Support thread for those who are potty/toilet training this Summer

[Marne]

Just thought i would start a support thread as suggested by a few others.

Good luck to all of you.

Dd2 managed 1 wee on the potty today, lets try for 2 tomorrow .

Few Q's as not going well!

Would you use training pants ie the ones with the plastic over them? Only have age 3-4 in mothercare would need at least age 7. This would be purely for going out to avoid mess etc

Refusing point blank to sit on toilet or potty saying no all the time. Can be distracted for about 10 secs whilst looking at a book or phone but just gets up then. Then sends me out of room and wees on floor? Should I refuse to leave? Is this a positive sign that he knows when to go!!

Hasen't pood since Sunday am - should I be worried?

overthebar- i think the best thing to do is shut yourselves in for a few days (which is what we are doing), i found in the opast when we have tried that when i put her back in a nappy to go out then we end up going backwards. I think its best to leave them naked (or bottomless) and let them get used to feeling wet. I would refuse to leave the room, let him pee standing up if he doesn't want to sit down (when you have cracked the peeing then you can concentrate on poo's (sitting on potty).

Dd2 was really stubern this morning, i needed to pop to the post office, just a 5 minute trip, but i needed her to wee before we went, it took me half an hour to get her to wee (after bribing her again with a bounce on the trampoline), we then put pants on her to pop to the shop, she then came home and weed in the toilet for the first time . I'm hoping we have cracked it, i'm going mad stuck in the house (even though its only been 3 days).

We hav'nt had any poo's for 3 days either, i'm starting to worry that she's holding it in. I don't mind if she poo's in a nappy if she wants to as i know she will only poo at home so i don't see it as a problom. If he is refussing to poo anywhere other than a nappy then let him poo in a nappy (its not woth risking a poorly tummy).

Marne, how did you toilet-train DD1? Is that experience any help? And high five for the pee in toilet!
Am going to follow ByWhose's advice re nursery.
Should I stop DS peeing in the bushes at the park? It's becoming a bit of a habit, sort of like a dog. And I have to hold his willy for him (too much info, I know)

sc13, dd1 was a night-mare, at the time we did not know she had AS, i feel really guilty for the way i forced her to be dry when she was not ready , she refussed to sit on the potty or toilet and ofter screemed and went riged when i tried to sit her on it. Eventually we managed it with a mixture of bribes (chocolate) and a sticker chart) but we then had the problem of getting her from the potty to the toilet (by then we knew she was possibly AS so we understood why she was being like she was). We made the mistake of using a plastic training seat so we then had to try and get her not to use the seat ready for school. The school refussed to let her take her seat to school and eventually she got used to the small toilets at school. She's now 6.5 and still shakes like a leaf when she sits on a toilet but she's getting better.

I would let him pee in the bushes but try and encourage him to pee in the toilet or potty. I wish i had a boy, at least when your out its easy to find a bush to go in .

We have had one accident today, 5 wee's and at last (she couldn't hold on anymore) a poo in the potty. Every time she goes its after being promted by me, she still doesn't seem to be able to judge when she needs to go. At the moment i'm asking her to sit on the potty every half an hour (lets hope i can soon up it to an hour).

This thread must be bringing me luck, because yesterday (despite another wetting episode at nursery - they said they didn't get back from the park in time - I really should tell them about the bushes...) we had another poo in the toilet! Under difficult circumstances (he had to stop watching a Bob the Builder DVD), and with me basically cheering him on as if he was Rocky or (forgive me the comparison) a woman giving birth. He was very happy afterwards, and got another star.
I'm less worried now, but part of me is rather that this is my life now: getting all excited about turds

overthebar "Refusing point blank to sit on toilet or potty saying no all the time. Can be distracted for about 10 secs whilst looking at a book or phone but just gets up then."

This is very similar to the problems we're having with ds - he just absolutely does not want to do it. We have managed to get him to sit on the potty for a minute or so with a Thomas game on the iphone, but that is it. Absolutely will not countenance the loo at all.

