Suspected ASD lad -but is he naughty?

[victoriascrumptious]

A friend has a nearly 4yr old who has no formal diagnosis but we have always suspected some form of ASD for various reasons.

Recently the school have refered him to a behavioural psychologist and have given him a dedicated LSA as his behaviour is aparently very difficult in class.

So my question is this little lad is very sweet natured but he totally blanks both his parents and anyone else in authority when they tell him "no". It's like he just can't hear the 'no'. Shouting/threats have no effect nor does the naughty step in fact these things make it worse. The only way mum can get him to do anything is by bargining i.e "if you stop kicking the wall I will give you a sweetie".

He is also VERY energetic i.e he runs back and forth at high speed making a very high pitched screaming noise.

Are the above behaviours part and parcel of some form of ASD?

I am feeling very sorry for mum as she is being labelled a bad parent but this child seems to be, well, a bit different than the norm

My DS is 4, ASD, and does the running back and forth you described, sometimes he does it on tippy toes, he makes high pitch noises or humming. It is a sensory related behaviour. Children with ASD have many various stims and it is not naughtiness;... even if it can grates on our nerves after a while

DS also blank/ignores verbal commands. Not always though, but he can be very uncooperative. Sometimes it is because he hasn't understood what is expected or what is going to happen. It helps to give him as many visual cues to support verbal messages. Sandtimers/ routine boards/ schedules/ makaton/ plenty of prior warning/closure... all help.

But DS is also stubborn as a mule and sometimes will not budge no matter what we do

Chidlren with autism sometimes can't process "negative" comments. No, don't, can't, they don't work for them. Your friend needs to switch from negative to positive. She needs to make it clear what sh wants him to do, not what she doesn't want him to do, if that makes sense

"he runs back and forth at high speed making a very high pitched screaming noise" is very much part and parcel of an ASD. It's stimming so he either enjoys doing it, getting some sort of comfort from it or he is doing it because h can't cope with something around him.