I need to write something for a meeting, I think I need to apologise & back down; I don't think I can do it gracefully

[KatyMac]

Oh bugger

DD is definitely seeing much more than previously - even if she is having difficulty telling us

She is also the happy, bubbly child she was pre this whole episode

& while I still say she should have been scanned months ago I really can't see any point ding this now

The big 'professionals meeting' is on Thursday & it would appear to be a waste of time for everyone - but no-one is answering my calls so I can't postpone or cancel it - so I better write something to be presented.

I could do with a great writer to help me, someone epic, you know Shakespeare, Dickens, Jacqueline Wilson

Oh Bugger (did I say that before)

TBH I doubt whether to have the scan or not will be your decision. If the clinicians decide it's necessary to proce / disprove their dx they will go ahead and do it. It'll just take longer to get the necessary consents if you won't agree.

I can't help feeling that this is more about you than your DS. Guilt that you think you've in some way caused her temporary condition? Worry that you're under the microscope and being judged - I know I felt that way.

You need to be sensible. Sending a long rambling letter doesn't help your case - in fact if the thought you were a nutcase you'd be helpfully confirming it.

If your aim is to ensure that (hate the phrase) Lessons are Learned then you need to raise a complaint stating how you felt the service your DS received fell short of the mark.

If you don't think an opthalmalogist is competent to dx then you need to return to your GP and ask for referral to another specilaist for a 2nd opinion. But you're playing playing fair to discount one professional's opinion when, by refusing a scan, you'd be asking him to dx with one hand tied behind his back.

Sorry if thsi seems harsh - it's not meant to be as I vividly remeber the jibbering wreck I was when son was facing scans etc. I couldn't engage at any level with the medics for several weeks and his Dad had to take on that role until I got myself together again.

Best wishes

The ophthalmologist refused to scan DD

I made a fuss & the psychologist supported my request for the scan

DD is now better than she was (not completely well, but much better) & I don't think the scan is necessary because she is 'over it'

I agree I am a mad woman

If it were me I'd continue with the scan.

Best wishes

I clearly misunderstood what you wanted to communicate though tbh I'm not sure that you are very clear in yourself what you want this letter to be ie complaint/progress report??

Wet August speaks good sense. It is worth not giving the professionals a bad impression of you at this stage: you never know, you may need them in the future. Try to take your own upset and hurt somewhere else (counselling helped me), but stay on formal terms with them- until the day you decide you really do want to make a formal complaint, but then you need to go in to win iyswim.

I would just sit tight for the time being.

Dear meeting.
Some additional new info that may help inform clinical management plan

1. improving thank goodness (evidence as above)
2. Not back to normal yet
3. Intervention x & y seem to have been useful

However

1. Presumptive diagnosis of conversion not yet proven
2. Clumsily handled at outset when scan/ tests/ careful exam/ listening wd have helped child, mum & diagnosis

I am aware we have finally reached agreement that a scan may be useful. Do you think we should do it now or defer for (insert period) to see if improvrmnet continues. Thanks for taking the trouble to meet. Look forward to hearing your opinions.
Yours sincerely
Completely sane non-munchausens mum politely insisting you look after my child properly

There is a lot of sense in what you all say

mariagoretti, I really like that

I don't think you should ever apologise for trying to do the best for your child. You are not a doctor but sometimes you are right and they are wrong. As I know from experience.

This morning I am convinced I won't be sending anything

But it helped to write it down

Glad it helped. Sometimes verbalising it is all you need. I have written sheets and sheets over the years that never got sent, but it has helped.

it sounds really good. its such a shame our children who are already vunerable and anxious, have to have so many tests

Im rubbish on advice about letters but ill bump this again in case someone else has some more good ideas