please help me

[sosadmum]

Hi,
I m a mum to a 10 years old that has been recently diagnosed with ADHD with ADS spectrum.
I believe that the school are trying to build a 'case' against him by the way that are dealing with him and the situation. I really dont know where to turn to and who to trust.
I've been told by the pediatrician to 'ride it out' for another week as is end of term and 'everyone is stressed' but I am sure the saga will continue in the new and last term of secondary. I am really scared for him as I want him to be happy and understood and for me because is so hard to keep composed in certain situations and it is really effecting me.
I dont know if any of you can help me but I just wanted to throw a lifeline a cry for help, maybe someone somewhere can read this and help us.
thank you

What case do you think they are trying to build? Exclusion, expulsion? Transfer to 'a more appropriate establishment'?
What are the school doing to make you so unsettled and worried?
Is he at the end of Y5 or Y6 now?
What are your plans for his Secondary education?

Hi thanks for replying
I think that they are trying to build a case so that they can him out of the school.
I am so torn because they say that they want to help yet the account of events are always different from what the school say and what he says plus the teachers contradict themselves on the events. I dont understand why they would be lying, is just so wrong. He does not have SEN as in learning plus if handled the situation correctly it would be much easier for everyone. They keep phoning us (me and hubby) to deal with my son but we both work and it 's putting in in a very difficult and embarrassing position at work.
He is in Y5 have not looked at school for him yet I dont know which criteria to use to choose the best school for him

I assume he has a statement of special educational needs having one to one help at school? so am not sure on what grounds the school are calling you to sort out his behaviour if they are receiving funding for someone to do that from the LEA? I would try not to get to wound up about the situation and try to get all the facts from the school.

Hi

I have a similar child (no ADGD but he makes up for it, ASD) also in year 5

What help is he geting? If he has a statement yuou should get teh school you ask for (to a degree; too many of us want the SEN provision I want ds1 to access so we will know in November)

WRT to information IPSEA and SOS!SEN are worth visiting (websistes), also NAS (National Autistic Socieyu) have an educational helpline

It would also be wortrh asking the LA about which schoolsa re available; I only found out about the unit I want from a colleague at Uni, LEA, school etc didn;t know about it

Once you know whats out tehre you can look around- its a specific AS unit we want for ds1.

hi there
thanks for your replies. No he doesnt have a statements just collating all information now to make one I think I will be sending the letter next week.
He is getting some one to one from teachers/ ta's whoever is available, and they say that they have always a lot of people around him yet incidents happens and escalate to a stage where now he is getting 'restrained' or 'held' because he gets so wound up and they dont know how to deal with him (in my opinion they cant be bothered anymore because for the last 3 years things were ok) he is getting play therapy but that is not helping much either. From Y6 Im going to ask to stop that and have counseling for him instead.
Thank you for all those websites I shall call them on Monday. I am also so scared because I cant cope with this I am on medication myself (as I suffered from depression in the past) I suffer from anxiety and I get very much down and upset/angry. Sometimes I am ashamed to wish he was never like this after all the effort I make and treat him nice and buy him nice things all I get is worry and upset , embarrassment, ingratitude, I just feel so unsettled

Don' t beat yourself up about this. Do you get any support from friends and family? Any time out for you from working and caring it is very important for your own sanity. If you have no one your local social services can sort out help at home or rest bite care if you need it? You must look after yourself so you can care for your son. Have you had any kind of counselling I did when I was struggling with my DD with SN and it all got on top of me really helped to have someone to talk to.

Hi,

Am in similar situation myself.

As well as the above helplines,(I have called all of them and more) you might want to call A.C.E. - the Advisory Centre for Education. There is a Exclusion Advice Line and information line. They sent us a book which was very helpful as it outlines what the school has to do with regards to disabled children before they can exclude them, the adjustments they must make etc.

Document each time they call you, why they call you etc. It all helps when you come to applying for a Statement or a change of school. Note any inconsistencies, date and time.

You also said he is getting 'restrained' or 'held'. How is he being 'restrained'? Are those people doing it trained or been given advice on how to hold him?

HTH

Hi
I wrote to the school making some very clear points on the incident and asking what training the teachers / ta had, also questioning the excessive use of force. They put his hands behind his back and told him to sit down on the floor!
Not impressed at all!
Told the council at all and they are going to suggest more training as well as although they say that they have tot years in teaching and done so many courses in dealing with children like him, this does not reflect on their approach.

I dont have much support around and can only talk so much about it before you start to become boring. But the thoughts of him and this whole issue never leave my mind.
I just hope and pray that I get the strength to deal with this in the best way and that my son finds some serenity