concerned my dd has autism - grateful for any advice

[jakala]

Hi, I have a 3yr old dd who I am sure is on the autistic spectrum but im really not sure what to do about it. As a baby she was very late to develop her social milestones such as smiling and interacting (she would just stare at a wall until she was about 5months old!). She was seen by a paed who has never shown much concern. Since then she has continued to be a 'serious/grumpy' child but has since developed speech (very early as it happens)and the pead no longer wants to see her. However as her mum I feel that she is 'different' to her peers but I am unable to express what that difference is. She has occasionally lined up objects and only tends to ever play with one toy at playgroup. She rarely smiles in social situations and doesnt really seem to have much fun. She also has very red cheeks which I understand can also be a sign of asd. She is also very bad at sharing and rarely shows empathy. She does interact with other children but they seem confused by her and her by them...it is like she just doesnt get it.On a positive note she doesnt tantrum and her speech is very gd. I would like to get her checked by professionals again but \i know they will see her for half an hr on her own where she will clearly communicate with them and they will just think im an over worried parent. I can no longer communicate my worries with friends and family as I am told not to be so ridiculous and can sense a lot of eye rolling going on...so desperate to talk to people that may have had similar experience and get any advice that may help. Thanks....and sorry for going on :-)

I have never herd of a link between red cheeks and ASD .

I have 2 dd's on the spectrum, my eldest has Aspergers, My dd1 was very similar to your dd at that age, dd's speech was good (spoke early), she lined up toys and thrived on routine. As for the sharing, she's still very young and i know a lot of nt children that age who don't like to share.

Ask your GP for a referral.

red cheeks? nope, don't think so. Where have you heard that?

google "Triad of Impairments". To push for an assessment it would be helpful if you could give them examples of how she is affected in each of the areas.

the only red cheeks/high colour correlation I know of is on the gf/cf side of things.

it's one of the symptoms listed then, to look out for as an indicator, i believe (and for any other intolerances too, along with the night sweats - usually quoted as red cheeks/ears though I thought)

But standardly a sign of ASD? nope haven't heard that

wow i didnt realise how much of this was going on, people really needing advice about there kids with these problems, its a real shame the health professionals just don't want to listen anymore and they assess the kids in the clinic and they have no idea of what parents go through at home

Thanks everyone for all your comments and advice......it's just really nice to chat to people about my worries.
As for the red cheeks...I happended to google the symptom (sometimes not a good thing to do I know) and the first thing that came up was the association with autism....but as silver frog commented....they seem to be associated with diet???
Sounds like if she is on the autistic spectrum it will be a long ole path to a diagnosis!

BTW Marne...would be really interested to find out what your story has been with your dd's...hope they are both doing well!

jakala, i could ramble on about my dd's all night . Dd1 was a night-mare from birth, would never settle, hated being cuddled by people, hated going out (in buggy or car). I just thought all children where like that as she was my first and i hadn't had much experience on babies. As she got older (1-3 years) she developed phobias, she hated females (would scream at them but was happy to go near men), hated loud sounds (lawn mowers, planes, hand dryers), once she started nursery we realized that her phobias were getting out of control (she would not let nursery staff near her) so we took her to the GP who referred her to pead.
As soon as we saw the local pead she mentioned Aspergers, i had never really herd of Aspergers, i went home and googled and saw the list of traits, what i was reading was a description of my dd1.
It took almost 2 years to get a dx, by then some of her traits had gone (or she was masking them), her phobias had vanished but her need for routine and being in charge of situations was still there.
She's now 6.5, she's working at the level of a 8 year old in english and maths, she has friends (but not close friends), she never stops talking and talks like an adult. She is now struggling with low muscle tone and bad joints which is more of a problem than her Aspergers.

Dd2 is the opposite of dd1, she was a very easy baby (could take her anywhere and she would go with anyone), we thought she was nt, she had good eye contact, walked early etc. The problem was with speech, we thought she was not talking as dd1 was talking so much.
One day we took her for a check up (she had a cold) and the Gp said she was not responding like a normal child would so her referred us straight to the local pead, as she got older it became more obvious that dd2 was a lot more severe than her sister, she would not follow instructions and would not communicate .
She was referred to a local SN playgroup.
At the age of 3 she was diagnosed with ASD. She's now 4.5 and thanks to the nursery she can now communicate using PECS and is now talking, she will now follow simple instructions and can get her point across. Thanks to ABA therapy, PECS and Music therapy dd2 is doing really well. She starts MS school in september and can now read and write.

