Toilet-training and possibleASD

[Helen2boys]

OK, so I am being patient with my DS (3y10m) and following the paediatrician's advice, to keep him in pull-ups and try to build toilet trips into his routine. I'm trying, gently persuading every day. I'm just so disheartened because it has been weeks and weeks since I have managed to get him to even SIT on the toilet. He does everything else, the flushing, washing his hands but not the vital component! In the past he has done, not consistently, but he has done, and he's done wee's and poo's on the toilet. I feel like he will never, ever get there and I feel so down about it. I feel like it is my failure. Anyone else?

Yep I am in a similar boat with ds 3.4 (probably asd, no dx yet).

But you're way ahead of me that your ds has actually ever a) sat on the loo, and b) done something in it. Mine will sit on a potty (for a bribe treat) but absolutely refuses to sit on the loo. And only managed a wee twice on the potty, which was incidental as he didn't actually mean to do it (or even know he'd done it perhaps), just happened to coincide with him sitting there playing with iphone.

It is absolutely not because of a failing on your part.

I've seen a book on toilet training and ASD, if I buy it I'll post any tips. I think there's a recent thread here on toilet training/ASD too.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're not on your own.

I did not find any real magic answer other than 'later and longer' - and wee and poo had to be done separately with the second issue taking much much longer. I honestly thought he would never do it but we are pretty much there now - He is 6 - I hope that is not too depressing !!!!

Bialy... thank you! xx I think that's all I needed to hear really, that I'm not alone. I know I'm not a failure, but this does all feel like I somehow haven't done enough for him, even though I KNOW I have.... makes no sense does it? lol
I felt a bit embarrassed after posting as I know so many Mums on this board deal with worse.
Typical of my DS's development and progress in anything is that, if he has managed to do something once, it doesn't necessarily mean he will ever do it again. I have had 5 proper attempts at potty training, each time persisting and persisting for weeks until deciding he just ain't ready. Will he ever be ready?
Think I know the book you've mentioned and was contemplating buying it myself.

willowcat - No, not too depressing to hear that your DS is 6 and finally there. I just want to know that he will get there at all! Later and longer - so true. Thanks.

I was on last thread. DD just dx ASD, had many issues....took several attempts, constipation, infection etc. Your definately not a failure...it just takes longer. We kept trying every few months for daytime pants, she did it when she was ready. She is almost 5, was in pants for past year but due to stress of school change is now wetting again, day and night. We havent gone back to pullups....yet but may?? She had anxiety about toilets due to the seat breaking and trapping her leg...only just using a toilet and not the potty again. Hates public loos...hand dryers!

Chin up, your doing everything right, give it a break if you need too, take the pressure off...try again later. Your not on your own as Bialystockandbloom said. xxx

woolytree - where is that other thread? we should BUMP it!
Hand dryers! My DS is getting better with them but has generally been petrified by them.