GOODBYE

[kerry0115]

feel ive got post i found out 2 days ago its highly likely my 3 yr old has asd,im feeling sensetive as i take it all in (even though its something i thought he had).i posted on here about having put him bk in nappies through constantly wetting,replies was critical that ive made him take step backwards,this really upset me as i was hoping i could get some support from others experiencing simular problems dont think ill be on this site again

Kerry, you do what you have to do, to get through and by. Your still in shock and need to give yourself time. I can 100% say that this forum will help you in one way or another, I come and go on here and am always accepted with open arms (Its just how I deal with it all). As Lougle said (I think) its not a flowery site and will give straight advise and answers, which to be honest I found invaluable.

I have known ds has asd for nearly 2 years now, given a verbal dx originally but it still hit hard when given full dx the other day, spent all day blubbing and I'm normally a strong person.

We had to take a step back with Alfie once he went from fully toilet trained to nothing overnight, so we had to keep him off school for a while. Like I said you do what you feel you have to. Anything to make the distress seem less, we are often having to think outside of the box.

I suppose with Autism there are no rule books
and if there was, the kids would surely refuse to read them

With 5 DCs and on your own, sometimes decisions need to be taken with your sanity in mind. My SN DS is the only 1 of mine not in nappies! My 5 and 3 year olds still are. My 5 year old is constantly on meds that make him leak and for everyone's sanity he is back in pull ups. The constant washing, the having to do the nice calm guy routine when he soils something so badly that it needs to be thrown away does get to you. All the above posts are right. You have to do what is right for you and yours.:)

SanctiMoanyArse thanks I have read up on them, origionally we thought AS, she has language issues so then thought HFA, very clever, not sure about ASD...could be either.
A lot to take in....will find out next week. My Mum is doing a project at work on Autism so keeps adding to the terminology....I must admit to looking on wikepedia for terms I read on MN!

Quite a few on MN at the moment waiting for dx, big hugs to all of you! I dont know about anyone else but I think its wine time!...medicinal of course!

Definately wine time Woolytree make mine a large one! :)

Just another one to add that my DS1 (3.9) is not yet out of nappies. It's really hard especially when you see other children much younger making the transition.

SanctiMoanyArse - interesting to see the definitions. DS1 has no language but no-one currently willing to say whether they think he has learning difficulties as well as autism. Can't help but feel he might. :( But how to tell if he can't communicate?

Well wooly too much info can be a PITA but if you want I could send you the powerpoints from my ASD MA. That's not a once off offer- if not now then ask in a year, two, any time OK?

Twowillbefine third time this week someone has asked that- crap isn;t it that people should have to? There's a lady absed in Newport called Dr Sindari that runs a clinic assessing poeple with LD who may also have ASD and who takes out of area referrals. Thre may well be ones elsewhere mind, just thats the one I know of. Ask about 'tertiary diagnostic clincs' (and those powerpoints are also avaialble to you if you wish)

im at the learning stage,got try ignore comments/critism from others,i did go out today for a very quick basic shop,no one made comments but i was that quick dont think they had time.lol.i no my h/v will moan wen she visits as last time she kept going on that he should b walking and out nappies (that b4 any poss asd noticed):)
i no it will get easier,supprised how much it effected me as ive known since jan it poss asd .i did try him in pants when home from shop but no success :( will try when bk to normal nursery routine x

Thanks SanctiMoanyArse. Send me the info please and Ill have a read when I have the energy....and am not on the wine!

How do you send info on MN?

Kerry the powerpoints are available for you too dear.

Anyone want them email me peaches and cream 04 @ btinternet . com (no spaces)

Am away for a few days next week but they will be sent ASAP

ok time sound thick here lol what powerpoints ?

