'Friend' thinks SN kids

[justunbelievable]

should be segregated from 'normal' kids and not attend mainstream schools! Her reason for this is that she believes too much time is spent on SN children and 'normal' children like her own suffer because they don't get enough attention. She also thinks that a lot of parents want their children to get statements so that they can claim extra benefits. She knows that my ds has problems at school but not to what extent although has been diggging around to try to find out. I was wary of giving her too much information as still awaiting dx and am glad I haven't now. She is clearly beyond ignorant and is now an ex-friend after 20+ years.
I am very much a regular here but have name-changed due to RL snooping.

she's a pig ignorant bitch

lot of it about

an ex-friend of mine sat on my sofa two weeks after ds1 was diagnosed with Aspergers and told me she didn't choose our primary school because there were "too many sn kids", and also - and I quote- "9 times out of 19 sn just means thick kids and lousy parents"

sadly she's not the only one who thinks like that although sounds like you'll be better off without "friends" like that!

9 times out of 10, not 19

although it would still have been bollocks

Good friend of mine looked at the SATS statistics for our primary and said, 'Bloody hell, 60% special needs kids and 10% statemented! No wonder their results are low.'

Had to point out that:
--they weren't low, they were well above average
--60% meant, in fact, 6 kids that year, and the 10% statemented meant, errm, my one
--who had just got level 5s across the board

Friend is still a friend but a rather pink in the face one.

This is an incredibly sensitive subject for me right now, as I'm deliberating where to send my ASD DS1 to school next year, and am horrified to think that wherever he ends up there may well be other mothers viewing him as an unwelcome drain on resources. But is ignorance like this really worth ending a 20yr friendship over? Especially if you haven't explained why and how her words were offensive and given her the chance to rethink. I have ditched (and been ditched by) friends since my son's diagnosis last year but I would give someone a chance unless the rest of their friendship was worthless. I do try and put myself in the shoes of a mother who has never experienced SN and tbh I can see why they would be worried for their own children's needs if they have no experience of the reality. I don't think it's necessarily malicious, just thoughtless and uneducated.

Cerys - I see your point but unfortunately she is not wanting to understand another pov about this. DH did discuss this with her as I was not in room at the point this comment was made. She would not consider any view different to her own. Recently we saw her again and she was making little digs about ds all evening then ended up screaming and shouting at him over a minor issue. We got our coats and left. She clearly has a problem with ds and tbh we don't want someone like that around him as he has enough anxieties to deal with.

Well when you put it like that...ditch the bitch, no question. She's obviously turned toxic and I wouldn't want her anywhere near me or my family