I'm struggling with my dad now being very disabled

[oneofsuesylvesterscheerios]

Dad has been in hospital/intermediate care for 3 months. He's gone from being a fit, active and very capable old chap to being completely wheelchair-bound and needing a high level of support in just 6 months. He'll never walk again, cannot stand and needs help to get up dressed, washed and toiletted. He still has no diagnosis (but they've ruled out MND and other similar conditons) other than 'mass nerve damage causing muscle wastage'.

We want to get him home soon and it looks on the cards in the next week or so. He lives alone but his house is quite wheelchair friendly. OT have been in and put equipment and aids in; my brother and dh have cleared his house and thrown away a lot of our family furniture as a necessity.

Dad is very resilient and is determined he will cope with minimum support (even though carers are booked to see to him 4 times a day at first). We live 2 miles away and plan to go round every day. and now I'm trying to shop online for beakers with spouts and lids for him...

and it's just hard. and I feel very tearful for all that my dad has lost and how it will change the family. It all seems so unfair and I feel totally out of my depth.

a catastrophic health change in anyone, but especially when you witness it in a parent, can be frightening and challenging - the natural order of things has been turned upside down - you've become the "parent". It may help to manage this in small chunks - think about the improvements he's made already in order to get home and focus on helping him achieve the goals he wants to on his return ...remember those stages that children go through, only to be forgotten when the next stage arrives,well this is a sort of similar experience. Hate to say it, but life is unfair, it is always changing ... its about how we deal with life, whatever is thrown at us that'll make it horrid or positive ... the other thing is to of course look after yourself