Queuing and the DDA...?

[saintlydamemrsturnip]

Thoughts - just after a discussion really, I'm not sure what I think.

OK - had a row with stupid parking dept in my local council yesterday. Anyway all very dull but the upshot is I have to go into the parking department to get a new parking permit.

When I have been previously the queues have always been horrendous. For example last time I chose a quiet time, parked right outside, put 30 mins in the meter than sat there panicking that I was going to run over. I got back to the car with about 2 minutes left on the meter.

So it's a long queue. It's also summer holidays. I have ds1 here who will have to come with me. He's severely autistic, 11, big, and cannot wait. He will try and run off and when prevented will hit himself, bit himself, hit me, scream - you get the idea. He can just about wait in a short queue for McDonalds now after five years of work at home and school. Obviously we continue to work on improving queuing ability- but he is not at the stage of being able to cope with a council queue with no apparent reason for queuing (he doesn't have the language for me to explain the purpose of the trip).

So should I be demanding queue jumping under the DDA? How would it work in practice (ime lots of queue jumping facilities get abused and then we're in the same situation as we're still in a queue- ok a smaller one, but still too long for ds1 so still inaccessible).

Would be interested in thoughts and opinions.

Given the attitude of the idiot I spoke to yesterday I doubt they'll be that accommodating. It's one of those take a ticket systems, so I could try and leap in, but I can imagine the next ticket holder (who will have been waiting 30 minutes) getting pissed off. God knows how I'm even going to get ds1 to the counter to be honest.

I genuinely can't work out how to manage this one.

I would phone, explain the disability angle, and ask for an appointment with a named person, at a specific time to suit.

If refused, then quote the DDA.

I would try to avoid saying it is because your ds1 cannot wait. Talk up the distress/anger angle more. Ime, people don't like the thought that one might be able to avoid something we all hate doing (waiting) "just" becasue of disability.

But if you approach itmore from the distress/damage ds1 might do to the waiting area, etc, and of course the inability to keep him safe while on their premises, you migth get further.

Oh good idea - I may just say that he is severely autistic and I cannot bring him in unless I have a pre-arranged appointment time.

when I was a council tenant, and had to go and queue up for works needing done, or rent paid, etc, there used to be a system for those who wanted privacy to have appts so as not to air their linen in public, so to speak.

maybe that way is worht a try? (I know you don't think of it like that, but maybe trying the embarrassing/not easy to be in public angle would help?)

AFAIK, council services have a duty to be as accommodating as possible, and your request is not an unreasonable one, especially given the safety angle.

Right - I have to go into the civic centre, bring a cheque and phone them to come out and collect the cheque from me and give me a temporary permit. So providing I can get ds1 to walk near the phones it will work.

Rather embarrassingly the person I spoke to was the same person as I had a row with yesterday - bet he comes out to see whether I'm a nutter.

You will be pleased to hear the task for this holiday is to get ds1 better at walking where I say when we go out. At the moment he is uncontrollable. That can be one of our practice sessions.

God I hate the summer holidays

I advise anyone getting a motability car NOT to get their first one in the summer holidays - it's a PITA to organise everything that needs organising with it.

Thanks for the suggestions - will let you know how we get on next week.

I do often wonder about queuing and the DDA as it's queueing that prevents access to so much for ds1. But it's so hard for organisations to find a system round it -even when willing.

Saintly - I don't know if it's MN approved on the SN boards but I'm sending you a (HUG) anyway. When I'm getting all pissy about queuing in the supermarket etc I will remember how fortunate I am that I don't have the added struggle that you have to get these things done I have in the past had similar struggles - but never 24/7 and not for a while now - selfishly you soon forget how much other people are struggling.

Frankly, I would be happy for anyone in your situation to go right to the front of the que! However, if your DS presents as an NT child (until he gets wound up!) then I guess you'll have to expect people not to realise and be a bit arsey... it takes a lot to ignore that doesn't it.

How would you feel about DS wearing a badge to say he has SN and maybe a comment underneath it or would this be too embarassing or upsetting for him (or you)?
I'm not sure how I'd feel if he was mine? I didn't mind when the children were small and didn't understand why they were wearing it - it was just a badge iyswim. The children I have had experience with have been clearly SN and/or have been young enough to have in a buggy (que much huffing, puffing, finger pointing etc - but you develop a bit of a thick skin don't you!!).

Actually that's a good point - I do have a badge. I'll try it and see if it makes a difference. Ds1 won't care (unless he doesn't like the feel of the badge).

We put dd1 in t shirts with autism slogans on when we have to get her through places where people are already on edge, such as council offices, airports, etc.

I hate them with a passion, but also view them as an early warning, iyswim. I feel more justified in letting loose if people are tutti g when she plays up when wearing one, as if they can't put meltdown behaviour, together with a t shirt saying "please be patient, I have autism" and make that add up to a child who can't control their behaviour, then they deserve everything they get, tbh (and I am usually a wouldn't say boo to a goose type of person)

Maybe I should invest in some this holiday. We are planning to tackle some problematic behaviour and I am expecting it to be noisy in public.

Ds1 kicked off big style on a beach this weekend (he has a routine - we go to the beach - he swims then we go home immediately- not fair on the other kids - we want him to stay longer - doing his choice of activity but longer). At the time I was too busy dealing with it to notice but dh said loads of people were gawping.

I had this once last summer - respite had been cancelled and I had to had to had to pick up J's prescription that day or we'd have run out - my fault for not being more organised but urgent all the same.

I rang ahead and said I'd be there at 11am but wouldn't be able to wait in the queue for long so could they have it ready (huge Sainsburys, usually huge queues). Snotty woman on phone said tough.

Went in and J started whirling and spinning and then wanted to try all the Bassets vitamin pills, cos he likes the organge ones. Kept trying to open all the packets.

He then got louder and louder asking to leave. I asked the woman if it could be sped up (pre-packaged tablets - literally need a sticker shoving on them!) and she asked why we should be allowed to queueu jump. I (quite) calmly said that I had tried to ring ahead and that I saw it as a reasonable adjusment for my son's disability. The proof of being unable to wait was by this stage very clear as he'd managed 10 minutes and was screaming and pulling at my arm.

They (eventually, with a lot of huffing and puffing) fetched the prescription.

I think it is a DDA thing. It's not unreasonable to ask for a pre-arranged time, and saves everyone else the hassle of us having our boys kicking off in public. Win-win, surely?

Hope it works out!

It is win-win isn't it? But people rarely see it that way.
I should just pretend to be Italian and push right to the front