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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Original poster

Just had dd1's statement review meeting, I cried in front of the SENco, teacher and advicory teacher....

25 replies

SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 13:14

So embarrassed.. Basically the school don't think they can meet her needs anymore and we might have to think about MLD schooling for her. I knew she was behind, and it might come up, but I walked out the room and locked myself in the toliet and brawled like a baby.. I don't know what to do, as she was supposed to moving to a school nearer in January, but we might defer that till sept. so I can work out what to do what the best..

OP posts:
ingles2 · 18/11/2008 13:16

SGK
don't be embarrassed, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. you are doing your best. Chin up love.

Scootergrrrl · 18/11/2008 13:19

There's nothing wrong with crying. Having looked at your profile, it amazes me that people can go through so much with their children and still find the strength to get up in the mornings. Where are the schools? Do you think she would be better in the other school?

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 13:20

I cry at every bloodly review.. and sometimes at parents evenings, and not because she is doing well IYKWIM, every time its like a blow to my chest. My beautiful DD1 is struggling and has learning disabilities and I don't know what to do.

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ingles2 · 18/11/2008 13:21

Are you getting support from the school? Have they got decent IEP's in place for dd? What do you feel about the other school?

Scootergrrrl · 18/11/2008 13:21

You're not supposed to be the expert on this. What do THEY think you should do?
(That doesn't mean you have to DO it, but they might have some suggestions)

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 13:23

The MLD school is near her current school, the school she was supposed to moving to is 2 mins walk from my house. I have had a letter today saying that DD2 has defo. got a place at the nearby school, and I was going to move both of the girls, but now Dd2 might be on her own whether she is..

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Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 13:25

I have to go and see the MLD school next week. I've seen it before, as we were told when Dd1 was 4 that she wouldn't cope in MS but then education (in their wisdom) changed their mind and insisted on MS.

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ingles2 · 18/11/2008 13:25

Ok, so why do her current school feel they can't cater for her anymore? Has anything changed? Have you talked to the school near you to see if they can still accomodate her or do you think the MLD will be better now?
sorry so many questions

needmorecoffee · 18/11/2008 13:27

I always weep afterwards so big hugs from me. Sometimes its one blow after another
Can the other school cope?

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 13:28

the SENco from the new school was there too. We have to go and see that school next week too. Basically she is working at a reception/yr1 level in year 4. She is very behind her peers.

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ingles2 · 18/11/2008 13:29

What did that senco say? Did she seem nice/supportive?

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 13:30

He was nice, he didn't say much as he has never met Dd1, so couldn't comment. But it was all there in black and white how far behind she is.

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ingles2 · 18/11/2008 13:35

But that's ok, that's what senco is for.
Go and have a look at both schools next week and see which will fit your dd. It really doesn't matter in a way that she is behind her peers, you just want to find a good match for her where she will progress and be happy.
for you though, must be really stressful.

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 13:38

i know, just heartbreaking when you see and hear just how far behind they are. i am a strong person normally

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ingles2 · 18/11/2008 13:51

I know... it sounds so flippant and easy when I say it and I know it's not.
You are completely entitled to break down occasionally, it's not healthy to be strong all the time

cat64 · 18/11/2008 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Thomcat · 18/11/2008 14:21

I'd have cried too babe.

It must hurt like hell.

I cried on teh phone to the DWP a few weekes ago.

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 14:51

Just spoken to the school that Dd1 and Dd2 were supposing to be starting at in january. They can't defer Dd1's place till sept, so I have about 6 weeks to work out what to do. I don't even know if the MLD school will take her,if I refuse Dd1's place then I will be doing 3 school runs comes sept. I really don't know what to do [bawls]

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Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 14:54

If I move both girls in jan. and then they say that Dd1 will be better placed at the MLD school, then it will be unsettling for Dd1, but if I refuse it then I lose Dd2 place too, as I will have to refuse that too.

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Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 14:59

The idea was that, come sept, DH would be taking DS1 to secondary school (he has Cerebral Palsy so can't walk it) and I would walk the girls to school, if I refuse the places then I will have no way of getting them to their current school come sept (its 2.5 miles away). I am going to have to take the places and then work it out, aren't I? I can't risk losing these places. IF Dd1 goes into MLD school then she will get transport anyway.

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Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 17:10

bump, I need advice

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Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 17:10

bump, I need advice

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Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 17:10

bump, I need advice

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paranoid2 · 18/11/2008 17:52

It sounds like the sensible option for now. I know how you feel, the bawling and the anguish and everything else. I have twin boys aged 7. Dt2 has struggled since yr1, youngest in the year and premature by the worst month in the year hasnt helped. I have just moved both boys to a new school with a MLD unit attached. Dt2 goes to the unit and Dt1 to the MS part. I struggled long and hard about whether to move either, one or both of them. In the end I couldnt bear the thought of them being in different schools (although would have been different if they had been different ages and the MLD unit was not attached to a MS school). This is their 3rd week and i think it has been great for Dt2. He is a complex case where it has been difficult to establish his true potential because of his attention diffs and recently started medication for his ADD. I can honestly say that Dt2 loves his new school. He loves not being bottom of the class and he has reacted very positively to all the positive praise, stickers and awards for being star pupil of the week and so on. I really think he is getting far more out of his day and I have seen a real difference in the 2 weeks. They started with basic stuff especially maths and I can see him understanding money and other concepts so much better as the school seem to spend quite a bit of time on everything. The school has a very good success rate at getting children back to mainstream by the end of primary school without a statement so am hoping Dt2 will be in this category.

I couldnt bear the thought of 2 school runs especially as both boys were going to finish at the same time and the schools were about 5 miles apart. I thought the short term pain of moving both of them would be beneficial in the long term but I know when children get older its a bit different.I decided that first and foremost i would do whats best for DT2 and make any further decisions after that, ie to move Dt1 or not.

I had the option of keeping dt2 at MS but he was only going to get 2 hours a day support and I didnt really think that was great. I didnt think the ethos of his MS school would be for him to get to secondary school without a statement unlike that of the unit. I was also concerned that the help at MS would not be consistent and I had seen lots of instances where TA's designed to help just 1 child ened up supporting lots (including my Dt2 over the last few years) . Dt2 is now being taught by a specially trained special needs teacher who has a specially trained special needs TA and he is in a class of 11. Ask away if I can help further . sorry for the ramble

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 18/11/2008 18:24

dh doesn't want to move her twice, but i really don't think we have an option. If we move them and they say she can stay in MS with more support, then its all great, but if we leave them where they are, I will not be able to get them there, esoecially if they decide that dd1 is better placed in MLD

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