Son diagnosed ASD and ADHD ( I had to pay for assessment as NHS blocked / ex didn't support NHS application). Severe tics now an ongoing problem, mostly in my company I believe, when alone so not being taken as seriously as it should. The things said are too much to cope with because it isn't always a tic. I'm beyond stress with every interaction and don't know how to deal with this behaviour hen we are alone ( teenager and myself).
The school have been the lead on an EHCP ( secondary mainstream).
The speed this has gone through is pretty shocking. I feel very suspicious. It has been so quick I cannot comprehend why. Because, the draft is now available and it looks pointless. It is so woolly and empty of specific important detail, I question why they bothered. In my view, they would desperately love son out because it's non stop detention and non stop resource. There's nothing in there at all about funding or a request for funding.
I have just read the draft and wooly is not the word. I have spent so long writing a parent statement, paying a consultant to check it,.was involved in the meeting to discuss what should go in the draft. My writing is generally good and they've simply used most of my words to fil the draft. The actions however are not ok to me. They are vague, verbose bullshit that says nothing at all.
Here's the problem - I am not resident parent. I have physical health issues which became unmanageable so son lives with father.for secondary school years. I'm doing all the work SEN wise and see son regularly. I asked for father to take on care as resident parent. It was voluntary, I asked for help desperate as was in hospital so much ( with severe physical conditions).
I have been given 15 days to reply to the draft EHCP - I need more time.
My health issues are significant, I recently had a treatment for these illnesses which had severe side effects. I'm managing 4 serious diagnosed conditions.
CAN I SAY I REQUEST MORE TIME?
Second question - my ex is without question alienating my son against me. Direct accusations made to me ref being an abuser ( it's the other way round), being mentally ill. My son is repeating this and is telling me I'm an abuser and this has worsened significant under the care of father and fathers wife - who I believe is hugely influencing this.
I have requested access to son's medical records for obviousl reasons. There are huge issues here emotionally.with him, which I highlighted in the consultation meeting before draft written. His tics are out of control.
There is so much here, I get lied to continually and accused of abuse by ex and my son repeats this belief to me. So I never get answers ref any questions about seeing anyone beyond the GP ( CAMHS).
The doctor surgery has ignored a number of emails from me kindly requesting access to the app to see sons notes.
A phone call Again today ( 3 rd call in a few months on top of email) has made me realise today there's something causing them to suspect I am indeed questionable / safeguarding flag.
I am still not getting clear answers other than told today they're investigating access rights. The shitty reception manager had no time to even write down the name of the lead EHCP caseworker when I explained that we are in an EHCP process, I need to see my own sons medical records. ( We is the wrong word - I'm doing it all ALONE).
I'm being stitched up royally as a mentally ill abuser here, the wife to my ex is absolutely fuelling this and all the pennies have recently dropped. My son is also severely fuelling this. Telling me things directly to say I am an abuser and has made up things I said. ( He has repeated what he has been told by another person, it's very obvious to me).
The stress of this is overwhelming. I can't ever get through on the free advice lines SENDIAS ETC. I am in the poverty bracket now so I can't pay for legal advice.
I don't know what to do and where to go. I'm struggling to cope with each interaction with my child. The behaviour is very difficult to deal with and I feel absolutely broken by the ex, what he and wife in my view are doing. The GP situation is now too much. The school wants you to go away and have themselves spoke to me in a way that makes me feel they are treating me like a hypochondriac. Despite the fact I have been fully involved and virtually wrote this fucking EHCP for them.
Any advice would be welcome.
My priority is more time to review this EHCP draft. 15 days is what they have me.
Next - I don't know if I have the strength to fight this GP situation. My son is going to have great great difficulty in his life and that is guaranteed without someone else having oversight here of what's going on (me). The more I get upset about any of this, the more I feed into every false narrative I see has been dropped somehow.