Proud moment destroyed in 1 foul swoop

[rebl]

I can't believe I'm crying over this but I'm so upset. I've just been to my dd(NT) and ds(SN) end of term play at preschool. I was so so so proud when they both came out. My dd was suddenly given the lead role (Snow White) due to illness and she rose to the occasion. My DS managed to sit with the others in his dwarf outfit and signed all the songs. He was really included and I was so proud. He was given a present and certificate like all the others and considering what this year in preschool has been like for him I was so proud to see him smiling and getting the same as all the others. He was so so proud of himself and so happy.

Then they bring out a cake and drinks. The cake was a chocolate cake with all the leavers names on it and they were all given the piece with their name on. Until it comes to to ds. They give him his and then straight away took it away from him because they hadn't thought, he can't have it. DS just collapsed in tears and I spent 20mins in the office calming him down. I'm so angry and upset. They really could have told me because I would have made him some cake with his name on so he didn't feel left out. I feel like I've let him down big time. I eventually had to leave because I couldn't hold it together. Not a single member of staff appologised to me about this oversight or to DS. I've left him with a small bag of haribo, it was all I had that was remotely like a cake and he doesn't even want that. All he wants is cake with his name on like his friends.

So I've come away from what would have been such a lovely proud moment crying my eyes out that yet again my son is different and the only person who ever makes sure that he's fully included is me. How bloody insensitive of the preschool. I know its just bloody cake but to ds it was so much more than that.

That's really sad. I can't believe that the preschool didn't think about it in advance. I volunteer (on an occasional if someone is sick type basis) at a playgroup and know exactly what foods each child can/can't have.
But to give him the cake and then take it away . Poor thing, no wonder he was distraught. I hope you can cheer him up.

Thats awful. I really feel for you, and your son. Some people can be bloody thoughtless can't they? Its so hard to hold it together sometimes, a mixture of disbelief, anger,and frustration at why it has to happen AGAIN! No ammount of 'Oh I'm sorry' after the event can change the fact that they have pointed out that your child is DIFFERENT to the child, their friends and everybody else who happens to be passing. Then its up to you to try to heal that with your child long after they have gone home with their 'normal' children. Give him an extra hug from all of us who know what its like, and one to you too. xx

That's very sad but perhaps a regrettable oversight in the mayhem of end of term poorly handled. Can you take him something appropriate when you collect them ?

I'm now baking a cake for him. I don't think there is more I can do to make it better for him. I'm so upset that they did this. They know. Why couldn't they have said something to me, its really not that hard. Poor ds . Whats so silly is his diet is the least of his problems when it comes to it but its always the thing that results in tears.

oh, that is so sad, your poor ds.

is your ds going back to that pre-school next term? would you be able to have a word with htem about how upset he was?

I can see what Lizs means about an oversight, but it really shouldn't have happened. that isn't something you do to any child, SN or not - it would have been bad enough if they hadn't included him, and not told you about it (so you could supply cake) but to give him cake and then take it away again immediately - no wonder your ds isn't happy! I'd probably throw a tantrum if anyone did that to me!

No, he's not going back, starts school in September. This incident totally illustrates what this preschool has been like. Inclusion has been difficult and them doing anything that makes ds's life easier there isn't done. They've not used his radio aid once. They've not used his computer leads. He's going tomorrow for his last day and thats it. I've given up on them. We were just working on "as long as he's happy" and not bothering with learning there to get through to the end of term and they've managed to cock that up as well.