My son cannot sit close to other children at carpet time without getting distracted

[RuthCL]

My son is 7 years old and started at Junior School in September 2008. He did not cope well with the change from cosy, happy infant school to large, imposing junior and his school work and behaviour has suffered ever since. He is easily distracted when he sits close to other children eg: at carpet time, and makes noises to himself when he is concentrating or listening to the teacher which are both distracting and alienating to his friends. Noises include hummming to himself, making raspberry noises in his cheeks and on his hands. One teacher treats him only ever as a "naughty boy" and is confrontational which makes him react whilst in other classes he does not appear to be able to conform to sitting quietly and still. The school suggested that he may have ADHD but I think that attaching a "condition" to him does not help him tackle specific behavioural problems. In the past, in infant school, he was engaged in the lessons, he got good SATs results, he progressed in his reading and had a reading age 3 years above his year average. He was reading Harry Potter by the age of 6. In junior school children are required to conform with stricter behavioural norms and he is struggling to do it and yet at home I have observed that he can sit still and concentrate when there is absolute quiet, he is thoughtful, caring and funny. He has already dropped down a group in his lessons and I sometimes feel that his learning has gone backwards! Has anyone any ideas on how to get a fidget to concentrate? Any fidget devices which don't distract too much? Any ideas on how to help with the "noise making"? Or any thoughts on how he should concentrate when sitting amongst other children, and respecting their personal space? Phew! That's a lot. Sorry! RuthCL

A cush ball or a piece of blue tac to fiddle with during carpet time may help focus his mind.

Perhaps having his own set space for carpet time with a little bit of extra rom

Could he have a run around the playround before carpet to realise the energy and allow him to focus.

My son used a stress ball to stop fidgetting. Also check out his posture, cos DS(2) was very uncomfortable sitting on floor which resulted in him falling on to others and spreading his legs right out etc. He needed OT.

Thanks for your reply. I went to the school today - they've given him something to fiddle with and a sticker chart and visual/cartoon rules to encourage him to stop calling out in class, to stop grabbing other kids and to get to class on time. They are trying all kinds of things with him for which I am grateful for their efforts and ideas but it is interesting how different one teacher's view is to another's. There is one teacher in particular who is very old fashioned and treats him only ever as a naughty boy and trouble maker. It is hard to know when a minor fidgeting problem ends and a more serious problem begins sometimes. All I do know is that I used to get up to all kinds of mischief when I was little - climbing out of the classroom window when the teacher wasn't looking etc... and I grew out of it!

Actually, the blue-tack idea gave me an idea - I might stick it to his bottom so he can at least sit still!

My son of 5 has exactly this problem, especially at carpet time. Otherwise like yours, he's bright, good at any academic thing, fantastic at drawing. PE also a trigger as at their age its boring for boys. Latest teacher's evening she gently mentioned poss of Asberger's! I was rather shocked at the tendency to start talking labels at 5 yrs, after only 4 months in school... But she is trying to encourage him and not just treat him as naughty. He is just taking time to settle, like yours I think. Ask her if she or you can come up with some sort of reward for not doing something, like the noises, but you need some way of measuring it and school to give you feedback. At home really stress what's different when he's sitting still and maybe discuss why teachers don't like the fidgeting, e.g. disrupting others, etc. But the stress ball is a good practical idea.

My Ds has been given a little red mat to sit on at carpet time to try to keep him on his own spot

Lazymymofteenagers - that sounds interesting about the OT as DS is dreadful for falling into the others, falling over them when he is trying to get around the carpet etc. Will have a word with Gp about referral.