Three year ols speech

[2boysnamedR]

Hi I have just posted this in the behaviour / development / parenting forum but it was suggested I added my post here too for any advice any one can give me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1022625-3-years-old-speech

I have a son who is turning three in two months time. He is still not talking ? he maybe has 50 words now. He started talking at a normal age 1 ? 1.5 but only picks up 1 ? 2 new words a month. He is a quite and shy child but he is very loving and likes the company of other children. He does have problems with communication which affects his ability to make friends but he wants to be sociable. I have seen a paediatrician, after months and months of telling my health visitor I was worried about his development. The paediatrician says he is just slow and she did not seem too concerned (we did think he may have been in the aspersers spectrum range as this was mentioned earlier by my health visitor).

I keep on being told he will pick up and one day just start to talk. When I sit and do educational play with him ? like flash cards he does not know what a duck is, or a pig, cow etc.

Is this really totally normal for a three year old? When do I start to worry? My health visitor is no help ? the only route left open to me to express concern is with my follow up appointment with the paediatrician in September. I have been on a waiting list for speech therapy for 8 months. I chased this with my health visitor ? she is aware and keeps on telling me the speech therapist is way behind ? it is normal to wait a year to see someone. I have completely lost faith in my health visitor now. I think they are under so much pressure they can only concentrate with the children that are in danger of abuse / neglect. As I look after my son ? therefore he is off her radar.

Thanks

Hi
In answer to how long to see a SALT, my sister is a SALT, she used to work in paediatric community work. At the time her waiting list was 2 years, her dept was very understaffed but they also weren't actively recruiting to do anything about it .

I have 3 DSs, the first is probable Aspergers - he talked early but oddly. The second was a late talker - he didn't say a single word before he was 2, however by the time he was 3 I think he probably knew more than 50words. Actually I am sure he did because by about 2.5 he started catching up, so by 3 he was pretty ok. The third was also an early talker.

I see from your other thread that your LO does follow instructions, in general that is a good sign that they are understanding language - my second son would not have done a lot of those things at 2.5, but now he does, I think my middle son was a little slow at the beginning, but did catch up. Not to say that your son doesn't have a problem, as I don't know that DS2 is actually ok yet. He has some HFA type symptoms and if DS1 is found to have AS I may push to have DS2 tested too. In my experience your DS does sound a bit behind, but not sure if it would fall within the boundaries of 'normal' which can be quite wide. for eg it surprised me to find out that children are only expected to know 4 colours by age 4. All NT children I have come across in the playgroup I help out at have known that many a lot younger.

Regarding the flash cards, my kids weren't really into looking at flash cards and naming them. They would much rather be out seeing the things for real - don't know if that is just my kids though!

If it were me I WOULD be stressing my concerns in the follow up appointment. I tend to find it best to write things down so that I don't forget them, and if they say they are out of time you can always leave them a copy then too.

Hopefully you will get some more helpful answers soon :)

Thanks. Its so hard to say if he is 'normal' I feel like I have no idea what normal is anymore. If for example I could take 15 children I know born in same few months as him then he does not compair to any of them. He is a long way behind. I will find my notes from my last meeting with the pead and write up some new notes for our next meeting and phone to ensure that meeting is still going ahead in September. I think it is so anoying the NHS do not have the staff to cover thier work. I wonder sometimes what is the point of having health visitors then? The first time I really need help I get left out in the cold.

Thanks again

No this is absolutely not "normal" for nearly three, though he may go on to have excellent language and communications skills in later childhood.

He is going to need help and nobody is going to give it to him but you. It's not time to worry, it's absolutely time to act. The NHS tends to ignore children until they are three then suddenly announce there is a problem at 3.1.

Recommendations:

1. buy It Takes Two to Talk: published by Hanen, very expensive but worth ten times the price, this will show you how to use better techniques (flash cards are probably not the way forward right now).

