Advice please - does it sound like dd might have Aspergers?

[Mummy2BI]

Please could any of you please give me some advice, dd who is now 4 years old has had a few strange behaviours for a while but more things are now starting to emerge and I am getting worried about her. If I could explain and I'm sorry if this post gets too long but want to tell you everything -

1. She is very obsessive with routines she has to know when she goes to bed what we are doing the next day, all routines have to be done in the same order or she gets very upset, for example last night something as silly as we ran a bit late with bathtime caused a complete meltdown as it meant she missed the programme she always watches after her bath.

1. She knows routes to everywhere walking or in the car and gets very upset if we have to go a different route eg. Because of roadworks

1. She is very frightened of loud noises, I can't Hoover when she is in the house and she won't even go in a public toilet if she can hear a hand dryer on, she will sob if we have to walk past roadworks, anything that is loud!

1. She finds mixing with others very difficult, she started nursery last September and still clings when taken in and we have been told she has cried every day since starting when all the children gather on the carpet like she doesn't like being in a crowd of children. She has made a couple of friends but when they come running up and hug her she doesn't do the same back she just looks at them!

1. She is due to start school in September and has been distraught when she has been for transitional visits as it is a new environment and new people, and I am worried that she won't settle in as she hasn't at nursery, her new teacher described her as 'extremely timid' but I'm not sure if that's it I think she actually get frightened in the situations. She was the same when I used to take her to a toddler group!

I'm sorry this is so long, please say if you think it's nothing to worry about, I hope it isn't, but I am worried that she is going to struggle through her school life! All advice welcome.

Yes, she definately could be on the autistic spectrum. You need to go to you gp, explain you concerns, and ask to be referred to a paed for assesment.

The problem with loud noises however is probably caused by sensory processing disorder, which I think most asd kids seem to have. The good news is this can be vastly improved by auditory integration therapy - bad news is it's very expensive.

My son did this at the sound learning centre and it has vastly improved his life, as before the classroom was painfully loud for him and now it isn't.

You are going to have loads more questions - keep posting here. So many of us have been through what you're going through now.

She sounds a lot like my Dd3, she is currently being assessed for aspergers, go to your gp and ask for a referal, I made some notes about the most worrying things and went to the Gp without her. Be prepared for a long slog though, many medical bods still seem to struggle to get their heads around girls with Aspergers.
Good luck and as indigo says there are plenty of knowledgable people on here so stick around.

Thankyou so much for a quick reply! It felt like I had made a start just actually putting down everything that concerns me about dd as I have been worried that there is something more to her behaviour for a while but just thought I was being a paranoid mum!!

I'm worried that if I start this process I will be causing her more problems in what already seems like a difficult time for her? Is there something that can be done to help her if she is diagnosed or will it just give an explanation for her behaviour?

Sorry lots of questions!!

Another thing I have just thought of that she does is chewing - her nails, her sleeves, plastic drink cups, anything really! I have to throw things away as they are so chewed!

Not sure if this is linked but just another example of her unexplained behaviour!

She sounds even more like my Dd3 [7] now, she has eaten her way through several school cardigans and the zip pull off her brownie jumper in the last few months. Oh and she was chewing the skin on her toes yesterday!! LOL.I don't know if it's related to Aspergers either.
I understand what you are saying about causing more problems for her, we debated long and hard over whether to start the process with Dd3, Although I am glad we did now because the wheels turn so slowly and her difficulties are becoming more apparent as she is getting older. At the end of the day it's up to you but remember she wont get a diagnosis unless she needs one, if it turns out she doesn't need one she will just be discharged.
If she is diagnosed you should be able to access support if she needs it but without a diagnosis you will stand very little chance of getting any.
Hope that helps.

You have been given some very good counsel here so won't repeat.

You'd be better off seeking a diagnosis for your DD as with this you will open doors that will otherwise remain closed. At least if you get a diagnosis you will be able to tell her in time; you're far better off knowing than not.

She will likely need extra support at school and the best way forward in that regard is to obtain a Statement for her from the LEA in question. It sounds like even prior to entering she could not cope. You can personally apply for this document now, you do not need a diagnosis.

What has nursery said about DD to date; have they mentioned anything at all?. Is she on anything like Early Years Action or any plan?.

The chewing could be down to either the sensory processing disorder, or retained reflexes.

A dx will give you some help, eg we had 4 sessions with an OT - which did help - but not very much. Obviously there is no magic pill which is going to help.

However it will help your mental state tremendously to have a dx, and will help you access sites like this. And as she gets older it will help her to know her dx.

Thankyou all so far for your advice, Ineed2 it does sound like our dd's are similar and didn't realise that it's not something usually found in girls? Only just started reading more about it!

I know she will probably need more help in school so I need to do something but it's scary having to take that first step!

I'm not aware of any plan she is on at nursery they haven't really mentioned much other than how upset or even distraught she gets over things! She is bright and has an amazing memory so not sure what else they would/could have picked up on in nursery?

They could have picked up on the facts that she chews, reacts badly to loud noise, has problems with social interaction (paticularly at carpet time) and is fearful of change to routine.

Would get the wheels moving asap re GP, at that time ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. Certainly tell this person all that you have outlined here. BTW you may also want to film your DD at home, such footage is useful to show the paed.

She sounds just like my dd at that age, she's now 6 (was diagnosed with AS at the age of 4), she took almost a year to settle in to nursery and then had to move to school. She settled into school straight away as there was a fixed routine (which she thrived on), her first year at school went really well, she's now at the end of year 2 and is starting to struggle with her social skills and is struggling to make/keep friends. At the moment she has no help at school.

Both my girls are on the spectrum and both are sensitive to sound, dd1 will scream at the sound of the hoover and hand dryers, dd2 covers her ears a lot, they both love routine and get upset if there are any changes.