I wouldn't even mind the accidents (might come to retract that in the future though!) if he at least went with the process of trying to do it - the biggest hurdle we face is his utterly stubborn unwillingness to want to do this.

Does anyone know why toilet training is so hard for ASD children?

sc13- Well done to your DS .

I guess there are lots or reasons why toilet training is hard for ASD children, my dd2 is happy to be wet, she doesn't care what other people/children think, she has spent 4 years in nappies so its a huge change in routine to have to use a toilet and not be changed. At least with a NT child you can use the 'look, so and so doen't wear nappies' or 'nappies are for babies, not big girls/boys' a ASD child is not going to care less if so and so in toilet trained.

Oooh, potty-training watch, I want one! (for ds that is) thank you Marne. He will love the digital display but will fiddle with it constantly and get annoyed when it doesn't fulfil whatever arcane purposes he has in mind...maybe I had better be the one wearing it after all

Let me know how it goes with nursery, sc13, I'm learning to a)never give up b)speak the lingo c)try not to put people on the defensive in getting things for ds but it does make me mad when people go "yeah, yeah" and then not actually do much about it!

and YAYYY! about the poo in the toilet - never in all my pre-children days did I think that might actually be a beautiful sight but now I'm tempted to get out the digital camera and have a calendar made up

hello to all other fellow strugglers

What a day. I am so ashamed. We had another day of refusing point blank to sit on toilet (spend all morning decorating it with his favourite pics) or potty (apart from a 5 second stint). I tried bribing but it just doesnt work with him. He wanted to go out and I said if he did a wee or at least sat on toilet or potty for me he could but no way. So I let him scream for about half an hour while he was bashing me! I gave in in the end but feel so bad for doing that. I put a pull up on over his pants. Thinking about it maybe I am trying too hard because when we just did it now and again about a month ago we had more success - at least he occasionally sat and did a wee on either. I guess out of routine (both nurseries he attends are term time) doesnt help but not sure where to turn to next. Dont want to ruin the Summer for either of us. If only I knew why he refuses ....

overthebar don't feel ashamed about being human and just doing your best in difficult circumstances - bribing doesn't work with my ds either and nor do ultimatums as he will outlast me every time.

My ds goes as fast as possible in the opposite if you try to push him, does yours? But then if you don't push him, he doesn't exactly tend to move things along by himself...

anyway no advice here, but just sympathy and hopes for a better day tomorrow!

sorry for the late arrival, laptops been broke!!!!! DS decided to jump on it.
We are also toilet training between 10 am and 2pm each day. We are doing timed toilet visits, pecs, stories etc. Unless when out and about where school also still use a nappy. School have been toilet training him since September. Still has loads of accidents though. He's nearly 10 yo. Playscheme were also supposed to be continuing with this in the school hols however his pants etc don't look like they have been touched!! Me personally think they are using the fact that they are out and about so needs a nappy. Anyway yesterday he came home in a complete different outfit, so I assumed he'd had an accident. No, he had taken all his clothes off and threw them down the toilet. He also has a problem with wearing clothes so don't know if this has come from the toileting or his clothes probs!!??
Anyway we are not doing very well but then neither did school.
Good luck everyone.

We took dd2 out yesterday (had to go out, couldn't take it any longer), i put a nappy on her, we got to town and i searched for a toilet but got there too late, she still managed a wee on the toilet even though she wet her nappy. At home she is dry and even came in from playing outside to sit on the potty.

How the hell do i get her to be dry out of the house? do i need to take a potty everywhere? its ok to sit a 2 year old on a potty almost anywhere but i'm going to get some odd looks whwen i sit my large 4.5 year old on a potty.

She's seems to be weeing every 20 minutes (as she now thinks its a great game), how do i help her learn to hold it in for longer?

I think i will try and take her out today on a picnic and take the potty with us, i'm not sure if i should put pants on her or a nappy? (depends how brave i am feeling).

