Bad experience at summer scheme

[Blossomhill]

Picked dd up from playscheme today and one of the workers told me she had been given a time out. Apparently she had been throwing things, refused to pick them up and was calling the other children names (ugly, pig that kind of thing)
I spoke to dd and she said it was because the otehr children had called her stupid and wouldn't let her play (which I hadn't been told about)

I rang the play centre when I got home as I was 1. not happy as this had been discussed with me infront of other parents - that dd has thrown and called other children names. gee thanks!

2. They know she has sn and as I explained dd doesn't usually behave like this unless upset. Now the playscheme were like well she didn't seem upset. WTF? I explained that as dd cann;t always express how she feels then she shows it by the behaviour she displays. I think dd is really unsettled as she is missing the IOW.

Anyway I explained that I agreed with the time out and of course behaviour like that needs to be dealt with but just feel so sad as I don't think dd can handle situations at times and feel it's going to get worse as she gets older.

The good thing was apparently she played really well with some little girls this morning so at least one positive.

Just needed to let that out as feel a bit down tbh I just worry so much about dd, poor little love!

Although the behaviour was linked to the girls calling her stupid and not letting her play. I did try and explain that sometimes children may not want to play with you and she did seem to listen (I think)

Please tell me things will get easier.....

Oh, i'm sorry to hear about this! i don't know what sn's your dd has or how old she is.
But i'm guessing your more concerned that the situation was dealt with unfairly? that the children who instigated this didn't seem to be punished but your little girl did . Is that something you discussed with them.

Sorry no real advice, as i don't know your situation enough. Just wanted you to know i was listening!

I sympathise totally - it's right to expect them not to discuss your child's behaviour in front of other parents (particularly when your dd has sn). At least she's sticking up for herself when she feels excluded! My SN DS ran riot in a soft play centre yesterday - one where he's normally absolutely sane and calm. No idea what sparked it - he was just having a bonkers half hour. As they say, tomorrow is another day.

Thanks all do feel slightly better today. It's just so hard dealing with unpredictable behaviour isn't it.
Dd is 6 and has a language disorder

Blossomhill, I do sympathize with you, my ds's behaviour is very erratic, I have to watch him constantly. One minute he's playing O.K, the next minute he can be pushing a little toddler over for no apparent reason. I took him along to a SN's playscheme and felt so at ease. Because of their experience with SN's children, they knew how to manage very difficult behaviour. For once he didn't stand out as the 'naughty' kid. Have you considered taking your dd along to a SN's playscheme? They'd be so much more understanding of your dd's difficulties?

BH, I think things will get easier over time as your DD (hopefully) learns coping mechanisms to deal with things. My autistic cousin learnt to remove himself from situations he found difficult which made things much easier all round. I'm afraid I can't tell you when he learnt this though. Was talking to Essbee about similar things yesterday oddly enough.

Hi Macwoozy. Well we are off to a sn stay and play today so should be more relaxing, I hope!

Thanks SD. It is just so hard as one minute things are fine and one little thing and it all kicks off. Also still feeling a bit up and down as no firm dx yet, except language disorder wheras I do think it's more than that!

Blossomhill, how did it go at the SN's playscheme? Did you find the staff more tolerant of your dd's behaviour?