Anyone there to help calm me down? Horrible meeting.

[chegirl]

Had an iep meeting today. They are once a term and we get allocated 10mins. Apart from parents evenings that is all the chance I get to discuss DS's significant SEN

Senco asked me my thoughts. I told him. I was polite but made the mistake of telling him I felt that DS's needs had not been met and that the school had let him down. I have just had to apply for my own Statement despite this being flagged up in reception (he is now in year 2).

Cue angry faces, denials and huffing, puffing and defensiveness. What more do I expect? I am not being fair etc etc. All this despite DS not meeting any of his (very low) targets. i.e. to be able to write the letter J correctly. To put this in context DS's name begins with J and he will be 7 in March.

Not anywhere near meeting speech and lang targets - way way off. These targets were set 11mths ago. Staff member said she thought they were too high anyway - agreed but why hadnt they reviewed them in a year?

Fuming, upset. I really hate making myself unpopular. Really would just rather not do anything but I cant ignore how behind DS is.

I forgot to bring up homework issue. He gets the same as everyone else but it is so far beyond his capabilties it might as well be in Spanish. So now feel totally crap as well as being labled difficult.

I really want to move him. DS has real problems with change so its not something I can do lightly.

I feel rubbish. Any advice or soothing words?

Why dont you go through each target and write your views on how DS has progressed. You can then present these to whoever was at the meeting and hopefully arrange another meeting to discuss how they plan to rectify.
I am not at school stage yet so this may not be a practical approach but if it was the nursery, thats what I would do. It keeps the focus on the targets and less opportunity for them to huff

I think you need to contact the parent partnership at the LEA and then request another meeting with the SENCO.
ask for a minimum of an hour. if you don't use it all then fine, but you shouldn't feel rushed.

Don't allow them to brush you off.

Just to let you know you are not alone. Your absolutely right you have to hang on in there and be an advocate for your child, dont worry about being labelled difficult, it is much more important that your childs needs are being met. If your not happy - go back to the school explain your concerns or send the Head an email, if thats easier and ask for another appointment to be set with a more realistic time scale. Take someone with you as a witness and moral support, I took someone from parent partnership / snap - your LEA will give you contact details. There are mixed reviews about their effectiveness, they met up with us before the meeting, talked through what I needed to answers to, came to the meeting, the school staff were all very pleasent whilst she was there - no tutting and pressure to end the meeting - we were there for over an hour and there was a summary and provided minutes. IPSEA were excellent and well worth a call. Do you have a copy of the The SEN code of practice (full copy - u will need to know this document very well) different packs for england /wales etc. IEP's, targets should not remain the same and allow to drift, if they are not being met, need to be re-assessed. Do you have a speech therapist - if so is she inputting into the IEP? does he need to re-assessed by speech therapy does he have signs of auditory processing problems, this may effect his ability to learn to spell. Have you been to see the GP and ask for a paediatric assessment - take copies of any IEP's for the GP to send with the referral. We eventually changed schools, which was right for our child, but we only changed schools when we were confident that the next school could support his needs. Good luck

Thank you for your thoughts and support.

Still feeling despondent. I hate confrontation. If one the families I work with expressed disappointment with my service I would never behave that way, even if I felt they were being unreasonable.

I picked up a transfer form today. I think its time to move. I know the school I want him to go to. My older children went there. The only reason I didnt send DS2 there is because my DD had recently died I couldnt face going back there. I wish I had toughed it out now

Dolfin DS has a dx of Auditory Processing Disorder. I told school more than two months ago. When I asked Senco what provision/adaptations were being put in place he said 'the EP is researching for us'. Is he really telling me they can take no initiative in this? He cant google APD?

He also took the opportunity to have a dig and try and make me look uninterested. He said he had written to me about some play therapy offered (via EP - not him, he hadnt mentioned it was available). He said 'as you havnt bothered to get back to me there isnt much we can do'.

I told him that I had already been in contact with the service and they had observed DS in the classroom and he had already had his first session - at the school!. SENCO was totally unaware. I found his letter when I got home. He had asked me to contact service directly and had signed off with 'hope to hear from you soon'. No instructions to go through him.

I would like to be able to stick it out with the school but I dont think it will be worth it. I am going to talk to parent partnership tommorow.

Thanks again. This is really stressing me. I try to keep it together but we went through so much when DD was ill and after losing her that I dont feel I have many resources left IYSWIM. It shouldnt be like this. Everyone agrees that DS is very behind and not improving. What is the bloody problem here?

I have nothing useful to add except, to say I am saddened at how hard things have been for you And to gve you a feeble cheerleader style ''go chegirl''...

Hi Sorry about the problems you are having with the school but this is very normal as he school do not want to spend the money on the assessments. It costs a lot to do all the evaluations that need to be done for a statement. Remember that don't believe that the school is doing the best for your child, they maybe, but I know of too many cases where they didn't. One boy I know was give SAT scores of 3s by the school in year 6. His parents tried and tried to get the school to assess him but they said he wasn't bad enough. He is now in a MLD school after being assessed by the senior school he went to. The ED Psyc wanted to know how he could have gone so long without any support. Another boy I know was predicted B-Ds in his GCSEs he transfered to a MLD school and they couldn't even register him on the reading scales he was so low. Schools are under so much pressure and greatly inflate children's levels. It's a constant battle and a much harder battle for those parents whose children are passive in class and cause no disruption. Keep fighting it took me 5 years and my daughter has 28 hours now. I was told she didn't need any help as well.

I'm afraid you will have to get used to this. One important piece of advice is to make an agenda, ie write down what you want to talk about and all the points you wish to cover.

Also, make notes in the meeting regarding what is said and write this up as soon as you get home afterwards.

Stay calm in any meetings (scream and rant at home!)

I'd also make a note of the following website, they are there to help you fight for what your child needs and deserves and has a RIGHT to... {{www.ipsea.org.uk IPSEA]]

I am very greatful for all the advice offered. It really does mean a lot to me.

DS's teacher told me they were not going to enter him for SATS as there was no point

I actually do not approve of SATS for 7 year olds but are they supposed to withdraw children from the tests?

Seems very odd if they have not yet felt him delayed enough to ask for a SENs!

Cant have my child spoiling their league table results can we .

I have spoken to parent partnership. I will be applying for transfer and getting on with the Parental Advice in the meantime. I feel its the only way forward ATM.

I will be checking out the links. Thanks.

My child has an auditory processing problem, our speech therapist referred him to the child hearing imparement clinic (CHIC), they work closely with county council hearing imparement service who give advice, and equipment to teachers and schools who have children with hearing problems. CHIC gave our child a hearing aid which cut down background noise and the teacher uses a microphone, so for him it is like having the teacher next to him all the time and minimum distractions. Dont wait for the ed psy to google APD. It is probably best to either contact the hearing impairment service directly or go back to who diagnosed your child and ask them to refer him to CHIC for support with education. Or try the GP.

Some schools are just not good enough. They don not seem to understand SEN or their statutory duties to these children. It caused our family much distress for about a year until the statement was finalised.

It has improved, the new school is excellent I cannot praise the school or its staff enough. So hang on in there, if its gets too tough - back off for a couple of days, look after yourself - its a marathon not a sprint, seek help, know the SEN code of practice, you can make a difference. Good luck