Another day, another mum having a meltdown...

[SookieD]

I don't know if it's the weather or something but a lot of us seem to be really struggling at the moment?!

I'm having a total disaster time and am sharing because i need to get it off my chest.

My DS is almost three and is quad CP.He's lovely but very hard work. My MIL has been a life saver since I went back to work and have done most childcare while DH and I work.

I'm 8 months pregnant and have another 2 weeks of work before M/L. Having totally stessful time at work as a lot of pressure to finish things off at work before I go (mostly self-induced pressure it has to be said).

Two weeks ago we get phonecall from FIL to say MIL is very sick and they can no longer look after DS (with immediate effect).

Obviously not her fault at all and she will probably take a few months to feel better and although I knew we relied on them a lot I wasn't quite planning on having my life fall down around me at present.

Since there is no childcare, DH and I are 'working from home' days about to try and look after DS but very little getting done and poor DS having to put in front of TV for large chunks of the day because nothing else he can do to occupy himself and I'm having to work in evenings and at weekends to catch up.I know we're lucky we even have that option, plus I only have another couple of weeks.

Still, totally stressed out of our minds about the future, already so anxious about birth of next child and shattered.DS up during the night again too and DH starting to really crack with all the worry.

Typing this I feel better because I know so many are going through the exact same things but when you're in the situation, it's hard not to compare with your friends etc and realise just how different our lives are now.

Have a million things to chase up with various professionals as DS starting nursery shortly; got turned down for funding for trike on Thursday, and still waiting for result on DLA mobility claim (was hoping to have it all sorted to have new car when next bub arrived).

There, I feel better now I've got that off my chest.

Oh blimey you certainly have a lot on your plate!

I don't know if you could manage to but could take parental leave (for your son's needs with childcare not being available), you have 2 weeks left only, it's just whether or not you could afford two weeks unpaid I guess, and also if this would affect your maternity pay?? Not sure but worth looking into I think.

I know it's hard to do but you need to stop worrying about ticking all your work tasks off your list before you finish. Are you employers aware of your current situation?

I understand you feeling overwhelmed, I think we all do - it's not you, you are doing the best you can under tough circumstances. If you can slot in 10mins where you all sit with a drink and just relax, not worry or stress, etc a small mental and emotional break helps I find.

Thanks. Yep it's the money thing that's causing the problem - need to work as long as possible to get the paypacket we had planned on. It's always the money isn't it!

Can't tell work about the latest setback because then they'd twig that I'm skiving while at home (oh what a tangled web and all that...)

many sympathies, obviously not the best time for childcare arrangements to go tits up.

since starting ML two weeks early isn't an option, start to delegate. there must be some of your work that you can do a list of instructions for rather than actually do in preparation for handover. In fact, when do you plan to stop work rather than prepare for handover?

im thinking if you can find the time you might need to go for a coffee and a wee cake Sookie

Do you have local carer centre or similar? There is something called DCATCH which is a government scheme regarding childcare for disabled children and the difficulties that entails check out the link and see if it would work for you.

It sounds like you are having a hugely difficult time at the moment. I sympathise especially with the comment about putting your DS in front of the telly for entertainment as he can't entertain himself otherwise - I find myself doing this far too often and although DS is perfectly happy about it I feel massively guilty whenever I do!

I know it is not really for me to say but please try to take some of the pressure off yourself re work as your and your family's health are much more important at the moment and you really need to be winding down in these last couple of weeks! At least it is only a couple of weeks and then at least there is one less thing for you to worry about.

I guess the first weeks/months with a newborn and DS are going to be challenging to say the least but my thoughts (in contemplating trying for number 2) are that although it might be a nightmare in the beginning, all the NT babies I have come across have been infinitely more easy going and easy to entertain than my DS (with CP) and also they get to a point maybe by 6 months where they can actually play by themselves a bit. So it must get easier at that point - also it will be fantastic for your DS to have a little brother or sister and maybe in a few years time they will actually be able to play with him and take a bit of the pressure off you! xxx

is there a local Child minder who could help or a playscheme for next week?

Sookie, where are you? Can I help with Childcare?? I know you don't know me but I'm willing to help if you are nearby.