4yo calling me stupid

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Prepared to be told I’m overreacting but this is new territory so want to go about this the right way.

I told off my 4 year old son (ASD with pda profile, very articulate but poor emotion regulation) for encouraging his baby sister to drop my phone in the toilet - which she bloody did 🫠

It wasn’t a big telling off, didn’t raise voice etc but I was cross.

He responded by saying it was my fault she dropped it and “you are stupid”

I know I need to buckle up for worse as he gets older and in the teen years etc but how do I handle this? We never called our parents stupid or anything like that growing up (at least not to their face!!!)

sorry if it seems like I’m clutching my pearls , I just dread the idea of him saying the same to a teacher or someone

Do you think DS was looking for a reaction? If so, ignoring can be best. It isn’t uncommon for young children, additional needs or not, to go through a phase of this type of thing. Not that that makes it better or easier to deal with. With the PDA presentation, it could also be equalising behaviour. Have you looked at any PDA strategies? Some also find the Declarative Language Handbook and non-violent resistance resources useful.

Alongside this, have a look at a home OT assessment. This can look at adaptations to make the home safer and better meet DS’s needs. This can include things like locks on bathroom doors.