Parenting ASD children...

[IndigoBell]

Hi Guys,

I'd like your advice and experience about parenting ASD children.

I strongly disagree with the reward / punishment philoshophy of parenting NT kids. I think punishing bad behaviour only teaches them

1. Don't get caught
2. Mum only loves me if I'm good.

(Ideas courtesy of unconditional parenting)

I also strongly believe in treating all of my children like people who deserve respect, rather than like children who should do whatever I say because I say it.

I even more strongly don't believe in punishing my ASD sons because all it seems to do is cause melt downs - and I'm not convinced it teaches them anything.

So my alternative is to just explain to them what they've done is wrong - without any punishment or consequences.

However with ASD children explaining doesn't have much effect on their behaviour.

But if neither explaining nor punishing works - I'd rather just stick to explaining.

What strategies have you guys had the most success with?

(I'm talking 'normal' bad behaviour like fighting with siblings, swearing, not sharing, addicted to PC, refusing to go out etc.)

Lamp posts we haven't sorted. I may need to do a session with 2 helpers sometime to work specifically on that.

AS for us does have some benifits... Ds2 is very very rule bound, so I just have to remind him about the rules when needed.. It has always just been this way.. I would say if you have a rule based dc.. Make the most of that trait... That and structure.

Our behavioural issues are all linked with asc...
When something causes a meltdown or with meltdowns caused by stress sensory issues, or black and White thinking, change od routine Etc.

justabout - if nothing else, it means that i can safely go into the kitchen and cook dinner because DS1's too busy mithering me for his sock back to pick on DS2 any more. Whenever i warn him that I'm going to take a sock off him, he counters "No! Two socks!"