Please help me understand PDA

[TattyBluebell]

Hello!
I'm just looking to learn about PDA.
It's something I've not really heard of before. A friends 11 year old daughter has just been diagnosed with it.
She has never really wanted to do as she's asked right from being small. She is an only child. No idea if that's relevant or not.
Shamefully, I'd always thought to myself that her parents let her get away with too much, she's quite spoilt and she basically rules the family home. Obviously I would never say that to my friend and I'm feeling a bit bad about that!
Now she has this PDA diagnosis.
What is the difference between a child just kicking off because they don't want to do stuff and PDA?
How does that work at school with teachers and how does that work once they are adults and go to work? Teachers and employers are always going to ask you to do things you may not want to do.. that's just life!
I am literally just wanting to understand so I can understand my friend when she's talking about her daughter.
Many thanks!

Have a look at the PDA Society’s website.

PDA is far more than someone not wanting to do as they are told/asked or kicking off because they don’t want to do stuff. It has absolutely nothing to do with being an only child.

Unfortunately, many DC with PDA (or more accurately ASD with a PDA profile because in the UK it is very unusual to get a stand alone diagnosis of PDA as PDA as a specific diagnosis isn’t in the ICD or DSM.) are not in mainstream schooling. Although some DC who aren’t could be with more understanding and often less judgement from schools and other parents.

Some go on to work. Work is very different to childhood. Some can’t just as some with other autistic presentations can’t.

My child will often want to do things, ie sports club, but the PDA shuts his brain down and he simply can’t engage. His mind and body just refuse, like a massive block. He doesn’t choose to not comply and sometimes misses out on fun stuff

I dont have a pda profile child but i went to a talk.by Laura kerby. She described the "not doing" as above poster said shutting down. Eg a child she spoke to always wanted a guitar, learn to play etc guitar music made her happy. She got the guitar and wanted to play it but couldn't. The anxiety shut her down. So she really wanted to do it. But couldnt.

When i thought my DD had PDA (it turned out her issues were more around constant overwhelm) I did a course on it. They said the main thing is that's it's anxiety around the demand itself, so while a non-PDA ASD child might refuse to go into a classroom because of sensory issues or anxieties about interacting with the other children, a PDA child would refuse even if all that was resolved as it's the demand of going in that's the issue. Obviously that's oversimplified but that's the starting point.