Teasing, bullying or just plain nastiness?

[LIZS]

ds(10) has recently been formally identified as dyspraxic. He is at a independent prep school, and has made some good friends who share his interest of creative writing and books, skiing, sailing etc. Otherwise he can be quiet, unsporty and less adept socially than his peers.

As a result it is quite likely some of his peers won't be able to relate to him and some make negative comments. For example "mental" suddenly crept into his vocabulary although we are still not sure in what context it was said or by whom as he is quick to cover up incidents.

In his class there is a core group of preteen, pseudosophisticated girls who are not terribly pleasant to any of the boys and some other girls and each other but seem to sometimes target ds in particular. One spent a lesson yesterday flicking drawing pins wrapped in paper at him. To what extent should we let such behaviour go and at what point does it cross the line into bullying ?

tbh, i think its already crossed the line .

Why on earth didnt a teacher notice what she was doing??

Regardless of your DSs SENs i think behaviour like this is unacceptable IMO.

Agree with TCD.
This is bullying imo, regardless of SEN.

Thanks that has confirmed our thoughts . Hard to know when to make an issue or if we're being precious.

The teacher was a recent cover for sick leave (not an excuse but just to fill in some background)and is not familiar with the dynamics of the group although he also teaches another subject. They were watching a dvd and think sitting towards the back which is why it possibly escaped notice.

aargh wwyd ? ds is now backtracking , it was only during that lesson , if she gets into trouble she's in the same house so we all suffer etc etc. He doesn't perceive it as bullying .

However I still feel the need to flag up a potential problem. I wasn't planning to name names and suspect she won't be formally reprimanded anyway because no teacher saw it. I have to write anyway to excuse him for an appointment.

Bullying is subjective - it is how your ds feels that is important. If he truly feels happy and confident despite this treatment then don't worry much - but if it affects his confidence and his enjoyment of school then it is a real issue which shouldn't be ignored. Sounds like it is surely worth talking to the teacher in any case.

Note is written to the teacher - ironically the school are focussing on anti-bullying next week in pshce and formtime so it may be quite timely .

ds was called aside today and asked to name(reluctantly) the culprit. Teacher apologised for him receiving such behaviour and spoke separately to the culprit. Hopefully the incident is now closed.

It's bullying, without a doubt. I have posted this thread, which I hope will help you and you son.