1. Consider putting lots of photos of common events in his life on the wall. Carry a camera/your phone. He is likely to be better able to learn using these visuals

1. Order the DVD "Teach me to listen and obey" volume 1 from www.ittakestwototalk.com

1. assuming you've had his hearing tested, think about whether he may be processing what he hears in an uneven manner. Is he oversensitive to droning noises, for instance?

1. Keep talking, keep posting, keep bumping this thread. I hope to leave this forum because my son is now nearly 5 and we have overcome most of his difficulties, but there are many people around who've been where you are.

1. The whole aspergers/hfa thing is good to explore but it can all get a bit academic. What really matters is: can he communicate? why not? what is stopping him? what can we do about it?

Unfortunately I think you are correct to be concerned - at 2 you would expect him to be putting together 2 word phrases at least (mummy go/got car) etc and to have a larger vocabulary.

firstly - you will probably find once he hits 3 the professionals will stop being so laissez faire, as 3 is a bit of a watershed age - that the children who are just late talkers who will catch up without intervention usually do so by 36 months.

have just had a look at your other thread. google your local PCT, they will have contact details for SALT dept, and phone them yourself to find out situation re:waiting list. If they prove as unhelpful as HV has indicated, put in a complaint.

Phone up the local audiology department, and find out if you can self-refer. It's important you get a hearing test done, to rule out whether there's an obvious cause for any speech delay.

also look for information about ASD assessment in your area, and see what the usual procedure is. Im afraid when it comes to getting the right therapies etc for your child, you can only 100% rely on yourself to make the effort to make the phone calls and chase things up.

If you are at home in the day, some surestart centres run courses to help you help your child with language. they aren't as good as salt department run courses, but can be very helpful whilst on the waiting list. agree with advice on the other thread about looking at a private salt assessment unless NHS appointment is imminent.

SALT, however good quality, isn't a magic bullet. be prepared to put in a lot of work yourself. but also take comfort that once you are set on the right path as to what level your child is at and what to do next, there's a lot you can do for him.

useful books and websites:
1)you make the difference and/or it takes two to talk by Ayola Manolson. these are practical workbooks which give useful advice on helping your child communicate and talk

2)parent's guide to speech and language problems by debbie feit

3)baby talk by sally ward

www.hanen.org.uk
www.ican.org.uk
www.afasic.org.uk
www.teachmetotalk.com

What brilliant advice! Wish I had read all this months ago. The books look great only the "Takes two to talk" seems like it's out of print. Worth checking ou local libraries for that one.
2boys, I will second the advice of a PP that you should find out who you have been referred to and get on with nicely and regularly giving them a phone call, just to get your LO at the top of the pile. I've learnt it's well worth it. You will easily slip through the net, unfortunately.
To give you an idea of timescale for us : My DS is 4 in October and from raising concerns with HV last October, he was seen by a SALT in November then treatment started in Feb and continued until quite recently. Next is his assessment for ASD.
The one thing I have learnt and it's so, so true : no matter what help or support you access, you can expect to be the main one doing the therapy with your child. Waiting isn't an option. I am finding that progress is very slow and I just feel like I should be doing more and more even thought I am already doing all I can. I can empathise thiat this is a very worrying time for you. ((HUGS))

sorry - there are 2 editions of It Takes Two To Talk - one under author Ayola Manolson, the other, newer one under author Weitzmann/Pepper. There's not much difference between the two, either will do. Don't look on amazon - look on ebay or WInslow publications. It's pricey but worth it. The other Manolson book, you make the difference, isn't as detailed but is a lot cheaper.

Thanks for all the advice ladies. Today I decided I would phone the SALT department in the hospital and ask where I was on the list. There was no one there so I left a message thinking I would not hear from them again. They called back 30 minutes later telling me he was top of the list and did I want to come in next Monday!! So I think they had either forgotten him or the phone call made them pull thier finger out - either way I am so happy!

Thank you again - I wish I had called sooner and not just trusted them to be booking it

Good news :)