Where does one go? Where does one begin?

[bonbons]

I am hoping one/several of you knowledgable lot will be able to help my ds.

I have a 5 year old boy who's going into Y1, and I don't think the school are aware/deal with the problems he presents.

He has severe eyesight issues (without glasses he can make out the top letter only on an eyechart).

Since he was a toddler if there was any loud noise (children playing etc) he would sit in the corner with his fingers in his ears rocking backwards and forwards.

He has to know what he is doing in advance, and will shut down (i.e. not talk, go and lay down somewhere etc) if anything is 'surprised' on him.

His speech is very advanced for his age, and he is mistaken for a child twice his age on a regular basis, and he has a very dry wit, (I describe it along the lines of Jack Dee) very deadpan in what he'll say.

Everything has to be in just so order, his bedroom is immaculate as he tidies it every day, the playroom toys are all ordered in exact ways, and if something is moved he knows, and has to sort it out.

Now I keep asking the school's assistance in keeping me informed of any change to the schedule, or anything. But because he goes into himself when there's a problem, and then just collapses when he gets home. For example, they changed swimming day last week, because he goes to after school club they didn't inform me no note in book bag etc, he didn't have his kit. He put on spare kit, and joined in, but couldn't see as he had no glasses nor his prescription goggles.

He came home that night, and was just repeating to himself all night, had no swimming shorts over and over again.

Anyway sorry this is so long I wanted to give you the information to be able to help me back. Basically because he shuts down rather than screams and shouts, the school aren't taking his issues seriously. I am not sure if he has a sensory issue or another issue, but I don't know what to do with my boy, who acts like an old man. The way I'd describe him is sometimes you see men and you think I could never imagine them as a child, well that child is my son.

Does anyone think that I need to get an assessment (for what I don't know) or should I just accept that this is the way my son is, and carry on dealing with the fall out of surprises from school when he gets home?

Thank you for reading all this.

You could try talking it over with your GP to see if he/she thinks further assessment would be helpful.

In your circumstances I would speak in the first instance to your GP but possibly ask to be referred to a developmental paediatrician. I am not a dr but a parent of a child with SN and your post has things in it that flag the Aspergers / Autism sign up at me. I am not saying that your son has this, only that some of his behaviours are those often shown by those with Aspergers / Autism.

My experience, of being a teacher and parent, is that as children get older it is harder for them to cope with the changes, sensory input and social aspects of school and they start to get very stressed - ideally you need to have some support in place before you get to this situation!

It is tricky as you are right - if he's not screaming and fighting at school then school don't see it as a problem and it is harder to get them to acknowledge what is going on. Try keeping a diary of his behaviours, it might help you and school see any pattern.

Finally - I suggest you post on the SN board, it is much busier than here and there are those who know a lot more about everything than me!

From what you describe he may well have sensory processing difficulties. I suggest you request a referral to the community paediatrician who can refer on to an OT. If the school won't do it, ask the GP.

Thank you very much for your replies. I've posted on to the SN board as well now.

I think appointment with GP needs to be made.

I think it sounds as though your DS is having to work incredibly hard to keep it together in school. Unfortunately, I think children who don't cause an obvious problem in school can slip through the net, and his hard work seems to be masking his difficulties.

School children are expected to cope with sensory difficulties that an adult wouldn't accept. An adult would not take part in a swimming lesson if they couldn't see, but a child is expected to get on with things.

I think you should get an assessment, and school should not be making life so hard on your DS. It does sound as though your DS has some AS traits, but equally, if you can't rely on your senses, you have to cope with life in other ways and a pretty good way of doing that is being prepared - and it's pretty annoying if somebody changes swimming day and pretty stupid of school not to keep you informed.