If your child has special needs, what do you want from their teachers?

[squilly]

I support a child at a Mainstream junior school who is on the autistic spectrum and has quite severe behavioural difficulties.

He's fine when he has one to one support, manages the morning sessions well but really struggles with the afternoons and acts out. Just lately it's bad language, abuse and aggression towards the teacher.

The parents have been talked to about these issues and they've responded in a really strange way. They've been positively aggressive towards the teacher and downright unhelpful in some ways. The teacher involved is lovely...thoughtful, considerate, caring and is really struggling with the situation.

I can't begin to imagine the stress involved in raising a child with special needs. I can imagine it is very wearing to receive negative feedback about your child on a regular basis. Sometimes it must seem never-ending. But surely things will only change if an effort is made to change things? and in that vein, what can the teacher do to help in a situation like this?

What would parents find helpful?

I hope this hasn't come across badly. I'll admit my own experience with special needs is limited, but I want to learn...I really want to help. This child is lovely and I would be so pleased if I could help him during his time at work more effectively. so please...help!!!

Squilly

I have to break it to you.
Parents of children with SN are just as capeable of being aggressive twats as anyone else

I have a great relationsip with DS2s teacher but it takes lots and lots of conversations.
I wonder if the parents are being hostile because they feel defensive. It can be quite drainning feeling that your child is always the troublesome one.

I hope others will come with positive suggestions.. as DS2 is in a special school the mechanisms for supporting him when he is stressed are laid on - quiet room, makaton symbols to help him articulate his frustration, a clear schedule so he always knows what is coming next and does not get 'surprised' by a challenging activity.

Do you think he struggles to re-focus after lunch or is he just tired from 'co-operating? Is the afternoon schedule different from the morning?
What do you do when he acts out?

Squilly, my DS2 has autism, and finds the afternoon sessions quite hard as well. Usually because he is overstimulated at dinner time.

His school have a quiet/sensory room which he goes into for half and hour after dinner to calm him down and help him relax, and this seems to be working so far. Took some time to find something that would work though.

Maybe something not work based might help? Like time on the PC or free play or something he enjoys rather than lesson based?

Agree with Pag that the parents are possibly being defensive rather than agressive.

Thanks for the info. I though all special needs parents were automatically granted angel status I think in this case the guy involved is, actually, slightly twattish (with no badge to polish). Communication with both parents isn't as good as it could be, unfortunately. They're seperated and neither one seems to want to take responsibility at times. They tend to leave the child to an older sibling a lot of the time, which is not ideal and gets in the way of things.

The pupil has a visual calendar, so can see what's coming every day. He always tells me what to expect from the day, so I know what's coming...which is great, cos my memory is SOoooo poor!

We don't have the luxury of a quiet/sensory room unfortunately or the resource of a 'body' to accompany him. I will, however, have a chat with the teacher to see if anything at all can be done to try a calming activity straight after lunch. I do think he may be getting over-stimulated at times. He attends a special club once a week at lunchtime...I'll ask if he's better after that activity as that might put things into perspective.

I think the better qestion might have been what could be done to help him tackle the afternoons better, but I think you've answered that perfectly. Thanks.