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Original poster

Advise on Asperger issues

15 replies

Tiggamog · 30/07/2010 16:42

Hi all

Newbie here! Mumsnet was recommended to me as a great source of advice and support, so here I go.

Our boy is 10 and has Asperger's, overall he's doing well, and we are so proud of him. However, we currently have an issue around the cinema, he so wants to see all the new films, especially Toy Story 3, but just gets so stressed at the very thought of visiting the cinema.

He doesn't like the trailers, says it's too loud and has a funny smell (he is very smell sensitive), but is getting angry with himself for not being 'brave' enough to go.

We've tried school visits (unsuccessful) and family visits, which ended in tears all round. Would really appreciate any advice or tips anyone could offer, it's terrible seeing him so upset.

Thanks all

OP posts:
justaboutblowingbubbles · 30/07/2010 16:53

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TheArsenicCupCake · 30/07/2010 16:55

Hi and welcome to MN

ds2 wears ear plugs in the cinema which he can still hear through but it cuts some of the noise down ( and helps him feel in control)

with smell.. I'm wondering if there is a smell he likes that you could put on a scarf that he could snuggle his nose in?

IndigoBell · 30/07/2010 19:05

Hi and welcome.

Sounds like he has sensory processing disorder (spd) which you might have to help him with first. ( obviously this is not going to be something you can do quickly)

but if you focus on helping him with that ( through various OT activities) then his whole life will improve....

zzzzz · 30/07/2010 22:24

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ThatVikRinA22 · 30/07/2010 22:41

can you suss out when the quietest time is? like really early on a sunday morning? our cinema is empty at this time. id ring and ask the the staff when the best time to go is for it to be empty.

Original poster
Tiggamog · 31/07/2010 13:36

Thanks so much for all the thoughts and advice, really like the ear plug idea, not thought of that one before but definitely worth a try. Will also try scenting a scarf with something he likes.

Will also check out the NAS listings to see if there is anything near us.

We are working on the SPD, which is proving to be a very slow process.

Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:
TheArsenicCupCake · 31/07/2010 14:17

Happy to throw some ideas at you

we were talking about this as a family ( ds2 is 11 and is as/asc)
dh and I wondered if your ds eats mints as that would block a lot of the smell.. Ds2 says he likes lavender and it helps keep him calm... He suggested putting a smell on the collar of your sons t shirt so no one will see but he could pop it over his nose

Ampersand44 · 31/07/2010 15:48

Our DS (8) will go to the cinema if he has watched loads of trailers and found out as much as possible about the film beforehand.

One thing we find is that he is often more thrown by the images for other trailers, larger than life cut-outs of people etc. on the way in. It means he is already hyped up and anxious before he even goes in. He tends to hide under a coat or we cover his eyes! Not easy when you want to be cool with your friends though.

He did make me laugh once (in the laugh or else you will cry way) when he was being very brave, but keeping fingers in ears and half over eyes while trying to reach down to get something out of his pic'n'mix

Trailers also worry him - esp as once at a kid's show they showed a higher rating trailer by accident so he is frightened by that every time. Would it help to phone the cinema in advance and ask exactly what time the actual film will start and slip in then? We tend to wait until a film has been out for a while as well so it will not be too busy.

Have always wondered about the ASD friendly screenings - what do they do, not have it as dark and make the film quieter?? Anyone been?

Original poster
Tiggamog · 07/08/2010 12:32

Like the lavender idea, DS does like that smell as says it's calming, so will try that one.

Ampersand 44 - Sounds like your DS and mine have a lot in common! He too dislikes the trailers and won't even watch them on a DVD at home, we have to fast fwd to the main film for him.

Have tried going in one the film starts, which worked for a while but something must have spooked him since, as he won't even do that now.

We are going to attempt a visit this week, have headphones, smells, and various other aids to hand, so wish us luck (have to admit am pretty worried out it myself but trying not to show it!). Will report back on our progress, thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
TheArsenicCupCake · 07/08/2010 13:24

Good luck .. Hope it's a successful trip :)

3Trees · 07/08/2010 13:28

I would say, make a routine out of it. my DS likes trip to the cinema, and we ALWAYS Do the same thing, we get there at the quietest time, we get tickets, we get "chocolate ice cream, in a cone" - the staff are used to us - we eat the ice cream on a seat in teh foyer so he can watch and ask questions about everything, so he gets that the smell is the popcorn, or other food he can see, and the adverts are for different films and so on, he can also work out where our number screen is, and so on. He can also take his time to go and find the toilet, and pee, and handwash (can be a long ish priocess if he's feeling stressed)

This way we allow about 20 minutes for trailers and so on, and walk in when the film is about to start. We sit in, usually a 2 seat row, as I tens to go when DP is at work, so no one will go past us, adn we can leave easily if we need to take a short break at any point.

Never realised we were doing a whole "routine" until I realised other parents didn't need to do all this stuff. it works for us (as long as we don't push it and remember to go straight home afterwards - never again will I make the mistake of thinking, "oh, that went well, let's go out for lunch while we're here")

Original poster
Tiggamog · 09/08/2010 18:43

We did it, our first successful trip to the cinema in two years! Toy Story 3 (non 3D version - really good).

DS was a bit stressed, but on the whole coped really well, I am SO proud of him!

We took a lavender scented cloth, favourite sweets and headphones (which he wore all the way through). Cinema staff were really helpful, let us hang around in the foyer whist the trailers were on and were happy to answer all the questions thrown at them by DS.

Sat at the back by the door so we could make a quick exit if necessary, but we didn't need to. Have to admit I was a bit on edge the whole way through, but am pretty chuffed now! DS is chattering away about the film and playing with his Buzz Lightyear toy, he's really calm and chilled, which is fantastic.

Thanks to everyone for the advice, hopefully this will be the start of many happy family trips to the cinema. Thanks again x

OP posts:
oddgirl · 09/08/2010 18:49

So glad he had a good time-well done to all of you-we are going to tackle this very thing with DS ASD so your thread has been great-really nice to hear you all had such a great time.

TheArsenicCupCake · 09/08/2010 18:59

Fantastic glad you had a good and successful time.

3Trees · 09/08/2010 22:52

So pleased you had a good trip and he enjoyed the film

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