It's the little things...

[LollipopViolet]

That really get on my nerves! I've just spent the weekend with a group of friends, all of us have some form of disability. 3 of the 6 members of our group use wheelchairs. We went for a meal last night, and when we were waiting to be seated, one member of staff said to another "Right, we've got 3 people and 3 wheelchairs." I didn't say anything because we're not that kind of group, don't like drawing attention to ourselves but that comment made all of us fume! I kinda wish I had said something now.

That's a really common theme I've found, referring to H, or any of the 3 girls, as simply "wheelchairs". Not "wheelchair users" or even "guests in wheelchairs". Just "wheelchairs". Makes me really angry but I might be over-reacting. What do you all think?

Then had a member of staff at the bowling alley, set up the ramps we needed, then step back and have a good old stare. Like he'd never seen anything like it. He was there for about 5 minutes after we were all set to bowl.

Now, that I can kind of understand as we are a large group really, add to that the fact that I was the only one in bowling shoes (2 of my friends can walk, but one has to wear splints so has custom shoes for them, and another friend has a prosthetic leg and had heels on, so had the wrong leg for flat shoes IYSWIM?). But really, staring is a bit rude, is it not?

Sorry, I'm rambling here, I just seem to have seen things this weekend that I've not come across before and only just realized how it makes me feel. I'm probably over-reacting so feel free to ignore or tell me to shut up :)

No, you're right it's rude. Ignorance rather than intentional, but still not OK.
How you respond depends on the person you are and what you are comfortable with. I'm a middle-aged female with little sense of embarrassment, a disapproving teacher stare and a voice to go with it.
So I'd have pointed out what he'd done wrong, and repeated my point and my objections clearly and calmly until I was sure he understood.
I am also given to elaborate flourishing bows if someone is gawking at me and mine.
I would quite understand if that wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but it does seem to shame people into considering the appropriateness of their response.
Even if it's 'Don't piss off the crazy woman'

My guess is they meant for a table; so six, three chairs and three wheelchair spaces.
And the staring may well have been badly displayed desire to seem helpful.

But absolutely was put in a ridicu,ous manner and yes, offensive even if not intentional.

True, I think it was in reference to a table, still an odd way of putting it though! i think I'm prone to being annoyed because not only am I friends with a lot of people with various disabilities, my uncle is a tetraplegic and has been since before I was born, and because my family (mum, grandparents and uncle) all live together I've always known there are right and wrong things to say!

I'm a quite shy 20 year old so I prefer either a proper, calm conversation if the situation warrants it, some, like the ones above, can just be chalked up to poor awareness, OR a death stare if I catch someone gawping at us!