I can see how going out is easier with boys (IF they are happy peeing in bushes, that is).
DS is doing quite well (another poo yesterday), but my thought of the day, and it is actually not very comforting, is that (with DS at least) both with pee and with poo it seems to have happened out of the blue.
With the peeing, we had months of sitting him on the toilet, with the games, with the clock, nothing. And then on holiday he just started doing it.
With the pooing, I can't say that it was the result of some special technique either. Now he just sits and pushes (if you spot the 'about to do a poo' face in time).
So, there's hope I think, but in DS's case I'm not even sure it was toilet-training, as in DS and/or his body sort of deciding it was time iyswim

We have had a great day, took the dd's out for the day, put dd2 in pants, took extra pants and trousers, she stayed dry all day , i took her to the loo or potty every hour and she was happy to go for a wee.

On the downside,she hasn't pooed for 2 days (since she did her first poo on the potty), i hope she's not holding on to it .

This looked worth a watch:
www.5min.com/Video/How-to-Toilet-Train-a-Child-with-Autism-7673

That's great, Marne, how did the weekend go?
We had some excitement at the swimming pool (will he/won't he), in the end he peed in the changing room after the swim. Oh well

Just wondering how you all getting on. We have not made any progress. All he does is hold it or do it on the floor when we are not looking. Tried to stay in for a few days but as most of you know with a 4.0 ASD full of energy and out of routine had to give in.Refuses point blank to sit on toilet or potty. Has sat about 3 times but never long enough to do anything. Anyone got a magic wand!

I didn't see this thread before...
Day 10 in the house of pee.
DS2 has only had one very slight poo accident today, everything else went in the toilet.

I feel bad because the only way we can get him to go is by bribery of using CBeebies website. If he goes to the toilet he gets to use the laptop, if he has an accident no laptop. It's the only thing that works and it isn't exactly positive reinforcement!

We have given up alredy dd 4.4 just will not sit on the potty without nappy on.

Dont think she is ready yet we have tried stickers as she loves them,but she cries as soon as we put her near potty.

I did get upset on tuesday though as we went to the doctors for another cough and cold appointment,had a doctor we didnt know,when I took dd s top off first thing he said was WHAT SHES STILL IN NAPPIES.

Gets annoying when you have to explain to GP that dd has development delay

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE ELSE X

DS2 is 5.5 now, we've tried numerous times in the past and we're only just getting there and not at all reliable with poo.

Sorry it's not your time this time, donutbrain.

I do have slight cabin fever as we can't go out anywhere at the moment.

Glitter Im glad you are getting there now I think the poo side of it seems to be difficult for a lot of people.

I will wait another couple of months and try again but like you dont like to stay in much

Hope you have success with the no 2s soon

Well, we've had several days without a poo. I'm force feeding him strawberries which usually do the trick. He's probably holding it in, the little b
The other day was fantasizing about some toilet-training bootcamp, where you send them off and they come back magically trained. Would remortgage the house for it...

Glad I found this thread as we are about to embark on toilet training for our 5 year old.

She seems to have control when you put her on the toilet as she does something in the loo most bedtimes but she won't tell you when she wants to go during the day, so hence we are going to start proper toilet training.

Any tips for wheelchair users(she can't stand or walk and uses a wheelchair)?

Any tips when you are out and about as she is a wheelchair user doing toilet training? Do people tend to use baby change tables to clean your child up afterwards (especially after a poo)or do you encourage them to try and clean themselves?

We used a cotton hire kit (www.southwalesnappies.co.uk) to train our son as they do SN kits for children and young teens but he still uses nappies at night. The cotton did make him uncomfortable initially and he refused to wear them in the day but now I think he has got used to them at night he almost finds them comforting! We were meant to be getting an alarm for night from the school nurse - has anyone tried these? I'm not sure how he'll feel about a foreign body in his bed or an alarm waking him up!