It's bloody depressing, isn't it?

[siblingrivalry]

I'm in the process of renewing the dreaded DLA form.[is there a hair-pulling emoticon?!]
I've got all my guides at the ready and am pulling together all of my notes in an attempt to answer the questions.

I've only done the first main question and I've had to put the form away til tomorrow, cos I am utterly depressed. It's just so crap that the nature of the form means we have to dwell on what our dc have difficulties with.
It's making me remember all of the problems we have had when we have been out and about (doing the mobility question) and it's horrible

I know it's all a necessary evil but I hate having to do it -I know other people will feel exactly the same. It's rather soul-destroying, really.

I'm meant to be on a diet, but am craving a cuppa and a big bar of chocolate.

You are one step ahead of me, siblingrivalry. I looked at the renewal form, shuddered, and put it away. We need to go for high rate mobility this time. But I am dreading doing that section. Do you think they accept DVDs of footage as evidence (No? ).

Wish they did, Lougle- they say a picture paints a thousand words.

Maybe I should have recorded the conversation I just had with dd1 (still awake ).
It was about Toy Story -her latest obsession -and was a wonderful demonstration of her lack of understanding of facial expressions/tone of voice . I just couldn't summon up an ounce of interest or enthusiasm, poor kid!

someone on here once suggested having a piece of paper to hand and for each negative thing you have to write on the DLA form, write a positive thing on the piece of paper. Hope this helps

Oh, that's nice, waitingforgodot. I think will do that when I tackle the form again tomorrow.

Dh and I were just talking about how awful we feel for concentrating on her difficulties and it kinds of takes you over - I think writing something positive will help me get out of my maudlin mind-set

I got help with mine this time from a local charity. The lady says she does several a week so we got through it quicker than I would have on my own. I also had a letter of support from ds's school stating that he is very challenging when out and they have to have 2 adults with him at all times so I thought we had a good chance of getting high rate.

Got the reply two days ago and they only gave him low rate mobility. I really feel like ringing them and telling them to try taking him for a walk and see how far they get.

Got a month to appeal now but not sure I can face it. It was bad enough filling in the form the first time.

I know its an unpleasant thing to do. Keep smiling! (and posting on Mumsnet!)

What gets me is how you doubt yourself. DD1 sleeps for a chunk in the night now. I tend to sneak in and swap her milk so that we get a chance of her just grabbing it in the night. So I start thinking 'does she wake enough for HRC, am I exaggerating, etc.' (Bear in mind sleep-deprived ramblings). Then I remember that she wakes every morning between 05.00 and 05.30 for the day. DLA 'day' starts at 07.00. That's 1.5-2hrs every night, plus her other wakings. Yeah, I think we qualify

Pixel, sorry you have to go through the stress of an appeal. I can totally understand why you can't face it -the form seems to take over you life doesn't it?

Lougle -I know what you mean about doubting yourself and I definitely think you are entitled to HRC, IMHO.
I often lose sight if just how much help dd needs, until I sit and write down what I do in a typical day (for the purpose of this form).

And seeing her 5 year old sister get washed, clean her teeth and get dressed without any assistance from me is also a stark reminder -I'm torn between pride that dd2 is so independent and sadness that it emphasises what dd1 can't do
DD1 needs to wear deodorant now (what a battle that was!) and this morning I watched her 'dab' at her armpits with the cap still on the bottle and no awareness at all.

lougle, i know the feeling i've recently had to fill in three of the stupid things myself. My dp doesn't really get what is so depressing about them, because he's never even seen the front cover.

I spends 99.9% of the time telling ourselves things aren't that bad, until that bloody form lands on the door mat.

Have a break, and treat yourself to a hot chocolate. Tackle it tomorrow with a spare piece of paper for your pros, and mn on incase you need a rant mid question

Pixel have you asked for a reconsideration? And if need be take the claim to appeal, but have a fresh claim running along side it.
Hope things get sorted soon.

Thanks. I just found it really upsetting when I read this paragraph in the letter:-

'For children under the age of 16, any attention, guidance, supervision or watching over they require must be substantially greater than that required by children of the same age and without disabilities'.

How many 10 year olds can't be safely left to stand on the pavement by themselves for a couple of minutes? When I think that under normal circumstances we would be expecting him to find his own way to and from school it makes me want to cry, he is so far away from being like other children his age.

Tbh it doesn't even seem as if they have read the form properly, they have said ds is only entitled to low-rate because he needs guidance on unfamiliar routes. I've never said this, he is severely autistic, has no concept of danger/road safety and could not even find his way to the postbox at the end of the road, a 'familiar' route he has travelled many times with me!

I suppose I'm going to have to do something about it. It says a month from the date of the letter but it only arrived a week after that, probably sitting in someone's out tray!
Like Heartofcrystal I get lumbered as if I left it to dh it would never get done at all. He'd unearth the form from a pile of papers in six months time.

Meant to say finding his way to school by next year when by rights he would be starting secondary.

Is anyone else filling in the forms but wondering if it will turn out to be a waste of time with all the talk of changing the benefits systems?

I know what you mean sibling rivalry, it's so hard to have all the negative stuff laid out in front of you.. Nice idea though to balance that with some positive thoughts..

Pixel, we were refused the mobility rate for dd2 and the month has passed now and I just couldn't face it.. It co-incided with the worst bit of the statementing stuff for school starting in september..

Have thought we'll re-apply when she's is 5 years. But it does make me feel they have know idea what is normal for a child.

DD2 is so dangerous to have out and about without her being in her major buggy, which she hates and screams all the time she's in it. She is so strong and can wriggle out of a strong hand grip and will head straight for the road..

Going anywhere with her is a nightmare! She is such a runner ( very wobbly but she can go pretty fast sometimes! ) and I hate this aspect of our lives. This is not normal for a child who's nearly 5.. Her peers locally are all zooming round on their scooters stopping at the kerb to wait for their parents! I get so envious when I see the ease with which various school/nursery runs happen..They sail past me whilst I'm pushing dd2 who's crying or screaming whilst ds1 trying to talk to me about his day..

It IS so depressing to have to dwell on all this shite stuff in these forms then find out it was all for nothing!!

Life without chocolate these days seems unthinkable!

Thanks for the support, everyone.
I even dreamed about the damn form last night! Then I woke up thinking about stuff I forgot to write.
AAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!

Don't make my mistake and DO photocopy your completed fprm it will make it quicker for next time.

I did that last time,vjg -then lost the thing! I feel so stupid -put it in a file for 'safe keeping' and the file had vanished into thin air.
I would give anything to have it in front of me now.

I haven't done one yet. DS's teachers and paed have highly recommended that we apply, but I just haven't summoned up the emotional energy yet. But maybe during the holidays...

Ds gets HR mobility and Care but need to renew to get next mobility car and am dreading it. I know he is entitled, he's 15 and can't be left unsupervised for a minute,can't be out alone cross road etc etc. But know I'll have to fight even though he has had mobility since tribunal at five and the gap between him and his peers is greater now than it has ever been.
Dd should also get mobility but I couldn't face the forms when she was five so have two renewals to do in the next six months when I barely have time to breathe.

Asdx2, you have my sympathy, having to do 2 forms
I've just done another question on the form and am seriously questioning how I will get through to the end.