sn groups /ms activties

[roundthebend4]

Have reached the point where Im now considering pulling ds and dd who attends as a sibling froma sn group they been attending after pointed comments from some mums and off hand comments from the staff about how easy I have it and how hard others have it regards only respite they get etc.I do realise in a lot of ways compard to the dc there and lot of you that I do have it easier as ds is prety easy going

Ds is 5.1 ,Cp so is wheelchair user but can self propel for few minutes on flat indoors , minmal verbal and does have some problems with understanding so Ms groups wont take him either

But what do you do when dc cant go do ms activteys without support but they dont seem to fit in the sn group anymore

oh and has pretty stinky epilepsy atm to were staying in our local hotel of to addenbrooks today

Very hard to do but I think you should keep going. With the cuts in everything, the government wd love us to stop claiming services. We can all start comparing disability severity and deciding our dc don't deserve help like friend's dc cos they're not quite as bad....

Can you imagine a non-sn family allowing someone to put them off getting treatment for their child's asthma cos another kid has worse wheeze and it's not fair to waste resources on the milder case?

Do your kids enjoy it? If so - keep going. You're there for your kids not for anyone else. Of course you haven't got it easy. Don't be ridiculous. And of corse there are people who are worse. Totally not relevant. If he meets the criteria and is enjoying it...

They sound unfriendly and off putting - comparing SNs is a terrible thing to do. The only criteria should be that care needs are different to fully NT. My DS is moble and verbal (to a point) but is very disabled when compared with an NT peer and that is obvious to most people.

Same here willow ,yes ds enjoys going so does dd is only respite I get .Can handle the parents but it's some of the staff comments that's getting to me yes compared to the other dc there that have Asd or more severe disablites or SLD ds is able but hate that there judging ds on a couple of hrs

Sometimes staff (not parents) can encourage the Pollyanna line. For all you know they could be saying to the parents of the ASD children 'Ooh come on now, so what if little Johnny is running in front of cars, think if he was in a wheelchair like that 'poor wee soul' over there?. If the staff have no personal experience of parenting an SN child, they can start to think it is their duty to encourage the parent to see other children as 'worse' regardless of anyone's needs. Horrible but I have found this attitude now and again. Can you avoid the staff or tell them firmly that your child is your priority, you are not in charge of SN provision for the whole area (unfortunately )

I agree you should keep going if you and your kids are getting something out of it. Really, how SN does someone have to be, seriously? It's not a flaming competition and if you get any more comments from the staff, I would tell them that.

It's the staff bit that was harder to take and it was said in front of group of parents who agreed that Ds is so easy ,

his needs are just as much but there differnt to their dc and DC that go.think going run to Xmas with it as ds and dd enjoy still then I'm going to fade them out of it

Complain to their manager!

Fading away is probably a good idea if you don't feel comfortable with staff making silly comment - People say to me a lot too that ds is easy - but often the people have no idea in the first place what his daily needs actually are, it is just something to say - along with 'you're so lucky' That is usually in relation to hearing about DLA or Carer's allowance - because we all know we can retire to Caribean with that amount of money !

I found that SN staff sometimes feel like you need cheering up by being told that your child 'isn't that bad'....I'd keep going, because otherwise you'll lose out.

If you feel up to it politely point out that no, you don't have it easy and you'd rather they didn't compare you to so-and-so-over-there in future- Good Luck!

Im going to fade becuase sadly they do have a point ds does not really fit in with he rest of the dc that attend ,they tend to be dc with classic Asd ,

am going start looking round see what else there is he can attend where people are less blinkered to other kids of sn

starlight have seen them but as lot of the dc from other group go to both not sure if right place for him either .

Mind wont know if any more damage been done by his epilepsy yet