Its been a long journey, lots of tears (from dd's and me), lots of therapy, i gave up my job to be able to get dd2 to nursery and do therapy at home. I love them so much, my ASD family mean the world to me (dh is also on the spectrum but not diagnosed). Its hard work but the rewards are so much greater the wit nt children.

funnily enough my DS had red cheeks as a toddler. Looking back on it, I reckon it was a gluten intolerance.
Silverfrog-I know you are a gfcf like me. Can you recommend a soya yogurt without bits in? apologies for the hijack!

Marne,

Sounds like you're doing an amazing job with your dd's - funnily enough dd1 also dislikes women and much prefers men....when younger she would weep whenever a woman tried to interact with her! She hasnt had the phobias that you talk about with your dd (although she is an obsessive cleaner if she sees any dirt and gets very upset if anything gets wet!).She also likes to be fully in charge of situations and goes into meltdown if she feels out of control.
I also suspect my dh is on the spectrum but undiagnosed. I have a dd2 who is now 3 months old and she is so different from dd1....smiling lots with lots of eye contact...fingers crossed she is ok.....and if not...and either or both of my dds are diagnosed on the spectrum I just hope I can help them as much as you obviously have for your dd's.

Thank you jakala, i have had a lot of help and advice from MN, without MN i would not have known about, ABA or how to get a statement for dd2.

My dh loves things to be clean and tidy, at the moment he is ill in bed and he's now getting anxious as he's not well enough to clean the house (i can't clean it to his standards but i'm trying).

Dd1 hates things getting wet, if she spills even the smallest drop of water on herself she gets very upset and i have to change her clothes.

Dd2 doesn't cry when she hurts herself unless its serious. She will now ask for food (the first thing we taught her with PECS) and she will now ask using her voice by saying 'i want...', her vocab is getting bigger and she asks for new things every day, today she asked for banana cake . Before using PECS she was getting so frustrated and would try and drag my hand over to what she wanted.

Last year she fell down the stairs (top to bottom) and just got up and walked off , if that was her sister she would have screamed for hours.

Dd2 will cuddle anyone, dd1 hates being hugged.

Yep, they sound just like my dd's, dd1 told dd2 to hug her head master last week (soon to be dd2's head), dd2 walked up to him and wrapped herself around his legs , the poor bloke didn't know what to do. Dd1 will only hug on her terms and only with very close family.

If dd1 hurts her foot she will refuse to walk for 2 days (she did this a few weeks ago with a small blister and screamed for hours).

Dd2 can ask for things and will talk about the colour/shape of things but doesn't know if she needs a wee or if she is feeling unwell. She will ask for food but not because she is hungry, just because she knows how to ask (she would eat and eat).

I think you should see another SALT, she obviously does not know about ASD .

my cleaning is never satifactory for my DH either so have given up and let him do most of it...poor me :-)! Hope your DH feels better soon.

waitingforgodot sorry, can't help. I try to keep the dds away form soya stuff, it doesn't really agree with them.

are you completely cf, or are some A2 dairy products ok? because if so, the St Helens goat's milk yoghurt is ok - natural and honey flavours, and can get in Sainsburys (again, doesn't work for the dds, but dh eats them ok)

There are some soya yogurts without bits in them. They are the usual brand - alpro. In a pack of 4, two are strawberry and vanilla and two peach and pear. They are often in the children's section of the yogurt bit and not with the other soya yogurts.

Another thing you could do is buy the plan soya yogurt and add fruit puree.

Hi Jakala - I've only just felt brave enough to start looking at the SN boards and saw your thread. I have a DD who just turn 3 last week. Like you I have always thought that there's something a bit "different" about her, but there were always excuses I could make - baby brother born when she was 18 months, terrible two's, new nursery... etc. But the issues persisted and so I got a referral to a paediatrician through my health visitor. We are currently going through portage sessions and starting speech therapy. I half expected (hoped) I would just be told everything's ok, but it's looking like DD is on the spectrum, with social communication difficulties and hypersensitivity. We are getting lots of help and support so please push for a referral. If she is ASD then the earlier you can start helping, the better (for her and you!). I'm sure I'm going to be on here lots in the future asking for advice!!

Hi Sweettalkinwoman,
This is my first time doing this aswell and feeling much better just getting to talk about this stuff! It's nice to hear that its worth following through with a diagnosis....Having seen a paed when dd1 as a baby and getting no real help/reassurance I just feel like I need really obvious symptoms before pursuing it again. Like I said before I know she is different but pinpointing it is very hard especially as her speech is very good. Would be great to hear about your story and how you got the health professionals to listen....what are portage sessions? Thanks for your advice aswell...its just really nice to know that there are others who have been through a similar experience.