Oh what alovely thread and I dont feel so bad now that dd whos 4.4 is still in nappies.
I tried to toilet train her at start of holidays but gave up after 2 days as she cried every time we tried to sit her on potty. She will sit on it with a nappy on but wont go near without one.
I shall wait and try again in a few months time (never mind what other people think)
One thing that did upset me though was a GP we saw last week who didnt know dd first thing he said when I lifted her top was [oh shes still in nappies] I could have hit him
Hope you are feeling better now Kerry.
Im quite new on here only been about a couple of months alot of the mums seem like they have known each other for ages.
Most of the threads I have read have been very encouraging even though I dont join in most of them.
Its good to know other people are having the same trials as you.
TAKE CARE AND WELL DONE ON BRINGING UP 5 DC

Ah kerry LOL

Sorry am studying an MA in ASD, have collected biits of basic infor together that I pass on sometimes

Kerry - hope you don't really go! Could do with you sticking around for support. Most parents just don't "get" what we're dealing with with our kids. My son will be 4 in October, he's possible but undiagnosed ASD, and I feel like there's no hope of ever having him potty trained. I've had many many failed attempts so far and I know now, all that will work will be keeping him in pull ups permanently and constantly trying to get him interested, but applying no pressure and just waiting until he is ready. i can't see him ever being ready but what I read on here gives me hope. Kids with needs are just gonna take longer, and we need to find the patience. ((hugs)) I know it's so hard, esp when you feel like you're being judged. xx

Welcome Kerry. Well DS is 4 in nov and not even tried toilet training. I have 2 other kids who were out nappies at 2.5. It's nothing to do with your parenting skills it's totally the ASD. And our kids are often delayed as well as having autism so I find it helpful to think of DS3 as a very large 2 year old. I think he will get there but it will take longer and specialist support. Some areas have community nurses who advise on toileting etc. NAS run Help! seminars for free on various issues and toileting is a frequent issue so you are not alone. Look on NAS site and see if any courses in your area. Go easy on yourself I took 90% what people said to me after diagnosis the wrong way. I would leave tackling new things until you have some support in place. Have you got DLA etc sorted out? You can also ask social services do assessment of you as carer and your child and may be entitled to some direct payments to pay people come and help out / give you break. We have someone who comes weekend and looks after DS so we can take the other kids out. I can't even imagine how single parents do it but remember this is a marathon not a sprint you need to pace yourself and take whatever help is out there. Do you have a local asd support group meeting other parents in the same boat can really help.

this is useful

Yes I agree, have got that book. Am currently trying the slowest toilet training ever with DD..but I think it's going in right direction..last night she sat on toilet for a while and when I said "are you going to do a pee" and she concentrated and did one..so she understands, now am going to increase the number of times i take her..have been doing once a night for ages, wanted it to click..not in a hurry to whip her nappies off and put her in pants all at once!

ive not got anything sorted out yet,he 4 in nov, consultant said asd highly likely but not had formal diagnosis yet,hes being refured to community peads .cant wait get diagnosis "official",so he can get support he needs(plus me),he wont walk more than few mins but getting to big most dble buggies,only one that poss work £500 :-(

there is a Maclaren major twin buggy on ebay just now

but I just noticed its suitable from age 2

something like this:

cgi.ebay.co.uk/Double-Mountain-Buggy-/220651563696?pt=UK_Baby_BabyTravel_Pushchairs_GL#ht_729wt_1137

might be good though?

thanks,i was looking at these but not sure as my son just 1 this week so need recline for him to sleep and struggle get in doors with side/side.thinking suitable tandum till youngest walking then if still needed older son can have major maclaren x

I hope you find something that suits

Glad you're still posting Kerry.

I'vehad the same problem re prams as well as I've got DS2 who has just turned 5 who has autism, and DS3 who is 20 months. I'm currently using a P&T twin pram which fits in a normal front door, fantastic thing, and you can get them cheap off Ebay when they come on. Once DS3 is older I'll be using a buggy board with the mac major. There is also a buggypod, which has a small recline so you might b able to use one now for your toddler?

yeah think im getting used to idea of asd now,just been tearful/sensitive all week but getting easier day by day,today has been great coz he used toilet and was asleep by 8.30 :).think phil/teds b best,then i can get buggy board/major buggy when baby older saw buggy pods,didnt realise they had recline on them worth knowing x

it sounds like you are both doing really well...