of us in the same situation as you. ((HUGS)), I know how it feels, you swing from one extreme to the other! Some days DS1's behaviour really worries me, others I think he could grow up to be "normal". In the meantime, there are real concerns and you have to follow those doubts, kwim? xx

3Trees I'm not sure if this will cheer you up particularly, because I am seeing things from a different 'side' but hopefully it will still help.

There is not one person on this board who doesn't feel guilty about not having acted sooner, when flags were first raised but HCPs were fobbing them off. Not one.

Perhaps there is nothing at all to worry about with your ds, but you do not want to miss the opportunity of helping him if it is needed, as the earlier you get started the better his chances in life.

I suspect part of your difficulty now is that you desperately want to believe your GP and believe that this will all go away. Perhaps it will. I have no idea. But you don't want to take the risk. Trust me.

Try to be brave and follow this through. You don't have to accept any diagnosis when the time comes.

"he looks fine to me" - that sounds like my mum who only believes you have a problem if you look disabled.

Despite having 2 schools trying to get DS a statement, and 3 paeds agreeing he has Aspergers, I still often wonder if I'm imaginging the whole thing and he is fine - because he looks fine most of the time :)

I don't think any of these feelings ever go away with a hidden disability like ASD. Because, honestly, a lot of the time the kids do look fine.

GP's have no formal training on ASD so his comment is neither here nor there.

When we were going through ds2's DX I switched between thinking he did and he didn't have an ASD. It's normal. If you have any concerns about your DS, then definitely see the community paed. It's always best to get anything like this looked at, regardless of what some "professional" who has seen your DS for all of 5 minutes decides.

My HV had said DS2 couldn't have autism because he could tell the difference betwen hot and cold.

Thank you all. I know I am just working out all my little, insignificant worries on here, but tbh, it seems like a firendly, and helpful place to do so.

Yes, some days I think Why are we going through the assessment etc, he's "just fine" and other days, I can't imagine how he will ever manage in the world iyswim.

3trees imagine how much worse you would feel if you did not seek help and advice .And yes somedays i think ds3 will be fine others i just want to cry and hits me that ds probably wont be so undertsand the swing