why do i bother????

[genieinabottle]

I'm so tired of family who do not/will not understand my ds's ASD. (DS is 4.8y)

DS has got chicken pox atm, he has been really withdrawn for the past week, not interested in anything apart from watching the same dvd over and over, or rolling his cars back and forth, i kept trying to get him to engage in a few activities but all my attempts were either met with a hissy fit or he simply ignored me. His level of communication has also dropped.

He also has been mega challenging and not sleeping until 11pm or later. While i know this is probably due to him being unwell it still has got me down.
I'm worn out atm, so i phoned up my mum for a shoulder to cry on.
I asked her if she could have DS for a week after our holidays. We are going to the south of france near my sister's, and on our way back up we will stay at my parents for a couple of days (they are also in france but more northerly), i thought DS could stay a bit longer and we'd pick him up at a later date.

Mum said yes she'd like that. I said if there are any major problems we'd go and get him earlier. I said i'd be worried about communication issues leading to frustration for DS. She reckons they will have no problems.
Bear in mind DS has speech and lang. delay, and doesn't speak french and my parents only speak a bit of english.

She said he will love going to the garden with Papy, and he will have to engage as we have no dvds at our house.
DS hates going over to the alootment with DH, so going to the garden with Papy.... and as if him not engaging simply boils down to watching too much tv!

Well, i'm glad my mum is optimistic but honestly i don't think she understands at all DS's autism.
She has no idea how hard it is sometimes.
If i 'complain' to her that i wish DS could speak properly, have a nice little conversation, she says 'others have it worse' or 'he is not yet 5, stop being impatient', if i say 'his language is so behind' she says 'don't compare him to other kids, it's stupid'....
So i should be grateful that his autism isn't severe but about all the things he struggles with, i shouldn't compare him to NT kids.

Sorry for long rant.

Rant away! Now go and treat yourself to something nice - you deserve it!

You feel fee to ant away.. Weirdly I think either ds will be fine or your mum will call you because he won't and she may get a dose of what you live with.

My mum is the only person other than me who can engage with ds2 if he's on a shutdown.. I reckon I learnt more than I though from her parenting skills.. And we just do things similar.

Yuk for ds having the pox poor everyone in your house!

My experience on that.. He's probably shutting down due to not feeling well.. But itchy and rubbish it's probably just too much for him... I am very sure he'll be a bit more responsive when he is feeling a bit better.

I would go for the easy life on that one.. DVDs, any obsessions and ice cream or his fave thing to eat.. And please try and rest when he does. Xx

Thanks for reading my post and replies.

Tribunalgoer at your mil.

Funnily enough i think part of my mum's optimisum (not sure on spelling here) is due to the fact that DS does like her (and Papy too) and do respond to her within his abilities.

But they has never looked after him alone before, and definately have not seen all of his behaviours. DS has never been left alone with family for more than an afternoon, or gone somewhere without us.
So i agree with you ArsenicCupcake, it will either be good or dreadful...

Hopefully your Mum will learn to listen to you from the experience for next time!!

Just remember .. They will be able to call you if it's too bad..

My parents used to have DS1 (now 17y) over to their house for many holidays in the past.
They loved having him there and DS1 loved going.

I think they don't realise how different DS is to DS1 at the same age...