Dd3 is also very bright and this makes her very good at covering up any difficulties she has at school, at pre school the only information I ever recieved was that she was incredibly stubborn and was prepared to argue the toss with the leaders if she thought they were making a mistake. She once argued with the Leader that Jess the cat [from postman pat] was a girl. S
We never had any problems with crying at pre school although she often held on to me and ddin't want me to go but when she started school we had a really bad time, she was vomitting and screaming and stopped eating for ages. The school were great and we did eventually get her settled, however the Headteacher/Senco is not being very helpful in supporting our journey towards a diagnosis.
I have to go now to watch Dd2 singing with her choir, but will keep checking back to see if I can be of any help.
Don't panic, she's still your little girl and with some support she will probably do fine at school.

Just to update you my dh spoke to her nursery teacher this morning to see if they have noticed any of our concerns, the only thing they think she struggles with is being very timid and getting upset when they group together on the carpet. She didn't seem concerned about her and thinks it's developmental.

We are still concerned as I think there is a lot of different behaviours that I would feel happier talking to someone about so have phoned our health visitor (as funnily enough we have had a questionnaire to fill in about dd and one of the questions is do we have any concerns about her behaviour!) we have had to leave a message but feel that we have made a start at least!

Thankyou again for all your advice so far.

I have heard back from the health visitor and she is coming to see me to discuss dd next week, I have arranged it for a time when dh is off work so he is going to take dd out so that she doesn't hear what is being said!

I'm obviously going to tell her all the things I have mentioned above but is there anything else I need to make sure I ask?

Feeling quite worried now!!!

I think you are right to talk when she's not there, she may be little but kids pick up on things and she will know you are talking about her.
Spend the next few days jotting down the things that really concern you, the things you mentioned in your original post are all things you need to mention. Try not to worry tooo much, you are doing the right thing by talking to a professional, you are doing this because you are a good parent and want the best for you child.
Don't be fobbed off though and if you think your health visitor is not taking your concern seriously then get a second opinion.
Good luck

I spoke to the health visitor yesterday and she was really nice, she listened to all my concerns and chatted through them with me. She said that individually you can come up with excuses for each thing but it's when you put all the concerns together that it could be something more.
She was willing to refer us straight away if we wanted her to But she suggested a few other things first, then if later down the line we are still referred it's things that can be said in the referral as already done. So she is being sent for a hearing test to see if she has over sensitive hearing, another health visitor is coming out over the holidays to observe dd, then she suggested see how she goes with starting school until first half term & get feedback from her teacher. Then if the same concerns are still there she will refer us.
I think I'm happy with this as there is no rush as from what she said even if diagnosed nothing will really change!
I would appreciate anyones thoughts, or if you think I should have done anything more?

hi, nothing to add that everyone else hasnt said, but dont forget once your dd goes to full time school you will have a school nurse instead of a health viitor, not sure at what point the change over happens but worth aking hv if that will affect referral etc

Hi Mummy2BI

Re your comment:-

"I spoke to the health visitor yesterday and she was really nice, she listened to all my concerns and chatted through them with me. She said that individually you can come up with excuses for each thing but it's when you put all the concerns together that it could be something more.

She was willing to refer us straight away if we wanted her to But she suggested a few other things first, then if later down the line we are still referred it's things that can be said in the referral as already done. So she is being sent for a hearing test to see if she has over sensitive hearing, another health visitor is coming out over the holidays to observe dd, then she suggested see how she goes with starting school until first half term & get feedback from her teacher. Then if the same concerns are still there she will refer us.

I think I'm happy with this as there is no rush as from what she said even if diagnosed nothing will really change!
I would appreciate anyones thoughts, or if you think I should have done anything more?"

My thoughts are as follows:-

All this "wait and see" stuff will do you and by turn your DD no favours in the long run particularly with regards to school. Your DD has issues now that warrant further investigation by a developmental paed. You can also wait a very long time before being seen by a paed. You run the risk of being mucked around badly here if you do not take charge and get the ball rolling yourself.

The nursery have not noticed anything but many of them are nowhere near properly trained enough to even notice such issues.

I would make an appt with your GP with a view to seeing a developmental pead (it may be a quicker route than getting the HV to do this). Unlike the other people you mentioned this person can diagnose.

Would alterantively advise this HV that you've given it some more thought and that you need your DD to now be referred.

i forgot to add, weinitially got a referral through gp by saying hv said she would refer next visit but im worrying please will they do it now as i dont want to wait another few weeks, they said yes and hv was none the wiser, she had advised waiting for a few months lol

Thankyou so much for your thoughts on what has happened so far, I was unsure myself whether I had done the right thing by waiting and from the response I have had it seems it's best to act straight away!

The hv obviously thought something wasn't right as she was willing to refer but seemed to want to rule out other things first!

I'm going to let dh know your comments and think about making an appt to see gp as if it takes a long time the things the hv is arranging can still happen while we wait for the referral!

FWIW I think that is a good idea, you can wait ages for these appointments and if in the meantime the hv's advice works you can always cancel.

Think about APD (Auditory Processing Difficulties). My son was nearly diagnosed with ASD when I knew that wasn't quite it. Ask the professionals to think about APD.

Hi
Am late to this thread as have only just joined. My son was diagnosed in yr 1 at school. I hadnt really noticed much myself when he was small i just thought it was him. The school were very good and reffered him. It took about a year of the observing and asking questions before they finally diagnosed him. I would suggest you get the ball rolling now. The sooner you know the sooner the school can help in class and playtime. My son is now 10 and i have learnt so much as time has gone by. The things you have mentioned in your thread ae very similar to my son. I would not like to diagnose as i am not an expert but i would say it sounds just like asd to me.

Good luck and if you need someone to speak to please contact me
Karen