I'm starting to wonder if my child has SEN and am looking for help. I am totally burnt out and don't know where to turn. I feel anxious all the time and am crying a lot because I feel so exhausted by looking after him. So I'm writing on the SEN forum for the first time to ask for help.
I'll start by saying that my son is popular and confident at his preschool and is good at making friends and that this means that his preschool do not see the issues we see. I feel like I'm mad or imagining things. My son has been noticeably different to other children since he was around a year old. Once he could crawl he was unstoppable and I was no longer able to go anywhere except safe areas for him to play. I couldn't even get a takeaway coffee as he needed constant movement. He used to slam his head into the ground when he was upset, often getting cuts and bruises. However, he seemed comforted by this in an odd way. He could run fast at 13 months. He didn't play with any toys until he was over 2 years old, he just ran around. He has always had big emotional reactions to things. He seems to have a very low pain threshold. Sometimes another child will touch him and he screams. But on the flip side, he does crazy things all the time and injures himself constantly. His nursery joke that he should have his own accident book. He also likes acting a clown and making his friends laugh.
As he's got older he's started behaving differently in different settings. For example, his carers in the younger rooms used to comment to me about him behaving in certain ways and his crying and so on. Now at preschool he seems to fit right in and loves being with his friends. He is very sociable. When I went in to talk to preschool to ask for their help, I had assumed that he was the same with them as with me. However, it was like we were talking about 2 different children. Some of my friends have children who are autistic and their behaviour is quite obvious and is the same everywhere. I don't think my son is putting this on though. But I feel so alone because I am exhausted and drained yet I don't know where to go or what to do to get help for him or me.
Some other things about him. He can be screaming and kicking all morning with me then we arrive at preschool and a friend runs up to him and he literally changes in front of my eyes. I am desperate to have that happy little boy when with me too. With me he can be happy for a bit but then breaks down and needs cuddles all through the day. He fidgets non stop. His favourite game is being squished by large sofa cushions. He still doesn't play with toys unless another child wants to play with him. When he's home he just crashes around the house and he tries to climb everything, including me, all day long. I take him to climbing now and he's brilliant at it. He hates certain things so I feel like I'm on edge all the time, for example any crumbs landing on him can trigger a meltdown. He's really stubborn and totally non-compliant which I think I find hardest. I have a younger child too and sometimes I need DS to do something like put his shoes on or climb down from whatever he's on or get off the road or whatever he wants to do. He almost never does what I ask.
Please can anyone advise what I should do? I'm sorry this was long. I'm normally more coherent. I have looked into ADHD but the GP just sent a link and all the clinics said 6 years plus so I didn't know what else to do.