DS is five today, but.................................

[tiredmummyoftwo]

Today is DS's birthday, but he does not understand that it is his birthday. We have been showing him the calender for ages now and counting down the days, but it has not sunk in with him. He understands birthday parties, he associates it with other children's parties, cakes and candles. He loves blowing the candles and opening presents, but that's it, he shows no interest in anything else. If you ask him, DS when is your birthday, he will say '11th July' because he learnt it, but the words does not mean anything to him.

Sorry this made me sad this morning. DD (3) came downstairs this morning all happy because we are having a party and she wanted to wish her brother 'happy birthday'. Well, DS just said 'happy birthday, DD' as he knows he is supposed to say 'hello, bye' etc to people. So when somebody says to him 'good morning DS' he says 'good morning', but without meaning anything.

Sorry for the rant. Just can't shake off the sadness today.

Sorry you're feeling sad, our kids will always be different and the usual social situations may or may not bring them pleasure. What matters is that he is loved and it sounds like you've got that one sussed.

Happy Birthday ds of tiredmummy

Happy Birthday TiredMum's DS.

Awwwww...it's hard, isn't it?

I hope he enjoys his day in any case.

I find birthdays hard too. Its always a reminder of their delay that they are just not ready to be a year older. Its ok to feel sad today. It always hits me hard on birthdays especially as I have two older children and can remember their birthday at the same age.

ds2 was 14 a couple of months ago and I still tend to have a bit of a wobble. he hates anything to do with birthdays, won't have a cake or presents, balloons or even any mention of the B word. On the calendar he writes "Usual day"

It is hard on any other children in a family because they get excited and want to do all the traditional birthday things and I always feel guilty that they will think we love ds2 less because we haven't done the traditional birthday things.

If your ds enjoys the razzamatazz of parties then have a party not just for his sake but yours and your other children. You are all celebrating having such a wonderful boy in your family.

ds si 5 very soon and he just does not understand it and hates cake anyway , so am going take him to the zoo as he loves it .Guess wont ever have the worry who I should invite to his birthday

I do hope you have had a good day with your ds and made it special. Birthdays are also a celebration of how far you have come as parents, so raise a glass to five years

Thank you everyone for the kind replies. We did manange to have a party, had to light the candles 5 times as all the kids wanted to have a go at blowing candles. It was really nice to see DS enjoying the same thing as other kids and taking part in blowing candles competition together!!!!

He loved his presents, but may be next year we will just take him out for the day. He has come a long way since the diagnosis (from classic autism to now being speech delay with social difficulties), we should raise our glass to that.