can anybody help

[pinkchoccy]

my gs is 3 years old and he lives with us permanently as we have special gaurdianship of him. Which basically is the same as adoption and so is part of our family as our own child. His father is my son of 20 years and his Mum has lots of problems and has no contact with him. On the Mum's side of the family all her siblings were taken into care. They all have been problems.

i am at the moment having problems of really bad temper tantrums which include kicking, punching and nipping. This is usually for simple things like him wanting to change his clothes like literally lots and lots of times a day. he likes to watch films on tv and becomes their characters to the extreme. he knows the words and the accents perfectly. I went to the dentist the other day and as soon as he entered the waiting room he screamed uncontrollably because the toys had gone. He questioned the dentist as regards to this. If I take him to play areas I have to watch him for hitting other children. I am finding it very difficult to take him to public places as he has everybody looking because if he wants something his way he becomes extremely loud, even shouting at people. I am finding this hard to describe really because he is a lovely little boy with a lot of character. I just find it very difficult to get through to him even though he seems very bright. He can almost write his name, draws picture people really well and remembers his ABC. He seems to have a very good memory. He remembers every slight detail. I don't feel that he is being naughty. He seems to distress himself very easily.

You are clearly worried, and therefore you should ask your GP for a referral to a peadetrician.

He may or may not have SN - but the only way to find out is to start talking to the proffessionals.

Good luck.

thank you indigobell, for example at tea time he is upset if he doesn't sit on his chair, uses a certain spoon, dish. Cries because I ripped the yoghurt lid and it wasn't whole. Just wonderd if anybody has had any similar experiences.

I would definitely request a referral to a paediatrician. He sounds as if he might be on the autistic spectrum but only a professional can diagnose this and provide the relevant help and advice. Make sure you tell the paediatrician what you have posted here.
Good Luck.

thanks for your replies

this sounds like my 3 yr,9mth old.hes currently seeing hospital consultant who thinks likely asd,awaiting now for him to be seen by community peaditrtion for proper diagnosis x

It seems worse though if I visit my Mum for example it looks like he just cannot behave well and I feel like I am incompetent. So I have got to a point where I completely avoid public places.

I can empathise with that horrible incompetant feeling when conventional parenting does not seem to work. I still avoid public places with ds, now 10 - although perhaps now it is more choosing the best time and balancing ds difficulties with not liking change with forwarnings etc. Ds (who has asd adhd and ld) has mellowed through the years. Understanding why your GS gets distressed may help. He may be hitting out because he feels stressed when others get too close or it maybe that he does not understand that that hitting hurts the victim even if the hitting does not hurt his hand. I agree the first thing is developmental assessment.
Sending a (hug)

Thank you magso