SO FRUSTRATED I want to shout at my toddler - speech - anyone recommend a therapist in London?

[Gilliana1]

Sorry if I have to let off some steam here. I'm so frustrated with my 21 month toddler (bless her .. not her fault.. but it is getting to me). She has never spoken a word that we recognise. She babbles and she says Hello (well we know it is hello but she says "Adoo"). So my day is spent being led around the house by her and she points to what she wants and I guess. If I guess wrong she throws herself on the floor and tantrums until I guess right. If I'm busy and won't let her lead me she tantrums. I try naming things until I am blue in the face, I say 'do you want an apple, ok, an apple, just ask ummy for apple' etc etc.

I think we need help. I'm on the NHS waiting list to see a speech therapist but they say that the waiting list is big and we won't see anyone until 2011. I'm so frustrated and tearful about it all to be honest. Am home alone with her and now when I take her to all the toddler groups people keep commenting that she doesn't speak any words and I find myself lying about her age.

Can anyone recommend a good speeech therapist in London (South East? or Central?). I've done some web research but not sure what I should be looking for. Also, I just know she won't even babble if new person in the room as she is VERY clingy and shy.

I can recommend Annalou Law. She is on Harley Street and excellent. Also, not to be am alarmist, but I would recommend an appointment with Daphne Keene to rule out any other pervasive developmental disorder. She is an NHS consultant bit sees private patients as well. All the best.

sorry the appointment wasn't exactly reassuring. I will reiterate what other posters have said - well done for getting on top of this and sorting out help so quickly, it's so easy to be fobbed off by the NHS unfortunately.

Gilliana,
You're so not alone, I remember saying the exact same things as you when my DS had his hearing assessments. That I hoped they could identify a problem there that was fixable!
Just to give you some of the things I have picked up from SALT with my son (who's 3y10m, btw) and which have helpe to
a. keep him calm,
b. build his confidence and therefore
c. start to (slowly! and with a long long way to go still) ensure some progress with his speech and language.:
For one thing, talking is only a minor part of the way humans communicate with each other. Your DD has identified a reliable way of getting what she wants from you and she feels successful with that. Let her lead you by the hand to what she wants if that's what she feels comfortable with. My DS will often lead me into the toy room and point my hand towards the shelf and I'll say "lego? jigsaw?" until it's clear what he wants. It used to frustrate me, now I realise it is a very positive means of communication. She is probably doing all kinds of other things to communicate to you, that you are not conscious of but are resopnding to. For example, clinging on to you is a physical way of telling you she needs you and you make her feel safe. She is still very little, I would show her you value all those forms of communication and "label" what she is doing / indicating, but with very simple language.
As for the possibility of ASD, it is a frightening prospect, I know. All you can do for now is take one day at a time, you're already doing the right thing by getting a SALT involved. It's also frightening that there is such a waiting list..... glad you got seen tho and that you got a hearing test lined up so quickly.
Hope I've said something useful here!

Honestly, once you take the pressure off and stop feling frustrated, you will see a difference. I'm not saying she will be talking overnight, but you will sense her confidence grow in readiness.

Have you considered makaton. It is very straightforward and apparently helps all children with speaking, not only those with delays.

Thanks for all the advice. Am utterly convinced that hearing tests later will show up nothing is wrong. I can whisper or shout.. she still only takes notice when she wants to!

Makaton is a good idea.. but she has zero attention span and won't make eye contact.. so not sure how we would teach her. I can see we are on the start of a very long (and frightening) journey. I'm now appreciating the hand leading though.. as otherwise we would have no communication at all.

Hi Gilliana,

Your DD sounds a lot like my DS at that age. It very frustrating and very hard. As others have said, I would allow the leading to continue but try and encourage other forms of communication as well. Pointing would be a start. PECS and something like Makaton or Signalong (both developed especially for children) would be really good. Or try your own signs.

DS is nearly 6 now and although he stills has no real speech, his communication is excellant and it is much less frustrating for both of us.

Well I am back from the appointment. Am even more mind blown now. Turns out she couldnt hear any high frequency sounds on the tests...

We have to go for more testing, but they said she needs a hearing aid. Suddenly an ASD is sounding better. I'm going to post a new topic.. as I'd like to try and get some help/advice from anyone else that has had this. Am really sad and worried.

I posted some time ago and got some great advice. Turns out, after more testing my daughters hearing is normal. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster... when we were told it was her hearing I was almost relieved that we knew the route of the problem.

Now feeling all alone with the problem, discharged from the hospital hearing unit, but still with a FRUSTRATED toddler. The talking has made no more progress... A LOT of babbling with earnest but no words we can pick out or recognise. For example, bye bye. My daughter says bye-bye to everything.. toys, people in the street, trees... you name it. But she says 'Deaaa' for bye bye and I say Bye Bye SO much. It just does not seem to sink into her that she is not saying it right.

Could it be part of her brain not processing sound to speech? Or what else? Any advice on what I should do next would be great... I don't want to not do something now when I can... I'm scared the months will just tick past with tantrum after tantrum and it isn't helping my sanity or my daughters relationship with me.

So sorry things are difficult gilliana .

I guess it could be a problem with the way your daughter is processing the speech input, or a problem with how she is putting together her own speech.

Have you got an appointment with the speech therapist who recommended hearing tests coming up?

The way to start the ball rolling is to get your doctor/health visitor to refer you to a community or developmental paediatrician.

They might fob you off as your daughter is very young so you will have to be firm.

if they are resistant or if the list is very long then you could go private.

also read two books:

Hanen - it takes two to talk - this will give you some excellent ideas on how to build on the already quite nicely established communication you havr

Stanely Greenspan - the special needs child - how to foster creative and intellectual development

I was recomended both by people on this board but only recently got round to reading the second and it has completely empowered me to work with my son. This is a good thing as although he has had SALT and some OT we have had no training on how to work with him ourselves as we were too late to get portage (ds was 3 before we got our heads out of the sand so hats off to you!)

That reminds me you can also self-refer to Portage (sort of play therapy done in your home by a trained person). the number to contact will be buried somewhere in children's services on your Council's website.

On the hearing thing, 2 separate tests with different diagnosis sounds strange. What did they test and how ? I only ask as my dd has an unusual hearing condition and it takes a good audiologist to notice it. The NDCS also has a section on its website on auditory processing and you can call their helplines, they are excellent.

Gilliana, I think from what you've said the speech therapy will be key so persevere with getting an appointment. Her speech sounds a bit like my ds who was recently diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia. He had no words until age 2 and then his speech was very unclear. It is still unclear at nearly 3 and he is having regular speech therapy, but with verbal dyspraxia there is no quick fix.

My son also says things which we recognise e.g hello is 'shaloo', but which others would not. So while you may be saying 'bye bye' a lot it does not necessrily make it easier for her to say it because if she did have something like dyspraxia it is all about the inability to coordinate the muscles in the mouth, tongue, lips etc.

Hi Giliana have e-mailed you separately, but wanted to post here to Blakeney (and to you also if it turns out that your child has verbal dyspraxia) that there is a policy review taking place at the moment about what services should be provided in London for children with verbal dysrpaxia (mine has verbal dyspraxia and so far has had one block of 12 sessions a year and a half after we requested them) - whereas kids with severe verbal dyspraxia need intensive extremely regular (in US they give them four or more times a week) speech therapy targetting speech production not language to progress) - if you're interested in participating in it to try to push for intensive services for your child then it is being organised by
John Levy 07974 440969. Or CAT me and I can give you details. Thanks